


She's Everything

by ThatDamnKennedyKid



Category: BIGBANG - Fandom, K-pop
Genre: Dun wanna spoil it, F/M, Fem!Daesung, Genderbending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 11:59:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 45,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5827738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatDamnKennedyKid/pseuds/ThatDamnKennedyKid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daesung had never actively tried to hide it, but it had just never been brought up; hadn't realized that the others didn't know. Thank God Yongbae was the first to find out.</p><p>(Cross-posted from AFF)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Her Name Is Daesung

"Oh."

Daesung turned around and saw Yongbae standing in the doorway. "What?"

"You're a girl."

" . . . I don't know whether to feel offended or not."

Yongbae quickly averted his eyes. "Sorry, sorry." He closed the door behind him, but remained in the room, eyes shielded by his hand. "How many of the others know?"

" . . . You say that like they don't. I've put my shirt on, you can look again."

He met  _her_ eyes and smiled sheepishly. "I'm going to be honest. We all thought you were a boy."

She raised an eyebrow, realized he couldn't see it under her hair, then cocked her head. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"All the media refers to you as a  _he_  as well. Are you trying to hide it?"

"No. I'm a girl. I thought everyone knew."

He sighed, but smiled. "Okay. Well, to make this less awkward for you, I'm going to go tell the others. Just to make sure."

She brushed hair out of her eyes. "Yongbae-hyung?"

He smiled at her, soft and without judgement, much the same way he had the night she confessed to him how ugly she felt. "Yes?"

She went to speak, but the words caught in her throat. She tried once more, but nothing passed her lips. He seemed to understand, only coming over and wrapping her in a hug.

"I'll take care of it." He whispered into her hair, squeezing her tighter. "Don't worry."

* * *

When Daesung entered Seunghyun's villa, the place they had promised to meet for dinner (courtesy of Yongbae's cooking), she was assaulted by Seungri.

"Are you really a girl?!"

Jiyong, mercifully, pulled the maknae off her. "You have to be sensitive about things like this! She just got told that her whole group thought she's been male the whole time we've been together." He pushed the maknae into the living room, then turned back to her and smiled sheepishly. "For all the times I've been mistaken as a girl, you'd think I'd recognize when it's the other way round. I'm sorry, Daesung."

She just smiled. "No harm done."

"And I'm sorry for Seungri, too."

"Seungri is Seungri."

Jiyong winced. "I wish that was a compliment rather than an excuse. Anyway, the  _rest of us_  aren't going to be weird to you."

She just smiled. 

* * *

Jiyong kept his promise, at least by himself. He treated her no differently, never suggested different clothing or shoes or makeup or hairstyles. He treated her with the same comraderie he had since he'd warmed up to her in the first place. 

Yongbae was much the same, though the smiles he gave her were kinder and he joked with her more, spoke a little more seriously in their time alone. 

Seunghyun . . . Well. He had always enjoyed skinship with her. Perhaps now, since it would be more acceptable, he took it a little farther. Jiyong saved her more than once, though, from too many on-stage kisses. 

And Seungri . . . harassed her. Lewd comments, bad pickup lines, subtle gestures and some outright flirting. Needless to say, on variety shows and the like, she wedged herself between Yongbae and Jiyong. 

_Not gonna change my ass._

* * *

As time wore on and the media coverage wore off, Daesung found herself most often in the company of Yongbae. The man was quiet and understanding, even if she didn't really want to talk about anything, Perhaps sharing an apartment helped with that, but she found herself more attached to him than anyone else. They tried not to treat her differently, and the effort was commendable, but only Yongbae had completely succeeded. 

He gave her courtesies, sure. He didn't walk into her room without knocking. He was never been afraid to help her with a costume malfunction. More than once, he'd helped adjust the skin coloured chestpiece which held her mic pack and kept her contained during dances and shirtless stage performances. He even rescued her a few times from awkward variety show moments. Such as the one she found herself in now.

* * *

"So, Daesung, you just came out as a girl, right?"

She didn't know how to answer. To her own mind, she was a girl all along. She'd never seen herself differently. She didn't even know that others did. 

"She's been a girl all along." Yongbae answered, hand dropping down between their thighs, hidden from the camera, to twine their fingers together. 

"It's not really a subject we're interested in speaking any more on." Jiyong cut in, face steeled under his friendly demeanour.

"We?" One of the hosts prodded. 

"It affects all the members when even just one is put under scrutiny. It's been an adjustment for all of us, realizing we assumed something about her that's a part of who she is as a person. And it's not easy for her, either, to have to deal with the fallout from that all alone." Jiyong replied. His tone was firm, but the truth of the words were undeniable. She squeezed Yongbae's fingers. 

"Well then, Daesung, I have to ask." One of the female hosts giggled. "Which of these men would you date?"

She met the other woman's eyes. "Jiyong."

Apparently that wasn't the answer everyone was waiting for, because they looked shocked. But she knew this question would come even before she was told of this interview. She had prepared an answer long in advance, one that would shut everyone up about it. 

"Why?" The host pushed. 

She squeezed Yongbae's fingers one more time before a smile was plastered over her face and she clapped her hands together. "He's rich!"

There was a breath before the studio started laughing. 

"You really have a woman's heart!"

"You know what a woman wants!"

"You're a true woman!"

She knew Seungri and Seunghyun were going over her answer in their heads. She could feel how much they wanted to stare at her. Jiyong, merciful god that he was, cracked up in good humour. Yongbae chuckled, reconnecting their hands in their hiding place. 

"If you were her, GD, who would you date?"

Following her example, Jiyong put his hand on Seunghyun's thigh. "TOP. He's a lady-killer."

"TOP?"

An impish look overcame him and he grinned. "I'd go through them all."

"Seungri?"

His gaze met hers for a fraction of a second. "Myself. I'd love to see what I'm like as a man."

"Taeyang?"

"Daesung. But it would be dangerous."

"Oh?" The hosts looked genuinely taken aback. "What's so dangerous about Daesung?"

"You fall hard and fast for her." Jiyong said, looking down at them and grinning. 

"It's really true." Seughyun added. "She just has that way about her that you can't help but fall for her."

* * *

The escort back to their homes was a largely quiet one. Daesung was in the back not only with Yongbae, which, as flatmates, was not uncommon, but Jiyong as well, who was laying with his head on her shoulder. 

"Were you uncomfortable int he interview?" Jiyong asked, hand resting palm-up on her thigh. 

"Yes." She admitted quietly. "But you saved me. Thank you, hyung."

He sat up, meeting her gaze with furrowed brows. "What kind of a leader would I be if I left you hanging like that?"

She shrugged. "Thank you anyway."

Seunghyun sighed heavily, reaching a hand back and squeezing her knee. "I know I've been making you uncomfortable. I'm sorry. I'm not helping you much, am I?" He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "Can I still do skinship with you?"

She hid her jerk of surprise, but Yongbae felt it. "Of course."

"I'll scale it back, though. More chaste actions." He promised, squeezing once more before facing the front again.

"Not a word, Seungri!" Jiyong interrupted the maknae before he could even speak. "You say enough as it is."

"Fine. I'll apologize later. When it's not so cheesy." He huffed and stuck his nose up in the air.

* * *

There was a soft knock at her door. "Can I come in?"

Quickly, she hid behind her bangs. "Yongbae-hyung? What are you still doing up?"

He peeked open the door. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah. I'm decent."

He gently closed it behind him, then sat beside her on the bed. He gave her a heartbreakingly tender smile, then pulled her into a hug. "You can talk to me about anything. Anything at all."

She sighed and rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. "I've been singled out all of my career and even my life for how I look, with my nose, lips . . . the roundness of my face, thickness of my neck. I got used to that, I thought. Especially when it came from the media. I stopped looking, stopped listening. I only looked at fan things, the reviews Jiyong would show me. But I always thought they were judging me like the girls in 2NE1, or any other female idol. It never even occurred to me to consider that they thought I was a  _boy_."

He winced. Having been the one to open the wound, it always touched him deeper than the other members, outside of their protective instincts for their bandmates.

"I didn't even notice. Usually I'm so good with these things: I see a lot of things and keep a lot of secrets. Should I have known? Am I really such an ugly girl that it gets  _assumed_  that I'm male?"

"You're not ugly, Daesung."

"Then what was it?"

"Honestly, it was how you presented." He stroked her hair, resting his cheek on the crown of her head. "You were put into a group with four men, which has never happened. Your name is Dae _sung_  and not something like Dae _see_. The clothing we wear is purposefully ambiguous because Jiyong is androgynous. You're very muscular, even for a man, and the way you would wear your sports bras kept you flat enough that they could be mistaken for pectoral muscles. But there are many feminine things about you that I completely looked over."

She nodded slowly. 

"For instance, how you smell. You always smell wonderful because, as I now know, you use a coconut bodyset that your mother bought you. You're the only member to wear anything on their chest outside a shirt. You have the fullest, thickest and most lushious hair that you wear down to your shoulders instead of up like the rest of us. Your speaking voice is very soft and muted. Your smile can light up the whole world. You put a lot of effort into your skin, in keeping your face clear."

He could feel the twitch of a smile against his collarbone. "But I'm not feminine."

"No, you're not." He kissed her head. "But if you were, you wouldn't be Daesung. And that would be a travesty."

With that, her arms wrapped around him and she finally began to cry.


	2. When The Stars Met The Sun

Formality had never been much of an issue within Bigbang. They weren't really interested in age and status (outside of teasing Seungri) after Jiyong warmed up to them. But even with that freedom of action and speech, Yongbae sure spent a lot of time with the second youngest member. 

"Do you think they're dating?" Seungri asked. 

"Don't be stupid." Jiyong muttered from the fridge. 

Seunghyun observed them, Yongbae and Daesung. She was practically in his lap as they watched some horror movie. At two in the afternoon. On a bright and clear Sunday. She had changed in these last months, but in a good way. Her smiles were brighter, her overall countenance happier. Her hair was growing out, reaching past her shoulders now. And, every so often, Yongbae would brush her bangs aside so that her hair framed her face over covering it. "I can't say."

Jiyong closed the fridge and turned to the cupboards, searching out something fast, premade and sugary. "Does it even matter? So what if they are?"

"I just think we should know is all! No need to snipe me, hyung." Seungri complained. 

Jiyong just raised an eyebrow. "And what if they don't even know it yet? Neither of them is the type to go for cheap thrills, unlike some of us in the room."

Seungri pouted, but Seunghyun snorted. 

"Case and point. Leave them be. So far, Yongbae's been nothing but a support for her. God knows we didn't react the right way at all when we discovered she was a she and you can be damn well sure that she knows it, too."

"So we're just going to let Yongbae take her?"

Jiyong narrowed his eyes at both of them. "Where is all this interest coming from all of a sudden? You never paid this much attention to Daesung when she was a he. Erhm, when we  _thought_  she was a he. At least Seunghyun's always enjoyed skinship with Daesung, but not you."

He raised his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying this might cause problems later."

"I'll stop that if it ever happens." Jiyong assured, taking a whole chocolate cake into the dance studio with him.

* * *

"Yeah, I like it like that."

"Doesn't it make my nose look big?"

"Nah. It frames how lovely your face is."

She smiled at him and nearly blinded the stylist. "Then I'll keep it for a bit."

"I think it would look best grown out long, too." The stylist agreed after she'd recovered. "You've got lovely natural curls that would make the most wonderful waves as it grows."

"You think?"

"I absolutely do."

"Hmm. I'll let it grown then. For now, anyway." They stood up from their chairs together and thanked the women doing their makeup. "Yongbae?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you help me with my breastband?"

"Sure."

Jiyong watched as Yongbae followed her without reserve into the changing section of the backstage.

* * *

"Why the sour look? Did you not get invited to do a solo?"

Yongbae met Seungri's eyes. "Daesung is the only one that didn't."

Seunghyun lowered his head. 

Jiyong stopped Yongbae. 

"But, hyung-"

"It's my job as leader to deliver bad news. Not yours."

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he let Jiyong go.

* * *

Daesung was understandibly hurt, but when questioned, she simply shrugged. 

"It happens all the time." She said with a smile. "I'm used to it."

Jiyong cringed and hung his head, taking her hand. "I'm sorry."

She squeezed it and he knew she was smiling. "Don't worry. I'll make an appearance with Bigbang regardless, right?"

"Absolutely."

"Well, then there's nothing to worry about." She stood and walked to the desk, picking up her wallet and phone. "Sorry to bail on you like this, hyung, but Yongbae promised me dinner."

He met her eyes and smiled back. "Go have fun then. Bring me some chocolate pie!"

She laughed, bright and sunny. "Will do!"

* * *

It had been such a long time since Daesung was in the public eye. The roar of applause she recieved when she popped onstage was shocking. And it took Seunghyun a moment to recognize her. 

Her hair was pushed from her face, her eyes visible and well-done in a flair of dark eyeshadow and liner. Her clothing was all black with long, cherrywood locks falling down the front, lose and wavy. She was in laced up boots, flat-footed like the rest of the members, 

The audience went wild as she fell in with Yongbae, singing with him through the chorus as they rocked to the more provocative feel of the song. Jiyong moved up on her other side and she moved forward, rolling her body smoothly, pumping out her chest in a way that still made the fans scream. Her eyes were open, but they weren't looking at the other idols or the cameras. Her focus was all internal, leaving her blank stare to wander the audience.

Seunghyun almost missed his cue and quite likely would have if the dance trio didn't fall off to the sides, Seungri joining Yongbae on the left and Daesung and Jiyong to the right, riling up the crowd as he pulled her down to kiss her cheek.

It was amazing. As the rap fell from his lips without his thinking and his body moved on its own, he considered it. 

She was an entertainer at heart - a singer, actor, dancer, host. She was built for the stage, meant to be in the public eye and it was more than clear that her enthusiasm was very real to the audience, who craved what she could give them. She was one of the more reserved members (her and Yongbae, honestly, were the most subdued of them all), but that didn't mean she had no identity. 

He was sure she knew about the looks the other idols cast her at her unchanged performance, still playing to the more masculine moves she developed with Yongbae, but why wouldn't she? She'd made them, she loved pumping the audience with them, she loved performing. Anything to stifle her like that, to typecast her as a 'female idol' would be just as detrimental as if they forced the rest of Bigbang to cram into the narrow mold of 'male idol'. They were who they were because they weren't any of those things. Their outfits on stage didn't match, they didn't look like a group. They were a collection of individuals under one banner, united because they wanted to be, not because they couldn't survive on their own. Hell, Daesung herself could just walk into Japan and have her fortune handed to her. 

Seunghyun switched places with Jiyong, letting the leader take center stage with Yongbae. 

Daesung smiled over at him, breathless, but elated. She was sweating, her hair starting to stick to her face under the heat of her jacket and the spotlights. Her eyes were shining, wide and aware, perhaps only of her immediate surroundings, as her body rolled and thrust, shaking with the rhythm of the beat. The long waves of hair she'd grown out, which he somehow hadn't noticed until now in the leadup rehersals, were so lovely around her. She winked at him and moved off the stage. 

Oh, right. His solo.

* * *

Seungri looked around from the bottom of the stage with the backup dancers and the other Bigbang members for Daesung. Taeyang was scheduled as the last solo and subsequently lead into their last full song, which would end their appearance. 

Yongbae shot up from the stage and followed through the opening planned for Ringa Linga. 

Seungri found Seunghyun amongst the crowd, but he didn't know where Daesung had gone either. He managed to find Jiyong.

"Where's Daesung? Did she fall back like she was supposed to?"

"Just watch." Jiyong smirked, taking a drink from his water bottle. 

As the dancers appeared on stage, garbed all in close-fitting black. If Jiyong hadn't have made the point to look at the performance, he would have missed Daesung up there as well.

Her long bangs were left alone, but the rest of her hair was pulled into a neat braided ponytail. She was dressed just like the female backups, long-sleeved, fitted black shirts, short and tight black denim shorts, ankle booties made after the design of a skate shoe. She was wearing Yongbae's TAEYANG hat, pulled down low over her eyes, but not covering them.

"That is Daesung up there, right? I'm not just seeing things?"

Jiyong's grin only got wider. 

"Why is she up there? Did you let her?"

Jiyong shrugged. "She didn't have the option for a solo performance. She wanted to dance and sing. Yongbae offered to give up his platform for her, but that wouldn't have gone over well with MNET, so we did this instead. Don't say a word, though." He leveled a preemptive glare Seungri's way. "The organizers don't know we swapped her out."

Seungri looked up at her again, the way she moved, how much she seemed to enjoy it. He could her the distinction of her breathless voice as she sang, her voice muted like all background vocals. When she looked up, she caught his gaze. A smile split his lips and he gave her a thumbs up and a wink. She winked and grinned back before the choreography forced her position up in front of him. 

Jiyong's clap to his shoulder startled him out of the moment. The smaller man smiled softly at him.

"What?"

"I've been waiting for you to come to terms with the fact that she's still Daesung."

Seungri bowed his head with a smile. "Damn right she is."

* * *

Not a few weeks later, the group was assembled once more for a show. They knew they were probably going to be asked to sing, but they hadn't quite expected this. 

"We get fan requests from around the world in all different kinds fo languages." One of the hosts started. "We would like to know if you're willing to do one of these."

They all exchanged glances. Jiyong smiled and shrugged. "Sure."

The SNS came up on screen:

**Could Taeyang sing &dance I Need A Girl with GD as the girl? Pleasepleaseplease?**

The other members laughed as Jiyong hid his face in Seunghyun's coat. 

Yongbae was laughing as he stood, adjusting his clothes. "Are you coming, hyung?"

Jiyong only groaned, his face still a furious red. Daesung, ever the sympathetic member, stood and patted his knee. "It's okay, hyung. I'll do it instead. I'm actually a girl, after all."

He raised his head a little to smile at her. "I owe you, Daesung."

She nodded to him, then faced Yongbae. "Please be patient with me. I've only seen the dance a couple of times."

"It's okay." Yongbae assured.

She shed her jacket, Seungri wordlessly taking it for her, and pulled more of her hair over her shoulders. 

She looked down at herself for a moment before adjusting into the opening stance. Yongbae moved towards her as the song started and suddenly, Daesung wasn't quite Daesung. She pushed his hand away, some coy feminine shyness overcoming her that didn't exist. She danced alongside him, a flirty smile on her features that just  _wasn't her_. The motions of the dance weren't lost on the audience, however. 

They pressed close more than once, perhaps even more than necessary as some yet unseen femininity arose within Daesung that somehow made her look like a female idol, like the personification of the woman all men dream of. The muscular strength in her body disappeared into a soft vulnerability. Her posture changed and the demanding width of her form shrunk in itself as she folded into Yongbae's arms. The music came to an end, but it took agonizing seconds of the two staring at each other before they let go. 

"I didn't know you could look so female, Daesung!" One of the hosts gushed.

She smiled, distractedly fixing her hair and replacing her jacket. 

"You didn't even look like you had all of those muscles on you."

"It can be difficult to be strong like I am and still be a woman, but I assure you, I've learned to balance."

Seungri snorted, nudging her to encourage her sass. She looked to him and grinned.

"Ah! The maknae is wearing off on me!"

She wrapped Seungri in a hug and he laughed into her collar, pushing her off him and beginning his own sass assault. 

They didn't have to stay much longer. The other request they were asked was another Taeyang solo,  _I'll Be There_ , which Jiyong and Daesung backed him as dancers. 

* * *

Yongbae was in the kitchen of their apartment the next morning, his hair unbrushed, ungelled and messy. He was waiting on toast, staring unseeingly at the toaster. 

The soft padding of feet heralded Daesung's entrance, like normal. She walked over to the cabinet, then to the fridge, probably for milk.

"Do you want toast? I think I made too much."

"Sure. Do you want me to make anything else to go after?"

"I was thinking I might make scrambled eggs with small fried sausage."

"Can I make honey pancakes?"

"Oh. I never even thought of those. Absolutely."

She moved to their stove, pulling the pans they would need out of the stove drawer. The toast popped and he blinked at it, then started to butter it. 

"Do you want anything on your toast?"

"Just butter is fine."

He finished her slices and turned to give them to her, but froze when he laid eyes on her. She was wearing small grey sleep-shorts and one of his loose tanktops with the wide arm holes. She was wearing his clothes. 

She looked up at him, hair lost in its own curliness, and smiled, taking the toast from him and taking a large bite with a grin. He swallowed as his own toast popped. 

"I'm a little scared."

She looked over at him, lips parted slightly in concern. "Why?"

"You look better in my shirt than I do."

Her brow furrowed in adorable confusion, face lowering to inspect her clothing. "No, it's- Goodness, it is. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." He chuckled. "I should lend you my clothes more often. You look good in them."

She blushed, her beautiful curls falling into her face. He gently brushed them aside and smiled at her.

"Definitely."

She batted his hand away with a laugh and pointed the spatula at him. "You're such a flirt!"

His smile widened and her laugh rang as clear as the morning sunshine through the small apartment. 

* * *

"Are you sure they haven't kissed yet?" Seunghyun asked, eyebrow raised.

"Positive. I don't even think Yongbae realizes how much he likes her." Seungri replied. "What do you think, hyung?"

Jiyong was watching the couple from the dining room as Yongbae and Daesung made them dinner, his head propped up on his hand. 

"Hyung?" Seungri asked again. 

"I don't think either of them know." Jiyong replied softly. "They already live together - after that, the line between like and love gets very thin."

"See. They totally haven't kissed." Seungri continued. Seunghyun sighed, but humoured the younger man. Jiyong firmly ignored them both and watched the couple in the kitchen. 

He had his arms wrapped around her, showing her how to manipulate the dish inside the skillet. She giggled when she did it on her own and he moved back over to the cuttingboard, giving her a smile that Jiyong had never seen from him. Gentle, reserved, tender, but so, so honest. It stayed on his face even when he looked away, back to the peppers under his fingers. 

But there was one thing that neither Seunghyun or Seungri had noticed out of place. Jiyong watched as she halted for a moment to adjust the v-neck black tee she was wearing, making the evening sun gleam against the thick golden necklace. 

Now, Jiyong might just be seeing things, might be imagining a connection. However, having co-written, co-produced and featured in Taeyang's  _Rise_  album, he had a pretty good inkling that was the very same necklace he'd bought to be the centrepiece of his outfits. 


	3. She's Grace

Sitting collectively in the recording studio, Daesung within the booth recording her section of  _Loser_ , Yongbae lent back in his seat, eyes slightly wider. 

"I'm in love with her."

Jiyong didn't look away from the soundboard. "Yeah."

"I love Daesung."

Seunghyun nodded slowly. "And?"

"How long?"

"Since forever, stupid." Seungri snorted. "God, you're practically married. She wears your clothes, your jewelry, you live together . . . How are you two the last to realize this?!"

Jiyong tapped the speaker button, rubbing his eyes. "I think we're good for tonight, Daesung. I'll listen to the tapes tomorrow and call you if we need to continue recording."

"Alright hyung." She exited the booth and walked over to him, touching him gently on the shoulder, smile worried. "Just make sure you go home to sleep, okay? Or you can crash at our apartment. I know it's closer. But you need to leave the studio."

He nodded absently, mind obviously still flooded with lyrics and music and sound overlays. She kissed his head tenderly. 

"You can all go, actually." Jiyong muttered, looking over at the clock. "I didn't realize it was so late."

"I've only reminded you of every minute that's passed since two a.m." Seungri huffed, but the look Jiyong gave him silenced any further comments he was poised to make. "She's right, hyung. Get some rest. Actual rest, not coffee."

He nodded absently once more, getting up to get his jacket. Seunghyun, frowning, helped him into it and lead them out of the building. The way the eldest handled their leader was a relief: if Seunghyun was taking Jiyong home with him, that meant he would actually sleep and not stay up writing another song into the next morning. 

Seungri sighed, collected his things and left. 

Jiyong never had too much trouble, usually, in telling Daesung where he wanted her in pitch and placement, but tonight seemed to be a difficult one. he spent more than six hours with her on one verse alone and with how the natural rasp in her voice had thickened, it had obviously taken its toll on her. She winced softly as she cleared her throat, rubbing her neck in an attempt to soothe it. 

Yongbae rubbed her back. "I'll make you honey tea when we get home, okay?"

She nodded, her smile one of gratitude. She zipped up her coat against the bitter winter wind and went to start their car, since Yongbae was the only other person, besides Jiyong, with keys into the studio. He did a quick tidy and locked up, settling into the warmth of the car. 

His mind drifted as she pulled out of the vacant parking lot and away from the bright YG logo. The city lights soothed him, their passing and varied brightness mixing together to create a beautiful woven pattern of colours. It made him wonder about his revelation in the studio.

It'd been years now since he'd walked in on her changing. It felt like ages ago. He felt like if he were to reminise about their time earlier than that, he would still see her the same way, still as the woman beside him driving the car, the woman he was living with, attended church and prayed with. Thinking back, there always was a particular fondness she inspired in him, one that only seemed to have deepened since her reveal. It didn't quite feel like the fondness of friendship, or of any familial sense. The mere throught of her just not living with him filled the pit of his stomach with yearning. He didn't want her anywhere else but at his side. Was the answer really as simple as love? When had this even started for him? Better yet, and more importantly, did she feel the same way?

She parked the car in the parking lot behind their apartment, sluggishly unbuckling and opening the door. He followed her example, stretching with a thick groan as he stood. As silently as the ride home, they walked up the stairs to their tenth floor apartment. He unlocked the door and went to the tea kettle as she pulled out some soft honeyed tea biscuits and numbly started eating one, leaning against the counter. 

"This isn't going to be ready for a bit, why don't you shower?"

She smiled at him again before holding out a cookie. He took it with an answering grin. "You're the best, Yongbae."

He quietly ate what she offered him and stole a few more, idly looking around the kitchen. 

It didn't feel like very long before she appeared again, clean and smelling strongly and refreshingly of coconut. He smiled softly at it, the way his shirt fell down her body. She was taller than he was, her shoulders a little thicker with muscle, back a little broader, body more masculine than she had right to. Her face was clean, the makeup scrubbed off, lips still plush and pink and soft and smooth, her hair dried enough that it started to curl into tight little ringlets of golden cherrywood. Illuminated by the soft kitchen lights and the city glow from their living room window, she was perfection. 

Sleepily, she met his eyes, another cookie halfway to her mouth. She pursed her lips for a moment before moving over to him and pressing it into his mouth. He took it, pulling it into his mouth at her cocked smile. She looked down, some hint of pink along her cheeks under her natural bronze, her smile widening. 

The kettle clicked and he hoped for the long moment that stretched between them that she didn't notice it. 

Her eyes darted to the side and she moved back over to the biscuit tray. He released a breath he hadn't noticed he was holding and moved over to boiling water, dropping in a tea bag and the water before letting it steep. He watched he steam rise from the cup, mind and heart a thousand miles away, idly stirring the cup. Without his consent, his hands removed the bag and added the honey and milk, stirring it together before he turned and handed it to her. 

She took it from him gently, fingertips brushing his in a caress that sent tingles of sensation up his arms. She gave him a cute smile as she took the first sip, humming low in her throat as the sweet beverage soothed her throat. 

_God save me, I've got it bad._

* * *

Seungri was laughing. Seunghyun was grinning. Jiyong leant back in his chair, observing the man at their mercy. 

"It's really not that funny." Yongbae muttered, trying to hide his blush under the brim of his hat. 

"It kinda is." Seunghyun's grin widened. "You've only had this forever and when it finally hits you,  _then_  you get nervous."

"I'm surprised you haven't tapped that yet." Seunrgi mocked, but that earned him three consecutive slaps. "Ah! Okay, okay, I get it! I was making a joke! I don't actually think that way about her!"

Yongbae wanted to die. He should have asked 2NE1. He should have known his groupmates would be less that useless. Or, he could hvae just manned up and admitted his discovery to her. He was starting to think, though, that perhaps just throwing himself off a bridge would be less overall torment. 

"Aish! What kind of friends are you?!" Arms wrapped around Jiyong and Seunghyun. Arms covered by his jacket. "Don't even let me know that you're all getting together?"

Seungri smirked. "We're just helping good ol' Yongbae with a problem he's having."

Yongbae's head met the table with an audible thud. Seungri just told his  _confidant_  that he went to them to get help with a  _problem_. This spelled out his doom.  _This cannot get worse_.

"Really? Can I help?"

"Nah. Guy stuff."

Daesung threw a very unimpressed look his way. "Really?"

"Uh, I just- I mean- Ah, shit." The maknae crossed his arms, pouting. "Walked myself right into that one."

"He's just having some trouble sorting his feelings and how to confess them." Jiyong replied, adding another slap to Seungri's head for good measure. "It's just easier to talk about with other guys. Nothing against you."

"Oh, okay. Would you like me to leave you to it?"

Yongbae groaned. "It's okay. They weren't being much help as it was anyway."

She laughed, pulling up another chair and sitting between the two oldest members of the group. She opened the jacket and underneath the necklace gleamed against the tight-fitting back tee. So did Yongbae's square belt buckle. 

Jiyong carefully scanned the others' faces to see if they recognized it and that understanding only flashed briefly in Yongbae's eyes. It was something that happened pretty regularly then, to see her wearing things that were his. Then it struck him. Yongbae was wearing a white tee, but when he shifted, his jacket moved just enough to see Daesung's signature alongside the Bigbang logo. It wasn't uncommon for them to wear their own merch when they were meeting like this or practising or relaxing or whatever, but this one was specifically Daesung. 

 _They're both so oblivious._  Jiyong sighed to himself, adding an internal eye-roll for good measure.  _They're so cute they're disgusting._

They stayed together through a shopping trip and a subsequent dinner at a wonderfully low-key restaurant. Yongbae hardly looked away from her, but when he did, inevitably, Daesung was looking at him. 

"When we leave, hold Daesung's attention for me for a minute." Jiyong whispered to Seunghyun, who only raised an eyebrow.

"If you say so."

As they got up to leave, Seunghyun caught Daesung's gaze, grinned, and grabbed her jacket, making a beeline for the door. She called after him in mock-indignation before giving chase. Seungri, oblivious little Seungri, laughed and chased after her to see the antics. 

Jiyong caught Yongbae's hand. The other man met his intense gaze, confused. "Hyung?"

"Just tell her. Take her home tonight, take her hands, and just tell her."

He sobered instantly. "Just like that?"

"One of you has to make a move or you'll be enlisted and she's set free." Jiyong warned. "You don't see them, but the looks she gives you are gold. Jump on this opportunity, and fast. Seunghyun's enlisting this year and me the next. You've got two years of time, which seems like a lot, but it isn't. We've been together ten years and it feels like I'm one of the senior trainees giving you advice right now. Make a move, or you're going to lose."

Jiyong dropped enough cash into the tray to cover dinner and grabbed his jacket.

"What if she says no?"

The leader cast his dongsaeng a dark look. "Then you know."

With far less enthusiasm than he had started dinner with, he followed his leader outside. Almost immediately, Daesung spotted him, having gotten her (meaning  _his_ ) jacket back from Seunghyun.

"Are you okay, Yongbae?"

 _I'm so nervous I feel like I'm going to throw up._  "I'm fine, why?"

Daesung brushed some hair from his eyes. "You just look a little pale."

"I'm just tired." He tried to smile, but the sick feeling wouldn't leave him. Daesung frowned.  _No, that wasn't what I wanted._

She tapped Seunghyun on the shoulder. "I think Yongbae and I are going to go home for the night. The rest of you guys have fun, okay?"

"Alright. Have a good night then."

* * *

At the door to their apartment, his hands were shaking as he tried to insert the key. She gently touched his hand and his body acted on it's own. He twisted around, hand latched onto her wrist, and slammed her against the door, holding her captive hand next to her head, his other hand on her hip. Her free hand was braced against his shoulder, stopping him just short of a full body press. Her eyes were wider than he'd ever seen them. 

"I love you."

This wasn't what he wanted to say. This wasn't what he wanted to do. This isn't how he wanted it to go  _down_. He wanted to be gentle, romantic, sincere. He wanted to swoon her, not . . .  _this_. Not treat her like he was an ex-boyfriend in a drama who just wouldn't let go. He didn't want to force her hand, to take away her chance to say no, so stay  _friends_  with him. Oh God, what was he going to do if this ruined that?  _Please let the earth just swallow me whole and end this torment._

"You . . . What?"

Why did she sound so surprised? Surely she realized that she had millions of fans, male ones, too, who would give up family members for a chance to touch her, let alone  _kiss_  her.

"I love you. So much."

The hand on his shoulder slid slowly over to the exposed skin of his neck, making him shiver. 

"Really?" The word was spoken low, drawn out on the razor edge of disbelief and terrifying hope. 

The hand holding her wrist loosened, fingers sliding to twine with hers, squeezing them tightly. His other hand, shaking badly, came up to cup her round cheek.

"God," He hissed, panting inches from her lips. "yes."

She gave a little breathless laugh, eyes crinkling but not closing with her smile. "Me too."

He didn't waste another second in fusing their lips together, destroying any space between them. He groaned, his rational mind trying to tell him that being trapped against the door must not have been comfortable, but her answering whine silenced that voice.  _She seems comfortable enough_. 

The hand against his neck trailed to his nape, pulling him in closer as she rolled her body into his. He broke off with a tortured moan, resting his forehead against hers as they panted into each other's mouths. She squeezed his hand and he smiled. 

"I love you. I love you, I love you." He gasped, tangling his hand in her thick locks. 

"I love you too."

He dove in again, kissing her hard and desperate. She parted under him, letting his tongue sweep in. She moaned, the caramel of his desert lingering. 

There was a very dark cough from down the hall. They broke apart, chests heaving, to meet the dangerous glare of a very,  _very_  conservative elderly woman and her disgusted husband. 

Daesung swallowed and ducked down, grabbing the keys Yongbae had dropped. Her nerves shone through under their piercing stares and she fumbled as she tried to get the key into the lock. 

"Just what kind of behaviour is that?!" The man started. "Both of you! What revolting behaviour!"

The woman snorted. "They already live together, alone. I'm sure this is the least we'll witness."

The key slid into the lock and Daesung couldn't open the door fast enough. She almost broke his key pulling it out of the lock. Yongbae bolted in after her, pushing her against the door again, this time to slam it closed. 

"HARLOT!" The woman screeched, loud enough to be heard through the door, but when Yongbae slipped the deadbolt into place, Daesung broke down laughing, not even able to be offended at the woman's unsavoury opinion of her. 

Yongbae started laughing too, dropping his face into the crook of her neck. 

"That did just happen, right?" Daesung wheezed between laughs, staring up at the ceiling. 

"I'm pretty sure that woman is going to stare at us for all eternity now." He snorted and laughed again. "We're going to have to run from the stairs to the door before she can catch us."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and his fell around her waist as their laughter died out. "Ah, that's okay. We'll bring Ji back with us and let him charm us out of her mind."

"What about her husband?"

"No one can resist a pretty girl." She looked down at him and winked. "Seungri owes me a favour."

* * *

The next day, in the recording studio, Yongbae sat down beside Seungri, watching Daesung in the booth, with a serene smile on his face. 

"You dog!" Seungri squealed, startling Jiyong out of his creative trance and Seunghyun almost into spilling coffee all over his white clothes. 

"What?" Seunghyun questioned, having recovered enough to sip his coffee. Jiyong raised an eyebrow. 

"Yongbae got with Daesung!"

The door to the booth opened and Daesung stuck her head out, headphones around her neck. "What are you yelling about?"

"You hooked up with Yongbae!"

"We're dating now, yeah." Yongbae pushed the maknae off him. "But we didn't hook up."

Daesung made a face. "Get your head out of the gutter, Seungri."

"You're so classless." Jiyong muttered, turning back to the soundboard. He activated the booth mic. "Okay, Daesung, one more time."

Seunghyun chuckled, patting Yongbae's shoulder. "Dinner's on me tonight, as congratulations."

* * *

All in all, the news went over well. There was fallout, of course. Fans went crazy, split down the middle in an online war. The media made up all different kinds fo stories on the state of their relationship, but that was expected. There would always be rumours of scandal, even when there was none, circling a group as well known as Bigbang.

Still, three weeks after the drop of the  _MADE_  album, Daesung and Yongbae had another incident with the elderly couple down the hall. 

They'd managed to avoid them, mostly by sleeping at YG during the album completion, but as Yongbae was unlocking their door, still dressed in the shining outfits from their last tv appearance, a small shout startled them. 

A little girl, no more than eight years old, rushed them, sticking herself to Daesung's leg. 

The girl's grandmother, their neighbour, made a revolted sound in the back of her throat. "Get off that nasty woman."

Daesung flinched at the words, but the girl held tighter. "No! You didn't tell me you lived next to Daesung and Taeyang!"

The elderly woman blinked. "Who?"

"Daesung and Taeyang! From Bigbang! Don't you remember them from the posters in my room?" The little girl looked up at the woman she clung to. "You're my bias, Daesung! You're so cool and so strong! Plus your smile and you laugh always make me smile and laugh too! And your hair is so pretty!"

"Heh, thanks!" Daesung knelt, careful not to disturb the girl too much. "You're really pretty too!"

"I saw on the magazines that you and Taeyang are dating now."

Daesung grinned. "Yes, we are."

The girl looked up at Yongbae, then leaned into Daesung's ear. "You chose well."

Daesung covered her mouth to stop the laugh that was bubbling, but nodded. "I'd say."

She moved over to Yongbae and slapped his thigh. "Be good to Daesung!"

Yongbae smiled down at her, stroking over her hair. "I will. I promise."

"Be extra-special good!" The girl warned before patting him and smiling up at Daesung. "I have to go, so have a good day, Daesunggie!"

"You too, sweetheart!'

The girl walked back over to her grandparents and left with a wave. They waved back, and when she was gone, looked at each other. 

"And I was so looking forwards to getting Seungri into a dress." Daesung sighed. 


	4. Dog Tags

The silence was deafening. 

Seunghyun was the only one standing, his hand slowly falling away from the letter. 

"Holy shit." Seungri broke the silence first, his voice cracking and fading out on the last word. Jiyong stared blankly at it. Yongbae didn't know how to feel. Slowly, Daesung stood, walking around the table to wrap her arms around her hyung's neck. 

"You'll be fine." She whispered, voice raspier than normal, almost wispish, like smoke disappearing into a winter night. "We'll be here for you."

He closed his eyes, ducking his face into her shoulder. His arms were shaking as they wrapped around her, tightening desperately once his hands met the material of her shirt. A harsh sob broke out of him, pulling her impossibly tighter, as if she could shield him. "I'm so scared, dongsaeng. So fucking scared."

The other three flinched, Daesung only tightening her hold on him, rubbing down his back and stroking his hair. Seunghyun wasn't an unemotional person, but to have him admit something like this, and so easily . . . Daesung held him to her. "It's okay. We're here, hyung."

Yongbae looked from the letter to the woman Seunghyun was crying on. Not a little over ten years ago they'd started, but it felt like yesterday. Ten years in a day, two in an hour . . . He had two years left with her before he had to go too, then two lost from them. Two years, and the countdown started now. He can only imagine the terror that snuck up on Seunghyun, seeing on paper his timer was done. 

_**Regarding the enlistment of Choi Seunghyun into the military of South Korea . . .** _

* * *

That January seen the Choi family and the remenants of Bigbang standing together outside the tarmac. 

The group stood by respectfully as his family wished him well and cried, not wanting him to go, but knowing there was no way around it. 

When he turned to them, Jiyong had his head bowed, trying valiantly to hide his tears. Seungri didn't bother. Yongbae felt sick, but offered eye contact. Daesung was the only one who was smiling, even though it was watery. She moved up to him and wrapped him tightly in a hug.

"You'll do fine, hyung." She said, voice straining against a break. "Everything will be okay. Ten years passed so quick for us, these two should be easy." She smiled again, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Plus this means you're the first one done."

He chuckled weakly, passing her the keys to his house. "Take care for me, will you?"

"Of course, hyung." She pushed the keys into her pocket and stepped back, discreetly dabbing at her eyes. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for my older brother."

He ducked his head with a chuckle, only to be almost knocked over by Seungri.

"Fine, you win! I'll change my name! You can be the only Seunghyun in Bigbang. I'll just be Seungri, or even another Daesung if you want."

Seunghyun laughed, tears falling from his eyes as he hugged the maknae. "You can hold the title until I come back, sound good?"

The younger nodded, stepping back and wiping his face. Yongbae stepped up and hugged his elder. 

"I'm going to miss you, hyung. Do well, okay?"

"I will."

Jiyong still hadn't looked up, not quite knowing what he wanted to say, how he wanted to say it or if he wanted to speak at all. 

"Jiyong?"

The smaller man broke the moment Seunghyun's arms wrapped around him. He stuffed his face into his chest, desperately trying to muffle himself and keep composure in front of his bandmates - he was the leader, this was how it was supposed to be. He had to hold himself together, dammit. 

"Just give me a year." Jiyong breathed, voice too broken and fragmented with grief to project much louder. "Give me a year and I'll join you."

"I'll be waiting." Seunghyun whispered back, patting his best friend on the back.

"Dammit." Jiyong hissed, scrubbing at his eyes. "I'm supposed to be telling  _you_  it's going to be okay, not the other way around."

"Finish that album of yours. I want you to bring a copy of it to listen to when I see you next." Seunghyun winked, letting the younger man go. He looked between all of them, a melancholy smile on his lips. "I'll be watching."

He grabbed his bag and entered the building with one last wave. 

* * *

* * *

The year ran by quickly. Too quickly, for Jiyong. Soon enough, he was the one faced with the letter. 

He was just staring at it in the recording studio when Daesung entered, stopping in her tracks as soon as she laid eyes on him. "Hyung?"

"It's the end of November already, Dae." He whispered. "I leave in just over a month to join Seunghyun."

She sat down slowly beside him, a careful distance between them. "At least you won't be alone."

He nodded slowly. He looked lost in his own world, but not the same blankness that overcame him when he could hear a song no one else was privy to. At length, he spoke again. 

"I'm not finished the album."

She met his gaze. "Duet?"

* * *

Jiyong hugged them first, wishing them the best and vice versa, their goodbyes brief. He'd cried enough over this during recording. 

It wasn't easy watching him go, head already shaved and a simple duffel bag in one hand. He smiled wistfully back at them before the doors closed, but then, he'd never been happy leaving anything incomplete before in his life. Especially if it was something of his own.

"I wish he'd have let me hug him longer." Seungri said, settling into the back of Daesung's car. She gave a small, secretive smile as she passed him back an unmarked CD.

"Take a listen when you get home."

Yongbae raised an eyebrow, but she only smiled at him. 

"I've already got ours at home, don't worry."

* * *

Seungri's hand was shaking as he pressed the play button. 

Piano underlayed with drums started in the silent space. It was easy the old piano solo Yongbae had performed once for Jiyong, recorded in studio, paired with the drumming which rang clearly of Daesung's rhythm. And when Jiyong started to sing, his signature nasally quality reduced, he could hear himself and Seunghyun in the background, humming along with the piano. 

It wasn't difficult for him to understand Jiyong's theme, either. It wasn't obvious - nothing Jiyong ever did was straightforward, let alone music - but Seungri liked to think he could disect his leader's mind. Daesung was the first to understand  _Loser_ , but he was a close second. Listening to the crack of his leader's voice in this track - God, it made him cringe. He knew the other man wasn't ready or willing, he sympathized with every agonized whisper at the end of the chorus, every unsure shake of his voice. 

_"I can only leave it to later for so long,/ only let it be for right now./ But my future isn't too far ahead of me,/ time doing nothing but pushing me closer./ So that's where I'll go,/ keep all of my tears to myself,/ leave all the pretending behind,/ and sing, sing, sing,/ even when others can't hear me./ I've gotta keep singing, no matter what,/ because I'll come back soon,/ to where all of my music is."_

The piano and drums faded to the sounds of them laughing, giggling drunkenly together over a dinner Seungri couldn't remember so well. He had always known his leader was a thoughtful man, always knew that the depth of Jiyong came from his emotions and his ability to see right into his bandmates' souls. He knew Bigbang was his second family, but hearing all of them laugh and joke so easily, the memory playing before his eyes . . . 

"That's as good a message as any, I think." He whispered to himself. He was poised to make a sarcastic remark to the open air, but the knot in his chest stopped him. Those were words he would regret, even if only he knew about them. So, he hit play one more time on the one-track CD and hummed along, soothing away his worry into music.

* * *

* * *

That November, Daesung gathered them at Seunghyun's villa, which she had taken good care of, and made dinner. When the front door opened, the other two looked up curiously to see Seunghyun.

He was very different, to say the least. His hair was gone, his skin darker and rougher, and he was in fatigues. However, as soon as he saw them, he broke out grinning. "You're here?!"

Daesung appeared from the kitchen, auburn tresses flicking at her forearm as she moved, wrapping him in a tight hug. "Welcome back, hyung!"

He laughed, picking her up and spinning her. "Ah, I've missed you guys so much!"

"Ya! Put me down!" She giggled. "Come, sit down. I'm making dinner. but don't tell any stories yet! I want to hear them too!"

* * *

* * *

Yongbae came home from the grocery store to find Daesung sitting ont he kitchen counter, staring at a very familiar letter. 

"Daesung?"

She didn't look like she'd been crying, but she was always hard to read when it came to negative emotions. She'd learned to mask them so early on, after all. "I've really got nothing to say."

He set the bags down and took her hand, the other hidden underneath the table. "Tell me what's on your mind."

She met his gaze and shrugged, face void. "There's nothing. I knew it was coming, now it has.You were always after Jiyong. That's all there is."

He knew she wasn't indifferent about his leaving. Most nights, she slept curled up next to him. She cleaned, cooked, sang, danced, lived and loved alongside him. Over the years, they had consumed each other's small worlds, as naturally as breathing. He knew she was broken up about it - she'd been emotional with all the others and she would be with Seungri, her only dongsaeng - but something in his heart twitched at her lack of external emotion. Was it selfish of him to want her to cry for him? To expect her to be sad, maybe even miserable in the leadup to hid departure? It sure sounded that way when he thought about it. 

"When did the letter get here?" He asked. 

"Early this morning. Before you left."

He cocked his head at her, thumbs stroking over her knuckles. He swallowed, ducking his head. "I don't know what to say."

"Neither do I." Her voice had lost some of its firmness, like she was losing control of herself. Her other hand, her left, came up and pushed a simple sterling silver band into his line of sight. There was a matching one on her ring finger. 

_Promise rings . . . She . . . God save me._

"Will you wear it?' She whispered. 

He lurched up from the chair and kissed her as if the simple gesture could convey the bursting in his heart. "I love you, Daesung. You didn't even have to ask."

She smiled up at him, gently taking the ring and sliding it onto his matching finger. She let out a long breath, sobering up into her regular, cheerful self. "Okay. What did you get for dinner?"

* * *

Seungri was worried. Since the hyungs had started to leave, he'd grown very close to Daesung. She was there for him when Seunghyun left, helped him record his new album when Jiyong left, had held him together when Seunghyun had come home and was taking the departure of her lover suspiciously well. He didn't trust it. She was a sterling actor when she wanted to be, and all the smiles she wore today were terrifyingly non-descript. He couldn't tell what brought the smiles, if there was any emotion in them, if she was hiding behind them like she used to her hair. It made him ill just thinking about it. Worst of all, he could tell Yongbae noticed as well. The new promise rings they were wearing spoke well enough of their feelings, but Daesung's sheer lack of self was something that unsettled everyone there. 

"It's not as bad as it seems. Plus you're already fit. It's not going to be easy, but it's far from a nightmare." Seunghyn smiled as he hugged his dongsaeng. "You'll do fine."

"Thanks, hyung."

"Tell Ji that Daesung hasn't killed his fish, either." Seunghyun winked and backed off, letting Seungri take over the hug. 

"I don't even know why I'm upset, honestly." He pouted. "I realized yesterday that I'm going to go through my two years alone. You're an ass."

Yongbae couldn't help but laugh. "How is that my fault?"

"It just is." He frowned harder. "You're so lucky, you know. You look good with a shaved head. I'm going to look like I have a small brain."

"Then everyone will see the truth."

Seungri was silent for a long moment before he punched the other man's arm. "You just sassed me! You're not allowed to sass! That's my job!"

"Okay, okay." Seunghun chuckled, pulling the maknae back. "Let's let them have a moment alone, okay? He's going to miss her more than us after all."

"Daesung gets all the favouritism now. Eugh. When Yongbae comes back, I'm going to be a girl too."

Seunghyun snorted. "You tried heels once. You almost broke your ankle."

"Daesung doesn't wear heels!"

"She actually dances, not whatever flail it is you do onstage."

"Says Bingu TOP."

As the other two left to sit in Daesung's car, Yongbae took her hands. 

"I'm going to miss you."

She smiled wider, but not brighter. "Not as much as I am."

He stroked over her cheek. "Our two years went by so fast, Dae. These will be just as fast. Plus you'll get Ji back next November."

She pursed her lips, looking down, before she came back with a stronger smile, some steel will keeping the tears from her eyes. "I know. It's going to be quick. Plus we can Skype if you get the chance."

He kissed her softly, holding her close. "I expect to be mailed your promotional posters and a copy of that new album you're working on."

She chuckled. "I promise."

He kissed her again, this time longer, sweeter. "I love you, Daesung."

"I love you more, Yongbae." Her fingers slid over his temple and down his jaw. "My beautiful Taeyang."

They smiled at each other, both timid and unsure. "Will you be here when I come back?"

"Where else would I be?"

* * *

If Seungri hadn't wrestled Seunghyun out of the front seat, he didn't think he would have noticed. 

Daesung was completely silent the whole ride home, but they hadn't expected any differently. He was her lover, and giving him away to the military wasn't anything like watching her friends leave. She didn't live with the rest of them, the silence wasn't going to resonate in their homes the same way it was going to in her own. Not to mention all of the hints of Yongbae lingering within the walls, from his shampoo in the shower to the clothes yet to be folded in their laundry room. The very necklace she had draped round her neck, the jacket she was wearing still lingering with his cologne. All of this was what Seungri expected from her, the thoughts to be roaming in her head. Even still, the tear tracks highlighted in the city's evening lights startled him. She didn't wipe them away, didn't acknowledge their existence, didn't allow herself to recognize them. She kept on driving, face stoic and unmoving, eyes flickering and body still. 

If not for the tears, he wouldn' have been able to tell she was sad at all. Maybe that was what scared him the most. She was such a freely emotional person unless something hit her in an area that she was too sensitive to. She hid her insecurities from cameras, from her family, from  _them_ and didn't let anyone understand when insults, be they accidental or on purpose, affected her nor when she felt, dweep inside herself, that she was too ugly for her fame, undeserving of her talent and her success. 

Seungri didn't often feel pity or sympathy, being on the recieving end of such hurts as much as every other idol, but he felt it rise in his gut for Daesung. But he knew that when she was like this, denying herself the ability to feel, that the last thing she wanted was someone picking at the cracks in her facade. The conflicting desires felt like they were tearing his chest apart - he wanted to leave her alone, knowing what it felt like to be the prey, and the other side wanted to cuddle up with her and let her cry until she had nothing left to cry about. 

The car came to a stop and she looked over at him with a smile that didn't close her eyes, didn't even reach them. "Have a good night, Seungri."

The words caught in his throat, so he settled for a nod and a return smile. "Goodnight, Daesung."

He felt sick as he watched her drive off, paced and even like the rest of the traffic. Controlled, uneventful. The feeling only intensified once he was inside his home, immediately going and clicking the play button on his stereo. The piano and drums rolled, Jiyong's smooth singing voice, their background laughter. He tried not to throw up as he let he soothing message of the song roll over him, quell the nausea.

Once his nerves settled, he laid down on his bed, exhausted. If she wanted his help, or any help, he promised himself to be the first one there. The same way she was when Jiyong left. It was his turn to repay the favour. 


	5. D-Lite

Daesung was many, many things. Cowardly was not one of them. 

Seunghyun had decided to take a year off from his music, try to write some of his own tracks, maybe, but mostly wind down and get himself reacquainted with the idea of being a musical creator rather than simply an audience. Seungri, with Yongbae and Daesung's help, had finished his album and was working on his press for it. Daesung, however, has spent all the time she had planned for her own album working with Jiyong or Seungri, sometimes even just singing to Yongbae's piano because they had the studio and they could. Or they were dancing together, backups in Jiyong's mini album videos or working choreography for Seungri, even though he didn't particularly dance much.

Now, with all this new time for herself and her apartment too empty for her liking, Daesung had taken up Jiyong's place as a permanent resident of Bigbang's recording studio in the YG building. The oldest and youngest members had found her more than once slumped over the soundboard, tucked into a crevasse in the sound booth or at odd angles over her drums. They wouldn't have minded caring for her like this if there had been any evidence of  _progress_. More often than not, they cleaned up Jiyong when he was like this, lost in a creative daze he didn't come out of for months. But he left half-mixed tracks and incomplete or disgarded songs laying all around the studio, waste baskets piled with disgarded papers, crumpled together with messy hangul strewn about the white surface. Daesung left nothing like that, not even recordings of whatever she had going on in her head were left in the machines. 

"Do you think she's lost it?" Seungri asked one evening as he helped Seunghyun adjust Daesung into a comfortable position on the studio's couch. 

"I don't know." The elder replied, brows furrowed in worry. 

"I don't think its good for her health." Seungri added, brushing some hair away from her mouth. She had braided it earlier, probably to keep it out of her face, but it had long since come out. "I almost want to stop her."

"No."

The maknae raised a sarcastic eyebrow at the elder. "Aaaand why not?"

His brows furrowed harder. "I don't know what's she's doing or what she's planning, but  _something's there_  and if we interrupt it, it's only going to gnaw at her harder. Remember the last time we tried to restrain Jiyong?"

"Yeah, but that's  _Ji._  That's just how he  _operates_. Daesung isn't like this."

"Maybe not." Seunghyun smiled a little, the smudged permanent marker on Daesung's wrist peeking out at him from under her jacket sleeve. "But D-Lite might be a different story."

"What the hell does that mean?" Seungri barked before he followed his hyung's eyes. He knelt and pulled the sleeve completely away before his eyes widened, Daesung huffing softly in her exhaustion-induced coma. " _Ooooh._ "

* * *

It was two months of basic before Yongbae got assigned his unit and was pleasantly surprised to see Jiyong there. His skin was darker, his hair it's natural black even close shaven and he looked a little crazier, if better rested. Maybe military sleep schedules would actually do their crazy dragon some good. 

"Yongbae! What a day this is!" The older man laughed, throwing his arms around him. "So good to see you!"

Yongbae hugged him back, smiling. "Good to see you too, Ji."

It didn't take his leader too long to notice the sterling silver ring dangling next to his dog tags. "And that is?"

Yongbae fingered the metal fondly. "My promise ring to Daesung."

Jiyong punched him in the arm, the fondness he felt for the elder only slightly subduing the sting of the strike. "Right on! You actually put a ring on that!"

Yongbae flushed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Kinda the other way around, actually."

"You made her put a ring on  _you_? Man . . . " He whistled, then laughed. "Well, there's one way of getting her to admit her feelings."

Yongbae shrugged. "I'm the one who has to ask her to marry me."

Jiyong laughed. "I hope so." He smiled, but then blinked. " . . . Are you planning to ask her to marry you once you're out of here?"

Yongbae smiled softly at the ring. "Yeah."

"Oh shit, you're serious." Jiyong's shock almost bordered on horrified and Yongbae didn't know whether to be offended or not. "Does she have any idea?"

"I was planning to surprise her with it, so no."

"Well, I suppose of there's ever a test to see if she's willing to marry you, waiting for two years certainly is it."

Yongbae didn't quite know how to take that, considering the radio silence he'd recieved from Daesung since he'd left. 

* * *

Seunghyun and Seungri entered the studio with food only to find no one. The place was clean, with the lights off and everything put away, the soundboard reset. 

"Daesung?" Seunghyun called, flicking the lights on. "Daesung, are you here?"

"You just missed her."

Spinning around, the two men saw Sandara Park standing in the doorway.

"Do you know where she went?" Seungri asked. 

"Said she was going to see a designer. I think she's working on concept outfits for her album."

"I told you she was doing work." Seunghyun muttered.

"How the hell was I supposed to tell?"

Sandara shook her head. "You're both stupid. You're the only bandmates in all of existence that could show up at the only times when she's  _not_  working."

* * *

"How does it feel?"

Yongbae looked over at the man beside his bunk. "What do you mean?"

"I heard you talking to Corporal Kwon. You got a girl back home?"

He smiled softly to himself, fingering the ring once more. "Yeah, I do."

"What's her name?"

"Daesung. Kang Daesung."

"Odd name for a girl."

"A little." Yongbae admitted, rolling onto his side to better face his companion. "Daesung is very different from most girls. Almost the exact opposite of what I thought my ideal type was."

"Really? How did you fall for her, then?"

"I don't know, really. We've been in the same group so long it's a miracle I recognized her for what she is at all."

"Oh, are you an idol?"

"Taeyang."

"Oh! From Bigbang? Like Corporal Kwon?"

"Yeah."

"And Daesung . . . You mean D-Lite?"

"Exactly the girl."

"I could see how she wouldn't be your ideal type. Too muscly for me. I prefer a more petite girl, myself. Like Minzy from 2NE1."

* * *

For the next month, no one could find Daesung. Not the 2NE1 girls, who she had become better friends with since Jiyong left and she got the studio to herself, nor her other bandmates. According to a Skype session with Jiyong and Yongbae, she hadn't called them either. 

"Dammit, where did she go?" Seungri hissed, gripping the wheel angrily. 

"I'm worried about her too, but we shouldn't chase her down like this." Seunghyun said from the passenger seat.

"She's scaring me and I can't take it anymore." He parked the car in the most aggressive manner Seunghyun had ever seen and marched himself up to Daesung's apartment. Opening it with the spare key Seunghyun had been given, he was greeted to a silent, dark apartment. Flicking on the lights, the layer of dust hit them. She hadn't been here in a while. "Where the hell did she go?!"

There was a small knock on the doorframe and the two stars looked back at a young girl. "Do you mean Daesunggie?"

"Yes. Do you know where she went?" Seunghyun replied before Seungri's foul mouth could get the better of him. 

"She said she was going to Japan for a week, then to the America."

"You mean the United States?" Seunghyun asked, kneeling to her level.

"I guess." The girl shrugged. "She gave me her plants and asked me to water them for her until she came back. Once she comes back, she's bringing me to the dance studio to teach me Taeyang's dances, since he's not here anymore."

"Do you live in this building?"

The girl nodded. "Down the hall, with my grandparents. Mom and Dad both have to travel a lot to work, so they leave me here until they come back to Korea. Granny didn't really like me hanging out with Daesung and Taeyang because she said they were 'dirty', but she likes them now because of how nice they are to me. I hope Taeyang comes back soon - I've memorized the songs he gave me to learn on the piano."

"Oh my God, they've already adopted a child." Seungri burst out, disappearing deeper into the vacant apartment to have his own meltdown.

* * *

"What's got you down?" Jiyong plopped down beside him, casting him a raised eyebrow. "You're always quiet, but not like this."

Yongbae frowned as he stroked his promise ring. "I haven't heard from Daesung."

"She's probably working. She was planning on an album before I left, so I'm not surprised that she would be lost in it now."

"Seungri and Seunghyun said she's not even in Korea anymore and she's not answering her phone. They don't even know what country she's in."

Jiyong frowned at him. "What's your real issue here? Do you not trust her anymore . . . ?"

Yongbae shrugged. "I really, really want to say she'd never do that to me, that we love each other more than that, and my heart agrees with that, but my mind just won't let the worry be."

Jiyong nodded slowly. "I can understand that. It's difficult, way more to do than to say, but try to listen more to your heart. It knows Daesung better than your mind ever can. After all, that's what she gave herself to, isn't it?"

* * *

That July, when Yongbae and Jiyong returned from drill, there were several packages on Yongbae's bed and a small letter. 

_Dear Yongbae,_

_I'm sorry I haven't called you or spoken to really anybody, but I've been really busy these last months. You don't have to worry about me, I promise. I hope your time in the miltary is going well. If you see Jiyong, tell him hi for me, okay? And, if you Skype with Seunghyun and Seungri, tell them to stop calling me. I swear I'm okay, I just don't have time right now. I hope you like what I've given you, though. :)_

_Yours,_

_Daesunggie_

Gently, he put the note under his pillow and moved to the packages. The first one he opened was a cardboard tube. It was obviously a poster, but he hadn't been expecting to see Daesung on it. 

"Ji, come help me."

The two men rolled the poster flat on the ground, the other man in the barracks coming to take a look. 

Daesung was the centre of the poster against the backdrop of the sea. She was soaked, the rich auburn cherrywood of her hair only shining because of the sunset. Her lips were an icy pale pink, her eyes rimmed in dark black and flared around the edges. She had on black ripped jeans, a black breastband and a black denim jacket with was caught around her arms. On the right thigh of her jeans, near the top, was white writing that read  _D-Lite_. She was knee-deep in the surf, water sliding down her rippling abs and caressing brawny arms. A long, soaked tendril of hair fell down her face, glancing off her nose and falling to the left. She was looking straight at the camera, posed like she was walking out of the sea rather than into it. Shimmering with pre-dusk fire, she wore her promise ring, her other hand tangled around his thick golden chain. Across the bottom of the poster there was only one word. 

_T A E Y A N G_

"And what did I tell you?" Jiyong said smugly from beside him, elbowing him. "Huh?"

"That your girl, Yongbae?" One of the other soldiers asked.

"Yeah." He answered breathlessly, grinning like an idiot down at the poster. She had sent him this. Purposefully. Knowing where he was, what he was facing. And his stage name . . . 

"Open the next one." Jiyong prompted and thrust another package into his hands. 

This one was small, but he opened it anyway only to see a CD. The cover was another picture from whatever shoot Daesung had been doing in the poster, but she was laying down in the sand this time, hair still plastered to her, on a partial angle to show off her name on her pants. And along the bottom, in the same white font as before:

_T A E Y A N G_

He would definitely listen to it later, shoving it under his pillow to rest with the letter. The next package was a collection of photographs, large enough to pick out details, but small enough not to be a bother, like the poster. Most of them were of the beach scene, her in various positions at various times of day, sometimes wetter than others but mostly soaked. In one, she was more in the surf than the sand, facing the camera with a smouldering, half-lidded gaze as she was arching erotically into the sky, mouth parted just enough to see blackness. It was in that picture that he figured out that there was a name on the other thigh too, embroidered in dark grey and in the crease where hip met thigh:  _SOL._

The next package was larger, another cardboard box. Opening it, he was let with a copy of the jacket Daesung was wearing in the shoot. Across the back, embroidered in white, was  _D-Lite  T A E Y A N G  Tour._

He could have cried. Her whole concept was  _him._

"Convinced she loves you yet?" Jiyong whispered, leaning over his shoulder to look at the jacket. 

He pursed his lips, but he was smiling stupidly, nodding rapidly, trying to keep back the tears. Jiyong patted him and gave him another package.

"Man, you sure mean a lot to her, don't you?"

"I can't believe you're dating D-Lite. I love her stuff."

"I didn't know D-Lite could look so good."

"At least have the courtesy to make these comment when her boyfriend isn't standing right here." Jiyong sniped. "She's wearing her promise ring in the photos and everything."

Yongbae wasn't listening. Inside the package was a rosary, hand carved out of turquoise and strung up on a leather and beadwork necklace. Daesung left him another note inside the box. 

_Dear Yongbae,_

_I've been in Canada doing my photoshoot for the new album. Did you like the pictures? They were done in Lake Erie, near Port Dover. I've been learning English here as well as working on the recording of my album, since Seungri, Seunghyun and 2NE1 won't leave me alone in the YG building. My tutor from Hamilton took me down to a native reservation, where I found this rosary. The craftsman used to live up in the Canadian Shield, where there are large deposits of these gems. I can't pray with you while we're away from each other, but this way I can be with you in spirit when you pray. I hope you like it._

_Yours,_

_Daesung_

Yongbae wiped his eyes, pressing the rosary to his heart. Jiyong's heart melted at the sight. 

"There's two more packages." He said gently.

"Yeah." Yongbae wiped at his eyes once more, shakily laying the rosary back in the small ash box it came from. "Next one?"

The next package was more pictures, this time promotional posters and cover art for the songs she would be launching as singles, of which there were four. The obvious one was  _Taeyang_ , where she was sitting on top of a building, looking out over what was probably a lake but looked like an ocean, the sunrise setting her hair on fire, the wind making it flare around her. Her eyes were closed and she looked like she was taken away in the rush of the sea, her legs folded off to the side. Her breastband for this one was solid black, his stage name emblazoned in white across it. 

The next was  _Dragon_. She was wearing an orange breast band this time, the characters in hot pink. She was being dragged back to a wall on a fourty five degree angle to the camera by two faceless men, a third waiting behind her, ready with a thick steel collar attached to a chain embedded in the wall. She was straining against them, fighting to escape their grasp. Along the outside of the image there were hints of sand, the filthy concrete wet as if lapped by waves. 

After that was _First To Go_. Her breastband was bright cyan, the word a deep indigo. She was underwater, one arm reaching up, body facing the camera, but face sideways. Arms from below, unclear and unspecific, were dragging her back down forcefully enough that her hair was waving above her, blocking out her eyes. 

The last one was called  _Last To Leave_. She lost the jacket for this one, sitting behind her in a damp mess. Sitting on a dock, facing the camera, but with her head tilted down, hair thrown over her shoulders. Her breastband was white with grey lettering. Beside her were three sets of army boots - the set closest to her were relatively simple red and black plaid with gold soles and laces, the inside a simple, warm cream. The pair next to that were a kaleidescope of colours, inside and out, with elaborate golden chains hanging off them. The farthest pair were an elegant, polished black, clean-cut white soles and laces, but were splashed with pastel purples, pinks, greens, yellows and oranges inside. Her legs were dangling off the edge of the dock and she looked forlorn, like she'd lost something to the depth of the sea that she wasn't going to get back. Her own boots were a storm-cloud grey, laces and soles a simple, matte black.

"She made singles about us." Jiyong whispered in awe, gently thumbing over his own. "We're her muses . . . "

"You guys really think she's hot?" One of the soldiers asked, peering disinterestedly at the poster.

"Isn't she?" Yongbae's bunkmate questioned back. 

"Not really. She looks like a guy."

"How so?"

"She's so muscular."

"So?"

"No one else finds it a little gross?"

"If you're going to speak ill of my girlfriend, could you keep it to yourself?" Yongbae shot across the room, silencing it. The set the pictures down and took the last package.

Inside was a hardcover handheld photoalbum, the front cover done after a picture frame. The cover photo was a printout of the Bigbang logo, their names, stage names and signatures written on it. The first photo was a group shot of their debut, followed with shots from their music videos and some memorable backstage incidents as well as personal ones. It followed through their whole career, then came four pictures of Seunghyun - just before enlistment, year one, year two, and just after enlistment. Next was Jiyong - just before enlistment, a picture he'd sent them of his first year and two blank. After that was a picture either Seunghyun or Seungri must have taken of the kiss Daesung gave him two nights before he left while they were half-drunk in a dance club. She had her arms wrapped around his neck, eyes closed and completely lost in him. He looked just as distant, holding her to him like she might disappear any other way, like she was the only person in this world worth noticing. Just the sight of that passion made his heart ache, his chest tighten with longing, but some twisting nervous jealousy deep in his soul disappear. 

Daesung was his, just as enamoured and enthralled with him as he was with her. She had gone to extraordinary lengths to prove to him that she was waiting for him, was willing to  _let_  herself be claimed by him, sure in her own love that he wouldn't start looking around for someone else just because she wasn't there. He smiled serenely at the image, stroking over the plastic slot it was held in.

"Private Dong's whipped!" One of the soldiers annouced, startling him. "He's totally whipped!"

Jiyong grinned at him as he rolled his eyes, flipping the page once more.

_Hey boys!_

_I'm not going to see you for a while yet, so I want you to fill it up for me! I wanna see it, too, when you come home!_

_Your Daesunggie~ <3_

"She's too sweet for her own good." Yongbae chuckled, passing the album to Jiyong, who snorted particularly loudly.

"Such an angel. It's actually kinda gross." He passed it back, then knelt in front of the poster. "We have to tell her how good she is in this picture, though. Total ten. Would bang."

"Ji." Yongbae scolded. 

"C'mon, she's like a little sister. You know I would never do that to a brother."

Yongbae sat back down on his bunk, rosary in one hand and unused photo proofs in the other. 

* * *

"Where is she?!" Seungri yelled, viciously dusting Daesung's tv while Seunghyun polished her coffee table.

"She already contacted Yongbae and Jiyong. You know she's in Canada. Let her do her thing. It's obviously working."

"But would it really be so hard for her to give us a phone call?! A text?! It's just inconsiderate, is all."

"How did you get in my apartment?"

They both looked up, Daesung standing in her doorway, before the maknae tackled her.

"YOU'RE ALIVE!"


	6. Falsehoods

Yongbae was curled up on his bunk, a novel Daesung sent him in one hand while the other idly fingered the rosary. It brought him peace in the evenings, like this, to feel connected to her through God like this. Now that Jiyong was gone, his final year finished and his third picture added to the album, being able to carry a piece of Daesung with him made him feel connected. He wondered, though, how Seunghyun had made it through the first year so alone. Maybe Daesung had sent him presents too. She was adorable like that, always trying to keep a smile on everyone's faces even in the darkest of times, even when she had trouble giving one to herself.

His serenity was broken, however, by one of the nastier soldiers in the barracks leaning against his bedframe, his bunkmate peering over the edge curiously. Hunshik had become a good friends after Jiyong left almost three months ago, the pair inseperable ever since.

"I was hoping to find you here." The soldier, Leewon, grinned, twisting his face into some ugly passive aggressive malice. "You heard from your girl?"

Yongbae ran his thumb over the rosary's cross, the stone cool under his skin. "No. She's been busy."

"That's for damn sure." Leewon's grin widened. "And certainly not on you."

Hunshik scowled. "What the hell does  _that_  mean?"

Leewon just shrugged. "I'm just reporting the headlines I've been seeing on the news. Apparently she couldn't take the wait."

Yongbae made no move to get up, didn't clench the rosary in his fist or grit his teeth. He blinked up at the man. "You do realize that I've been an idol for a long time and I know all the tricks the media has to offer, right?"

His grin melted a little, fire getting ice water dumped on it, but he clearly wasn't done. "Do they usually have video?"

Yongbae shrugged. "Video is misleading. Styles and hair change all the time. It's not hard to immitate someone else, especially if the quality isn't that good."

Leewon shrugged again. "Listen or don't listen, see or don't see, I don't care. When you go back home and find her lips wrapped around some other guy's dick, you'll know I wasn't lying to you."

Hunshik nailed him in the forehead with a boot. "Fuck off, Leewon."

Yongbae just looked back down at his novel, caressing the warmed stone gently.

* * *

When Daesung answered the door, she looked hagard. Hair all askew, breathing heavy, face flushed.

"Seungri? What are you doing here this late at night?"

The maknae crossed his arms at her. "I know you don't look at the media, but if you're actually having an affair, you're doing a piss-poor job of hiding it."

"A- . . . " Her voice dropped and she spoke the word like it was poison. "Affair?"

"Yeah." He looked her up and down, noting that she was only wearing a long shirt to cover herself.

She ran a hand through her hair, got caught on knots, and settled for pushing it out of her face. She pulled him in and closed the door before turning on him. "Is that what you're here for? To accuse me?"

"I prefer the term 'question', but yes."

"And you're serious about this?"

"Damn right I am."

She stared at him for a long moment, then walked into the kitchen. Seungri followed her and watched her throw back a shot of Yongbae's favourite vodka. She didn't wince at the burn, but then, the two of them had gotten drunk together more than once. 

"You came here to actually question if I'm cheating on Yongbae."

"Good. You're listening."

She threw back another shot. "Then get the fuck out."

 . . . That wasn't what he was expecting. "Excuse me?"

"You came here, to my home, in the middle of the night, to accuse me of whoring myself out because Yongbae's gone, then you can walk yourself right back out that door and keep a healthy distance between us for at least a month."

"You don't get to make threats when you disappear for months without explaining yourself then answering the door looking like I interrupted your lover! When you don't call Yongbae ever and suddenly, you're super distanced from the group. Jiyong just got home and he  _never_  sees you. You only got like this after Yongbae left and if that's not downright suspicious, I don't know what is."

He could barely see her face, but she was scowling something fierce. "You have some nerve to act like you're my father. Like I  _owe_  you anything, like I'm some know-nothing who can't function on her own, can't even stay  _faithful_  without being always fucking  _watched_."

He didn't know what she was getting at, but he didn't like it, and he was quick to make that clear. "You're not making a very good case that you  _don't_."

She placed the shot glass in the sink, the bottle back in the cupboard, then turned to him. Her hair shadowed much of her face in the moonlit apartment, but her fury shone darker. "You have a minute to leave."

"I'm not leaving until I get a fucking straight answer from you."

Seungri never claimed to be the smartest man in the world, nor the most careful. Perhaps if he was, it wouldn't have hurt his pride and his ass so much when Daesung picked him up, opened the door and  _threw_  him into the hallway, promptly locking the door behind her and leaving him to the pain ringing through his body and the silence.

* * *

Jiyong had reclaimed the recording studio a month after he returned, when he'd had a chance to listen to all the old work he'd almost completed polishing with Daesung. As such, it wouldn't have been much of a surprise to find him there, even if Seunghyun hadn't asked for him help in the fine-tuning of his newest single. Seungri was there too, doing the pre-record layout singing that the artist working with Seunghyun would base their work off of.

But Daesung's appearance  _was_ a surprise. She was in all black; boots, jeans,belt, tee shirt. Her hair was done up in a high ponytail, her bangs will loose to flutter about her face. She quickly moved to the back of the room, sitting as deeply as she could in the farthest corner, pulled out a songbook, and began to write. She wasn't wearing makeup, her skin pale and obviously sleepless, her eyes pinkish like she had stopped crying a few hours before she came here. 

In the light of day, Seungri felt bad. He knew he shouldn't have ambushed her like that, should have approached her like the adult she was - his  _senior_ , for fuck's sake - instead of blindly throwing accusations her way.

He walked over to her, wringing his hands, but stopped before he got within punching distance. If there was one lesson last night had taught him, it was that Daesung's muscles weren't only for show. "Look, Daesung-"

"I'm not interested." She replied, brisque and biting, not even looking up from the paper. 

"I need to apolo-"

"You don't." She erased a character and rewrote it differently.

"I need to-"

"Seunghyun, there is nothing left to say." She was calm, voice iced only with indifference as she continued to write. The chill his given name sent spiralling down his spine made him back up, to leave her alone there.

Both Jiyong and Seunghyun were silent as they watched the encounter. Slowly, as to not break the silence, Seunghyun exited the recording booth. He tossed Jiyong a look and the younger nodded. He paced over to her, setting a comforting hand on her iron-stiff shoulder. "I'm going to get coffee. Want to come help me carry them?"

She placed her book to the side, along with her pencil, and stood. "Let's go."

* * *

Yongbae knew who was leaving the newspapers and magazine articles on his bed, who opened his laptop and left youtube videos up for him to watch. Even with all of it infront of him and the cultprit obvious, he refused to give into Leewon's games. He hadn't read any of the articles, only seen enough of the videos to discern the low quality and pixellation for himself. 

_Daesung - A CHEATER! How she sneaks around on Taeyang_

_GROUPMATES WORRIED - Daesung in danger of STDs_

_ALONE AND PREGNANT - Who's Daesung's baby daddy?_

_CAUGHT ON TAPE - Daesung cheating with childhood friend!_

_BETRAYED - Groupmates horrified at Daesung's cheating_

_DRUGS, BOOZE AND SEX - Kang Daesung's secret party life_

He just threw out the clippings. Of course thoughts like these had surfaced, and he had been unsure of Daesung's ability to keep to herself at the beginning of his service tenure, but when he reflected on those worries now, his heart was silent, content in its own knowledge of Daesung's loyalty. His mind had been doubtful since he left, but that was easy to ignore. He knew it wasn't his own skeptism of her affection, but how other people reflected on him. He loved her and she loved him. In all the pictures of her, her promise ring was unhindered and visible, even if she was looking more than a little worn down. He could only imagine the media storm she was getting nailed with. 

Daesung had avoided the media for a long time because of the nasty remarks on her looks. The practise had never left her and she didn't approach it without incentive first. Having it forced down her throat now was probably anything but helpful and any host of any show she would go on to promote her album would immediately question her on it. Yongbae knew how fake the 'evidence' was, how suspect it looked, but the public was fickle. It would be hard to defend herself until he came back and it bothered him that it was their relationship that was doing her damage now, how he couldn't be there to protect her. 

Hunshik  _tsk_ ed when he seen the articles scattered across the sheets. "Are you okay, Yongbae?"

He picked up one of the new articles, headlining once more how Daesung apparently was running around on him. In the picture though, she just looked torn apart. Her caramel skin was pale, her makeup wasn't hiding her bags very well and she was dressed simply, even for her, clothes baggier to hide an obvious weight loss.

"I wish I could be there."

"To see for yourself?"

"To protect her from this." He stroked over her face, frowning at the stress she was carrying. "She doesn't deserve this just because I'm gone."

Hunshik nodded, gathering the articles and throwing them out. "Maybe you should Skype her. She might be able to pick up your call."

"I'll call her tonight, so she'll have her laptop." He tossed the picture out, searing the image of her sickly form out of his head with her poster, hanging above his bedside table. "God, I miss her."

* * *

Seunhyun was never particularly good with emotions, but Daesung's silence was chilling. 

"Is this because of what the media keep saying?"

She sighed, hand falling away from the cup she held, the other going to cover her eyes as she struggled for composure. He wrapped his arms around her unthinkingly, letting her curl into his chest and hide, muffling her sobs in her hands. 

"Wanna come to my house tonight?" He whispered, stroking her hair. "We'll get your laptop and Skype Yongbae."

She regained control of herself and nodded, grabbing a nearly napkin to dry her face enough to make a dash back to the recording studio. "Y-Yeah. Thanks, hyung."

"I'm not very good with emotions, but you can tell me whatever you need to say."

She smiled weakly and nodded mutely. 

He patted her back. "Want to cool down in the dance studio for a moment?"

She nodded again and he led the way there, arm wrapped around her shoulder. 

* * *

The instant the door closed, Jiyong rounded on Seungri and he was  _scary_.

" _What did you do?_ " The smaller man hissed.

"Hyung?" Seungri didn't mean for his voice to come out so weak.

Jiyong had certainly come back crazier from his service and now he looked ready to kill. He was even trained to now. "I'm only repeating myself once:  _What did you do to Daesung?_ "

"I went to speak to her last night."

"About  _what_?"

" . . . Yongbae."

Jiyong was terrifyingly still for a long moment before he jumped over the couch and had him by the shirt. "What did you say?"

His voice was lost in his throat.

"So help me God, Seungri,  _what did you say_?"

"I asked her if she was cheating on Yongbae."

He expected a beating, probably deserved one, but Jiyong just let him go, slumping down onto the couch and looking up at him in horror. 

"I thought she was." Seungri whispered, staring down at his feet to avoid Jiyong's judgemental stare. "She was acting so out of character, sneaking around and not talking to anyone. I still don't know if she is or not. She literally threw me out of her apartment last night."

Jiyong's laugh was harsh and bitter. "Good."

"DIdn't it ever occur to you? That they might be right?"

"Seungri, sit down." The maknae followed the order, nervously meeting Jiyong's eyes. He was the opposite of the rage monster he was a moment ago, looking at him with the kind of small, fond smile he gave him in the trainee days when he got too frustrated with himself. "Do you honestly think that Daesung would mess with Yongbae's heart like that? That she would betray one of her best friends?"

Seungri was wringing his hands again, the watch Daesung had bought him for his birthday catching the light. 

"She's taken the lead since I left, working on her solo album on top of that. You told me yourself that she helped you make your solo album. After all these years of taking care of me after albums, you'd think you'd recognize all of the stress she's under." Jiyong leant forward, lightly patting the maknae's knee. "And how lonely she is without him."

"And you don't think that she would find comfort in someone else because of that?"

"It's because she feels so strongly that she can't even if she wanted to. All she can do is try to drown it out in work." Then the leader cocked his head. "She never told you about all the things she sent him, did she?"

"She sent him things?"

Jiyong smiled fondly, shaking his head. "Of course she did. She loves him."

"Tell me, and be honest." Seungri said, taking his leader's hand. "Am I still human or am I complete sentient shit now?"

Jiyong laughed and ruffled his hair. "Shit."

"Thought so."

"I'll talk to her. Just leave it alone for a week, then talk to her."

"Okay, hyung."

"Some aegyo couldn't hurt either. Super aegyo and no sass."

"Noted."

* * *

Leewon just happened to be in the room when the open Skype on Yongbae's laptop started to blink with a call. Yongbae looked surprised, but answered only to start grinning like mad.

"Dae!"

_"Hey Yongbae! I'm back in Korea until you come home, so I can call you now."_

Leewon cocked an eyebrow at the answering voice. It sounded raspy and soft, nothing like the star on the variety shows. 

Yongbae bit his lip and swiped at his eyes. "It's good to see you."

Daesung's voice was even softer, if possible.  _"I miss you so much. It's not much longer now, though. Seven months."_

"Yup. Not long at all." He was biting his lip harder and Leewon realized he was trying not to cry. "How've you been?"

 _"Tired."_  She sighed.  _"It's been so much work with my album and learning English. Do you get magazines there?"_

"Yeah. Some of the guys buy them and bring them back."

_"It's been a circus for me. Everytime I leave the apartment, I'm hounded. I've started going through the fire escape to get groceries."_

Yongbae winced. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could help you."

_"I don't care what they think of me, honestly. My fanbase defends me on all the forums, so I'm not worried about them. I just . . . I miss having you home. It's so lonely now, too big for me."_

"Is that why you're not at home now?"

_"Seunghyun-hyung invited me over. I'm staying here tonight. Once Jiyong's done mixing, he's probably going to come too."_

"And Seungri?" Yongbae sat forward, face falling. "Really?" His eyes flickered to the bottom of the screen and he fell back on the bed, angrily scrubbing his face with his hands before sitting up again. "He needs to shut up, honestly."

_"He meant well, I know. He wanted to make sure that we're okay, that nothing's happened to break us up, but he didn't have to . . . do that."_

"How did you get him to leave? I know he can be persistent."

She giggled.  _"I don't have all these muscles for nothing."_

Yongbae's laugh was pure and crystalline, ringing through the barracks. "I love you, so much."

 _"I love you more."_  There was some shuffling.  _"Seunghyun wants to say hi. Here."_

_"Yo, Yongbae! You doing okay over there? Ji said you were fine, but I haven't seen you."_

Yongbae chuckled. "Yeah, hyung, I'm fine. Hunshik, my bunkmate, and I have become good friends, so I'm not lonely."

On cue, Hunshik appeared from the top bunk, waving at the screen. "Hello!"

"Give the laptop back to Dae, I want her to meet Hunshik."

Yongbae repositioned himself to Hunshik could sit next to him on the bed and this gave Leewon a view of the camera as well. Daesung was freshly showered, her hair curling around her as it dried, her face clear and makeup-free. She didn't look like the sickly being in the magazine photos and the adoration she had for Yongbae was absolutely sickening in its sincerity. He had said the muscles she had threw him off, made her less attractive, and it was true, but the way she smiled, she way she lit up - she was stunning. No wonder she'd brought Yongbae to his knees, tied her to him no matter how many times they went drinking and a girl felt him up. He understood why Yongbae kissed the rosary, held it close to his heart; stroked over the more natural pictures of her to be found in the album. 

He hadn't been paying attention to their conversation, not until they she started to sing. 

That CD she'd sent him was something he jealously guarded, only listening to it with headphones on and somehow managing to hide it so well the CO couldn't find it. Even over the grainy lag of Skype, her voice was beautiful. No reason Hunshik was a fan of hers. 

"Aren't you going to introduce me, too, Yongbae?" Leewon cut in, approaching with a smug smirk. 

Daesung looked up at him curiously, but then Jiyong cut in on the other side.  _"Go fuck yourself, Leewon! You don't get to speak to our lovely Daesunggie when you didn't even compliment her poster."_

She made a mock-angry face.  _"So rude!"_

"Seriously, though, leave." Hunshik said, pushing him out of the frame. "You're not a friend of ours."

"I'm offended!"

"Good." Hunshik sniped back.

* * *

Later that week, Seungri appeared at her apartment door again, holding out roses, her favourite chocolate and a teddy bear with a tiny  _Taeyang_  hat on. 

"Dinner's on me?" 

She took the gifts, set them on the table and smiled at him. "Give me a minute to change and we'll go."

* * *

Daesung didn't get the chance to call much, busy on shows and promotions. The rumours of her fidelity fluxuated, but she promptly ignored them, even going so far as to leave a show entirely when a host accused her of infidelity. 

"Not only do I not owe the details of my personal life to the public, but I am disgusted he would even ask." Daesung said in a magazine interview later that week. "It's not the first time I've been suspected and it won't be the last, simply because Taeyang and I are both idols, but to respond to bald-faced accusations like that with anything less than polite contempt is to validate it." Yongbae had outright laughed at that one, Hunshik giggling like a schoolgirl with how she shut them down, entirely too fed up with bullshit.

There was barely a month left of his service. He didn't know how Jiyong managed to be so calm in the leadup. He wanted to run all the way back to Seoul, tackle Daesung into his bed and not leave for a year.

"Cool down, man, you're going to bounce through the ceiling."

"We're leaving in two and a half weeks, Shikkie. We get to go home."

"Still man, calm down."

"I can't. I'm going to get to hold her again." Yongbae fell back onto his bunk, clutching the rosary. "I'm going to see her again in two short weeks."


	7. Taeyang's Girl

The plane took off and Yongbae was practically vibrating. His lips were red from biting them, his eyes constantly flicking down to his cheap watch. Even Hunshik was a little disgusted by how happy he was.

"You need to calm down, man."

"I can't help it. I'm so excited."

"She'll be there. Just chill - you're freaking the others out."

Leewon huffed on the other side of the isle, casting them disgusted looks. "He's just happy he's going to wet his dick soon is all."

"I just want to hold her again." Yongbae sighed into the window, rosary tangled in his fingers. "I want to feel her in my arms again."

"The sentiment is sweet, it really is, but I've had to hear about it for the last week. Shut up." Hunshik punched him playfully in the arm. He pressed a button on the small screen in front of him and put in his headphones, silently offering one to Yongbae. 

* * *

Seungri and Seunghyun were working. Despite the fact it wasn't his interview and he could be helping them, some intuition told Jiyong that he needed to be there for Daesung's interview. 

The hosts exchanged pleasantries with her, asking obligatorily about her album and her inspirations for it.

"I wrote the songs at various stages, starting with  _First To Go_ , which was about TOP and his move into service. I wrote one for each of the members, even though Seungri hasn't gone yet and G-Dragon just got back."

"Why?"

She adjusted, Yongbae's thick chain necklace flashing under the spotlight. "A lot of the time, when a member just need someone to listen, they come to me and talk. The idea came to me because that's what Seunghyun-hyung did. Jiyong was a little different, because he doesn't like to talk about his feelings, like he betrays his role as leader by sharing his burden any and he struggles with that. After they left, Seungri and I became very close, and he told me of his reservations about his service, some of his worries. I live with Taeyang, so we talk all the time."

"Do you talk much since he's gone?"

"I don't have much time. Between all of the effort of making the album and my English studies in Canada, I've been too busy to talk to much of anyone."

"Are you busy or do you not want to talk to them?"

She pushed some hair out of her face, sending the host an assessing look while the cameras couldn't catch it. "It's difficult for anyone who's not an idol to understand how much work really goes into our work. Maybe I'm worse than others because I've learned by recording habits from our leader, but that doesn't make it any less valid."

"Are you and Taeyang still dating?"

This time, she didn't hide her suspicious gaze. "Of course. Is there a reason we wouldn't be?"

The female host looked to her speaking male counterpart, unsure of where he was taking the questioning. The man continued unhindered by her gaze. "If I were in his spot, I don't think I could trust a woman with such lusty rumours surrounding her."

She smiled, sweetly, charmingly, professionally, but said nothing. 

"Is that your way to saying its true, that you're cheating on Taeyang?"

Her response cracked across the room like a whip, her smile still in place. "Don't assume to put words in my mouth."

"Do you have nothing to say on it, then? They've been very strong ever since Taeyang left for his service."

Jiyong was shocked. Hosts could be pushy, and certainly they were known to harsh on sensitive topics, but this obviously wasn't something they planned on, if the way the female host was looking between the two. Daesung's smile was still in place.

"You're married, right?"

The male host blinked. "Yes, I am."

"Then tell me, just humour me: if you were in my position, how would you react if there were constantly false rumours being yelled all around you. Then, every time you go out in public, they're yelled at your face and you're accused of things you haven't, wouldn't dream of doing. Imagine then, that you come to this show to discuss your work and answer some questions for the fans, only to have someone you don't know very well thrust the mantle of whore on you and try to force a false adminition of guilt from you. How would that make you feel?"

The host was silent.

"Humiliated, right? Embarrassed, unfriendly, horrified. Like someone was trying to tear away your dignity without any real reason to. Imagine all that, feel all of that, and you know what it's been like to be me for the last two years." She laughed, pretending she wasn't moments away from crying. 

All she did was smile.

"Who were you with, then?" The host questioned, voice much softer than before.

"My cousin." She tried, but the tears fell. She didn't stop to pat them away, just let them happen. Even the best of actors were only solid for so long. "I didn't want to pressure the other members with my own worries. Seunghyun had just come home, Seungri is afraid of his own entrance. Jiyong and Yongbae were both gone. So I met up with my cousin, a friend of mine since childhood, and stayed with him for a couple of weeks to try and sort myself out. We composed some songs together. Then he gave my number to a friend of his in Canada who could teach me English. Finally, I couldn't take the stress anymore and went to Canada for two months to focus on English and relax. Then I came back and I'm the whore of Korea."

She stood and straightened herself out, hair shielding her face from the camera's scrutiny.

"My relationship with Yongbae is the best thing that's ever happened to me, aside from getting into Bigbang, and it hurts to have both of those things taken from me in such a short time for such a long time. It's not been easy to not be able to kiss him or for him to be there when I come home. I've been  _lonely_. Judge me for it if you want, but I never claimed to be anything more than human."

She strode off the stage, poised and dignified even if she didn't feel it. Jiyong was on his feet immediately.

* * *

Yongbae's nervous jittering only tripled after Daesung walked off the stage.

"Good thing Ji's there." Is all he managed to say. He looked nearly distraught, like if Daesung were to vanish off the face of the earth, he would no longer have a purpose to his life. 

"You need to calm down." Hunshik whispered. 

"You don't  _understand_." Yongbae whispered back, eyes fixed out the window. 

"Look, I know she's upset, but she's a big girl."

"That's not the-" He ran his hands through his regrowing hair. "She  _never_ gets like that.You're a fan - you should know that she  _never_  lets you see something she doesn't want you to. Let alone see her  _cry_ -"

"Maybe it was a move to make the host feel bad."

"She's not malicious like that."

"How do you know?" Leewon piped up. "You haven't seen her in two years."

"Because we've been side by side for twelve."

* * *

The first thing that hit him after he exited the airport was cameras, flashes and reporters yelling questions at him. He wouldn't have been able to process them, but even if he had of tried, he heard  _cheating_  and was immediately done with them. He managed to get past them, spotting Jiyong's newly hot pink hair from across the parking lot. 

"Yongbae, wait for me!" Hunshik called, wading through the reporters, Leewon trailing him.

Yongbae's focus narrowed down on the sleek black car and he was walking so fast over he might have been jogging. 

"Jiyong!"

The pink haired man looked up from his phone and immediately grinned, standing straight to give his friend a hug and take the duffel bag.

"Did Daesung come?"

Jiyong just laughed. "Hello to you too." He shook his head with a grin and pointed to the trunk of the car. 

He thanked his leader with a grin and rushed down.

* * *

A hand landed on her shoulder, pulling her up into a stand again and spinning her around. It felt like the breath was punched out of her when she was met with Yongbae's face again.

They both stared at each other for a long moment, like they might wake up from a dream and be back alone in their beds. Then, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into a bruising kiss. He was on her in seconds, one hand fisting her hair and the other locked tightly around her waist, pulling her lean, muscled form tight to his. 

The reporters that followed them were fighting each other for shots, but neither noticed nor cared to. Two years of missed experiences and thousands of miles of distance were erased in a bare touch of skin, the way the trained strength in their muscles couldn't pull them any tighter. 

He backed her up, slamming the trunk back down into place and hoisting her up onto it, settling himself between her legs and wrapping them around him. She held his face, thought, not allowing him to escape her. With his arms free, he buried his hands in her hair, relishing the feeling of soft, thick locks tangled in his fingers once more, not the shaved stubble on his head. 

When they finally came up for air, they both breathed "I love you" at the same time, foreheads resting against one another. He gave a breathless chuckle, fingertips tracing the lines of her face; her eyes, her nose, her cheekbones, her lips. Those  _lips_.

"Damn." 

The couple looked over, re-entering the world to the flashing of cameras, the scrambling of cameramen and reporters to see Jiyong grinning like mad. Hunshik was standing beside him in stunned silence and Leewon behind him, mouth hanging open in shock like his jaw was broken. Jiyong's grin only sharpened. 

"That was  _hot_. Could we do that in the next music video? That needs to be on film."

"Agreed." Hunshik added, voice weak and throat dry. 

All four men watched the angelic light come back to Daesung as she threw her head back and laughed. Her legs squeezed Yongbae and he smiled at her, hands falling down to rub along her thighs. She was human radiance once more as she met her leader's eyes, pulling Yongbae in for a long, tight hug. "Definitely."

* * *

Seungri was annoyed.  _Very_  annoyed. Not only did his manager  _totally_  know that Yongbae was coming home today, but that Daesung would be mobbed by reporters once she got there. 

While he'd been one of her first accusers - and he wouldn't blame her if she held it against him until either she died or her relationship with Yongbae ended - he'd explained himself thoroughly, the way he had to Jiyong, and she had been forgiving, even so far as understanding. 

_"I know why you'd think that. I get it. It's not uncommon for a girlfriend like me to pass off a Dear John letter and run away with someone new. I don't like it, but I understand." She took his hand, squeezing it tightly. "As long as we can still be friends."_

He made sure to spend more time with her as a friend instead of a groupmate. He came to know her really well - at least, come to actually learn the things he thought he knew - and had shared secrets with her about himself in their quiet moments in exchange for hers. Long nights spent at his home, bottles split between them and exchanged histories, pasts which they wouldn't have come to understand otherwise, affection blooming where it was unable before. She was his noona in title before, but she was his true noona now, like an actual, loving older sister.

And that was why he was rankled now.

"Rumour has it you were one of Daesung's first accusers for her infidelity. Is it true?"

While it was, there was a time for truth and a time for protecting his fucking family. "I approached her with concerns, yes, but she laid them to rest."

"So you don't believe she's cheating on Taeyang?"

"Nope. She doesn't have that kind of heart."

"What about this footage?" 

He watched some woman - possibly man, hard to tell - get down on her heavily-pixellated and grainy knees and start giving some indistinct man a blowjob. He shrugged when it finished. "What about it?"

"For many, this has sealed their opinion on Daesung's habit. Considering you were the only bandmate of hers to approach this subject, are you sure your opinion hasn't changed with all fot eh new evidence that's appeared?"

"Some slut on her knees with the same vague bodyshape and hair colour as Daesung is supposed to convince me she's sleeping around? Or any of the other hundreds of pictures of blurry, vague women having sex with various people is evidence?" He snorted. "Please. Daesung's signature clothing is all black, mostly denim and her hair is a muted, natural-lloking auburn. Sure, she's got quite a physique on her, but that doesn't mean shit when it's on shitty footage like that."

" . . . I didn't mean to offend you, Seungri."

He laughed, eyes screaming murder. "Yes you did. You want me to say what you're thinking. Not gonna happen."

"No need to get defensive." The host backed off. He took the opportunity to step forward.

"Yes, there is. Daesung won't defend herself because she feels like that's admitting guilt. So I'm going to say it for her: She's not cheating on Taeyang! So take your accusations and belligerence against  _her_  and shove it up your own ass." He stared the shocked host down. "No one outside of our group gets to back my noona into a corner. No one."


	8. Yongbae's Woman

When Jiyong pulled the car to a stop outside of their apartment building, Daesung and Yongbae both cast him a curious look. The leader just laughed. 

"Yeah, yeah, I know this is your car. Go have tonight for yourselves and call em when you want me to come get you tomorrow and we can go to Seunghyun's place or out for dinner or whatever. Now go be foolish, children." He winked at them and tossed the rest of Daesung's keys to her. "I'll see you later."

Daesung smiled and slid out of the car, but Yongbae stopped long enough to give Jiyong a kiss on the cheek.

"You're the best, Ji. I love you."

He was almost as pink as his hair, reaching back to slap the dancer. "Get out!"

The couple laughed as Jiyong raced the car off into the evening sun, swearing feverently as he went and turning up the volume on the radio. 

"C'mon. Let's go home." Yongbae smiled. Daesung felt like she was going to pass out just from the intensity of the love there. He took her hand as he lead her to the elevator, pressing the button for their floor, smiling at her the entire time. 

When he took the keys to the apartment door from her with freightening gentleness, she couldn't stop her lips from quivering, could feel the emotion overwhelm her even when she bit it to keep it still. He flicked on the lights, the apartment no different from how he remembered it and set his bag down on the entryway floor, Daesung closing the door behind them. 

"it's so good to be home." He breathed, relief flowing through him. When he turned around to look at her, she was hiding her face behind her hair, hands twisting together anxiously. "Dae? Are you alright?"

She shook her head and slid down the door, curling into a ball on the entrance mat, tucking her face into her knees. Her voice was thick and small with her rasp, like it was back when she was a nervous trainee who didn't speak much. "I shouldn't be like this. You just got home - I should be happy."

He sat down next to her and pulled her in, wrapping his arms around her. "I saw your last interview."

She froze up in horror before she started to sob in earnest. He pulled her closer, resting his chin on her head and running his fingers through her hair and down her back, the other hand stroking up and down her arm. 

"I can't imagine how hard it's been for you. It's not easy to deal with gossip on a regular basis, let alone this. Or how he attacked you on that show."

Her fingers clenched in his shirt and she buried her face further into his chest, breath coming in short, stuccato hiccups. He kissed her head, bringing her legs to lay across his lap.

"Even some of the men in my unit believed it, tried to make me believe it. But you're my Daesunggie, my lovely Dae, my talented D-Lite. I knew you would never do that, and I knew that you had the same faith in me. That was all I needed. All of the pictures, the posters, the memories and the rosary you sent me only reinforced that, made me love you more, yearn for you more. I would never believe anything the media has to say. Not a word. Plus, I bet you didn't see Seungri's interview."

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, accidentally smearing some eyeliner. He grinned at it - she was even more precious like this, weak and vulnerable in front of him because she  _trusted_  him with it, not to mock her, to pity her, to belittle her. She trusted that he would never use it against her, to reveal it to anyone she wasn't comfortable with knowing, because  _she loved him_. "What did he say?"

"Well, you must have made him nicer, because he told the host to 'shove it up his ass'."

She laughed, hiccups cutting her off occasionally, but she looked lighter. "I'll have to thank him tomorrow."

"I dunno. He looked pretty satisfied with himself afterwards. Even finished the interview when the female host took over."

"Brat." She huffed affectionately, dabbing away the last of the tears. She smiled up at him before it dropped. "Oh God, I'm wearing makeup!"

"Get up. I'll help you wash it off." He smiled, kissing her softly on her lips. "You don't need it around me."

Her thumb slid over his cheekbone, smiling tenderly at him. "Thank you."

He blinked. "Oh. I almost forgot to mention - I need your CD again."

"Did you break the last one?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Wore it out."

She blinked at him un surprise, the last of her tears falling away. "You . . .  _wore it out_? I didn't think CDs could be . . . "

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, well, Every time I had spare time, I listened to it, played it on the stereo after you officially released it, so . . . Oh, and my bunkmate, the guy beside JIyong today at the airport, he's a major fan of yours. His name is Hunshik."

"Looks like I need two more copies of it then." She giggled. 

He grinned at her, pushing her up slightly. "C'mon. Let's get your makeup off and both of us showered. I smell terrible and you look like you could rise off all the bad thoughts."

* * *

Jiyong got sick of waiting for them around two in the afternoon. Every ten minutes he was checking his phone for any calls or texts, but there was nothing.

"Oh ym God, just go get them already." Seungri whined, pushing the smaller man. "Take Seunghyun's key and stop  _being a distraction_."

"You're the one making faces at the camera." Jiyong huffed. "Why did Seunghyun even want to work with you? You're impossible. Must be because you've kissed."

Seungri rolled his eyes. "Seunghyun-hyung's only kissed me as much as he's kissed you, so I'd keep my mouth shut. As it stands, I also happen to be the only member who hasn't kissed Daesung."

"That just makes you sound  _less_  straight, you know." Seunghyun murmured, eyes roving over the lyrics of his rap once more, brows furrowed. 

Seungri was instantly indignant. " _Excuse me_? Mr. Let's-kiss-every-memeber-I-can-while-on-tour over here. Sometimes it's like you're trying to stick your tongue down Ji's throat."

Jiyong snorted. "Like you don't want to."

A devious smile came to his face as he leant on the mixing table. "Only if you wear that tight little black dress you did in 'CRAYON'."

Jiyong rolled his eyes. "You just don't have the legs to pull that off. Besides, the parody you crossdressed for didn't even make you look that good. I actually managed to look like a girl."

Seungri wrinkled his nose. "Ew. Why did Daesung have to be a girl? It should have been you."

Jiyong rolled the beat for Seunghyun again. "Why? So you could try to chase after me?"

"Well, if you were a girl, it would be east to get you down."

Jiyong snorted. "Yeah-huh. Of course it would. Especially for the underage maknae."

" _Take that back!_  I am a marvel of nature!"

"Of course. Because Seunghyun's voice  _isn't_  liquid gold, Yongbae  _isn't_  practically always shirtless and Daesung  _doesn't_  have the best voice known to man."

"So, wait, you're assuming Daesung would be a guy interested in you?"

Jiyong raised an eyebrow at him. "Duh. I'm her best friend."

"No way! I am!"

"Okay, Ri, okay."

"Shut up, shortie!"

" _What_  did you just say to me?"

Seunghyun  slapped his keys into Jiyong's chest, startling him out of his almost-fake rage. "Just go get the lovebirds and discuss when and who you're going to fuck later. You're both distracting me right now."

As they left the building, Seungri looked throughfully up into the sky. "Who do you think a female TOP would go for?"

"None of us. He's chair-sexual and I doubt that would change."

Seungri laughed so hard he actually snorted. 

* * *

When they didn't get an answer, Jiyong let them into the apartment. It was clean, only Yongbae's military duffel bag sitting in the entranceway. Seungri led himself to the kitchen, complaining that Daesung only ate rabbit food and had absolutely  _nothing_  good to eat.

"It's good for your health. You know these two are exercise freaks. You've been to the gym with them."

"Just because it's good  _for_ you doesn't make it good food!"

He snorted and walked deeper into the apartment, knocking on the bathroom door, opening it, and finding the room empty. He went to the next door, knocked, opened, and found a spare bedroom/probably Daesung's old bedroom/songwriting/composing space. There was a bare mattress leaning against one wall, while the others had been soundproofed. There was a piano, a drumset and two guitars, one electric and the other acoustic. There was also a synth keyboard plugged in beside the piano. The grand piano in the living room was most likely Yongbae's, the one that Daesung wouldn't play on. Yongbae was a better player anyway, and he preferred to create soft melodies on the grand piano rather than their music. 

He knocked on the last door, got no answer, and opened it. This was another bedroom, but considerably smaller. There were two dressers doubling as vanities, a large and open walk-in closet and a double bed surrounded by pictures hanging on the walls, a chest sitting at the end of the bed. And there, wrapped up in each other and the thick duvet, were Yongbae and Daesung, both sound asleep. Yongbae was on his back, Daesung laying partially on top of him, head tucked into his shoulder. By the looks of their shoulders, though, neither of them were wearing much, if any, clothing.

Jiyong closed the door and knocked louder this time, hearing Yongbae curse softly before speaking. "Hello?"

"It's two in the afternoon and I came to get you two." Jiyong replied, careful not to be too loud in case Yongbae didn't want Daesung awake just yet.

"It is, too. Damn. Okay. Give us a minute and we'll meet you in the living room."

"No problem. Just so you know, Seungri's here too."

"Noted. Thanks."

Jiyong shook his head with a smile as he walked to rejoin Seungri. The lovestuck fools. "Found anything yet?"

" _No!_  They'd disgustingly healthy. My tastebuds are offended on their behalf."

"That's just because you're human junk food. I don't even know how you stay as small as you care." Jiyong stole a bottle of watermelon juice from the fridge, leaning on the small kitchen table. 

"How can you even  _drink_ that?" Seungri looked thoroughly offended.

"It's . . . watermelon juice."

"Yeah! Ew!"

"But . . . watermelon?"

"Uh,  _fruit_. Yuck."

"How can you  _not_  like watermelon?

"I like watermelon, but I'm objecting to all other fruit."

"Strawberries too?"

"Okay, strawberries are exempt too, but-"

"Blueberries? Cherries?  _Grapes_? What kind of monster are you if you don't like  _grapes_?"

"Okay, I like those too, but-"

"Nope, can't talk to you. You've sworn off fruit."

"Hey, I never-!"

"Nope. Silencio. I don't want any of what you're trying to sell me."

" _Jiiiiii_ -"

"Nuh-uh." He pushed Seungri away by his face as he took another drink of the juice. "Nope."

The maknae pouted, rolling his eyes as he continued to search in vain for anything premade and chocolate inside Daesung's cupboards. 

It took another twenty minutes for Daesung and Yongbae to appear, both of them dressed.

"Tell me you have secret chocolate somewhere." Seungri pleaded. Daesung blinked in surprise. 

"I don't eat chocolate, so I don't buy it."

"Not even  _sometimes_?"

She shook her head slowly and Seungri looked like he was ready to either throw a tantrum or start crying. Yongbae laughed. Jiyong rolled his eyes, finishing the juice. 

"God, why are you even so put out? We're going for dinner soon. You can order chocolate whatever there."

"But I want it  _now_." Seungri whined. Yongbae walked past him, smiling as he ruffled the younger's hair. 

"Patience. You'll be fed soon." And Seungri settled down.

Jiyong snorted. "You'll make a really good father one day, Yongbae." He grinned and sent a wink Daesung's way. She rolled her eyes with a smile, pulling on her boots. 

"They don't serve or sell chocolate in the military." Yongbae chuckled, ruffling Seungri again. "I'm inclined to be nice to him, since he's going to die of withdrawal once he's there."

"You are both unbelievably rude." Seungri huffed. "No wonder I like my noona the best."

* * *

Roughly three months later, when they were all having dinner again on one of their rare free evenings at a small, local restaurant where they were well-known and secreted customers, Yongbae proposed. 

It was a decidedly quiet event, so much so that Seunghyun, Seungri and Jiyong didn't notice right away. 

They had decided to indulge (three of them, anyway, Seungri complained), and Daesung and Yongbae were watching, nursing their second drinks of the evening, knowing someone had to drive them back to Seunghyun's villa. The booth they were in was rounded, Seunghyun sitting on the outside with Seungri to his right, who was flanking Daesung. Jiyong was across from him, Yongbae on his left. The couple was sitting close together in the centre, occasionally sharing food with each other in an almost friendly way, neither of them too keen on too much PDA or making the other members uncomfortable. The three were arguing about the correct properties of an Oreo brownie mudslide and if it was a worthy alcoholic drink or vodka got lost and found its way into a milkshake. 

Seunghyun was perhaps the first to notice, having been paying attention to the banter, but only occasionally participating. He liked wine, preferred it to most other alcohol, so he thought they were both wrong. Through the evening, Daesung and Yongbae had shared small, soft conversations of their own, and Seunghyun let them. If possible, after he'd returned, they'd grown so impossibly close that the scandal rumours couldn't keep up - he was with her in every picture, in the audience during her interviews or with her even there, on stage and they lived together. They kept their couplish activities low, though. They weren't kissing at the table, weren't making eyes at each other or doing much of anything that wasn't the norm for them even before they started dating. 

So, Seunghyun knew when Yongbae showed her something, just blocked by the table, removing his arm from around her shoulder to open whatever it was. But Seungri got particularly animated and Seunghyun's attention was drawn away - something about chocolate being the lifeblood of existence and Jiyong's inability to swear fealty to it a sure sign of his doom. It made Seunghyun afraid that soon a twenty year anniversary would be upon them - he didn't know how he'd made it as far as he had with them and when they stopped being live-in coworkers and became intimate family - when  _hyung_  and  _noona_  and  _dongsaeng_  and  _maknae_  became affectionate callsigns over rigidly structured, polite respect to age and experience. 

Daesung twisted to face Yongbae better, and so did he, as she offered him her left hand. He whispered something inaudible, she nodded and he did something to her hand before smiling at her. She smiled right back, pressing a brief kiss to his lips before they both sat normally again, the smiles now permanent fixtures on their faces. Daesung kept looking down at her hand and grinning, twisting at something.

Seunghyun didn't think anything of it. He'd never been in a relationship for four, nearly five years before. Maybe they just had an understanding. 

It took Seungri and Jiyong until the drive home to notice. 

Daesung had elected to drive Seunghyun's car back to his place, Yongbae agreeing to drive them back to their apartment after they picked up their car. 

"Ooooo~" Jiyong murmured, leaning forward in his seat to perch his elbows on the console. "Where'd you get the rock?"

Daesung grinned at her passenger. "Yongbae gave it to me."

"Oh, really? It's nice. So . . . sparkly." Jiyong sing-songed, starting to hum some tune stuck in his head. "I love the shine on it."

Now it had caught Seungri's attention too. "Woooow. Nice rock! Did you finally decide to put a ring on it?"

The leader and the maknae both gasped, looking to each other at the same time, then starting to sloppily sing 'Single Ladies', snorting and laughing the whole way through. 

"It's an engagement ring, isn't it?" Seunghyun, only mildly tipsy now, asked, leaning forward and pushing Jiyong out of the way as they switched to 'Say My Name'.

"Um-hmm." Daesung hummed back and nodded happily. 

Yongbae cast a smirk and a wink back at the eldest. "I liked it."

Seunghyun snorted and sat back. "Congratulations, you disgustingly sweet bastards." 

Daesung laughed. "Thanks, hyung."

"Oh no, did we miss something?" Seungri whined, probably seeing double and only able to navigate based on the highlighter tip that was Jiyong's hair. 

"I'll show you tomorrow, promise." Yongbae answered, voice low and soothing. 

Jiyong frowned, tryign to puzzle it out through the alcohol his brain was swimming in, then seemed to decide it was alright to drown as long as the pool was drained by tomorrow morning. "Yeah, show us tomorrow. I can't- can't quite see straight."

"I bet you can't. I told you those fruity drinks have a lot of alcohol in them. But you said they were  _girly_  just because they taste good. I'm gonna make sure to bang pots around your room when you have an inevitable hangover." Seungri giggled. 

"Not if I kill you first." Jiyong muttered back, wrapping an arm around the youngest's shoulder. "And I could."

"Yeah, yeah. You love me."

"Not as much as you'd hope." Jiyong grinned back.

Seungyun sighed. "Are you sure you two can't stay the night? I  _really_ will need help with them come morning."

The couple exchanged a look, then shrugged. "Just make sure to knock first."

"It's okay. I learned that the hard way once with Jiyong n my bathroom." The man shuddered. "I always knock."

* * *

Come morning, with some careful help from Daesung, Jiyong had managed to avoid a hangover. Seungri, however . . .

"Morning, panda~" Jiyong sang, ruffling the other's hair.

"I wish you were dead." Seungri replied miserably, hiding his face in his arms to ward off the morning light. 

Jiyong pinched his cheek, just to hear the youngest start to list all the swear words he knew and some that sounded vicious, but made up. Laughing at him only incited him to list off threats as well. 

"Leave him be." Daesung scolded, laying down a pill and some water for the youngest. The sun caught the ring, and the shine of the ring caught Jiyong's eye. Fashionista for a reason, people. 

Immediately, the leader was on her, yanking her almost to the floor by her left hand as he inspected the ring. "Oh my God. When did you get this?"

"Yongbae gave it to me last night."

"What?! When?"

Yongbae leant back in his seat, cracking his back into place once more over the top of the chair. "When you were arguing about alcoholic milkshakes."

Seungri's fist slammed down on the table. "Mudslides are legitimate drinks, dammit!"

Yongbae just chuckled. "I don't really care what you drink, Seungri."

It took Jiyong a full ten minutes of staring at the ring. "It's an engagement ring, isn't it?"

Yongbae smirked, taking a sip of his coffee. "Indeed it is."

"What?!" Seungri's head came up so fast, the light blinded him. "Shit!" He rubbed them, downed the pill she gave him, then squinted at the diamonds. "You got engaged?"

"Yeah."

"To be married?"

"Yes."

"And Daesung said yes?"

"I did."

Seungri leant back in his hair, rubbing his hands over his face. "I'm going to go off into service and you're going to have children, aren't you? I can see it now, already planning on leaving me out of your first child."

"You were my first child." Daesung replied. 

"Uncalled for!" Seungri griped. "I am an adult!"

"Who throws tantrums." Seunghyun said.

"And hates eating their vegetables." Daesung added. 

"And doesn't play well with others." Yongbae supplemented. 

"And doesn't still doesn't listen to his elders." Jiyong finished.

Seungri pouted and crossed his arms. "Four dads and two moms - what did I do in my last life to deserve this?"'

"On the bright side," Daesung laughed, "It's only half the parents you'll have in the next life."

"Hardy-fucking-har."

And so Daesung and Yongbae were engaged, very quietly and simply.


	9. Wedding Dress

Yongbae looked down at Daesung, hand stroking over her bare shoulder. The sun was trying to crawl up into the sky, but only the barest of rays were making it through their apartment window, just enough to highlight her muscles, the shadow of her hair on her face and the breathtaking smoothness of her skin.

They had been close for a long time, confidants longer than that. He knew her greatest fears and her greatest worries. As such, it wasn't particularly news to him when she had told him her desire for their wedding the night before. He'd known for a long time that she wasn't comfortable in a feminine archetype, didn't feel beautiful or even just pretty enough to be worth a skirt or a dress. When they'd done parodies where she had to dress like a girl, she tried to keep to her style of flattering or something that would hide her figure. A loose schoolgirl outfit, a cream turtleneck paired with black slacks and a massive coat draped over her shoulders. She didn't like to dress feminine, didn't feel worthy of it, like she wasn't enough of a woman for it. She didn't even like women's pantsuits, didn't like how they clenched across her muscled shoulders and chest, how she had to size up all of her clothes to suit her body type, the lack of classic curves, round softness. So, no, he wasn't surprised by what she had to say, why she wanted his opinion on it. 

There was a soft knock on the front door and he extricated himself from her, trying his hardest not to disturb her. He was dressed quickly and with a kiss to her head, was out the door.

* * *

"Really?" Seungri gasped.

"Yeah." Yongbae replied, taking a sip from his coffee. "That's why she doesn't want to."

"I didn't realize she felt that way." Jiyong said, voice soft and tinged with self-resentment. He always took it badly when he found out something about his members' emotions he wasn't privy to, like he had failed his members by not being able to read their minds. 

"She didn't want anyone to know, and if she could have kept it to herself, I wouldn't have either." Yongbae assured. 

"What would you like us to do?" Seunghyun stepped in after being largely quiet.

"If she would let me go shopping with her, it wouldn't be a problem, but since I'm not supposed to see this until the wedding day, she won't let me come. I need you guys to help her."

"I'll get in touch with some of the designers I know." Jiyong replied immediately. "I'm not letting our girl look any less beautiful than she should feel."

"Just . . . don't pressure her. If she really doesn't want it, then don't back her into a corner with it." Yongbae pleaded.

"I won't let it happen." Seunghyun assured. "We'll take care of her."

"Thank you." He smiled and stood. "Unfortunately, I've got to scope out locations, so I'll see you guys later, okay?"

"Yeah, go on." Jiyong nodded. "We've got this."

* * *

"Are you sure you guys all want to be here?" Daesung asked, looking at the three men sitting with her in the store.

"Why not?" Seungri cocked his head. 

"Well, it's going to be long, for one thing. Plus . . . I'm hard to fit."

"Don't worry about that." Jiyong waved her argument away. "This is one of the top wedding dress stores in all of Korea. There are even a couple of designers visiting here today. And if you don't like anything even at the end of it all, there are a couple of other places. Plus, dresses aren't the only option."

She nodded, pursing her lips. "Lead the way then, hyung. You probably know what looks better on me than I do anyway."

"Nonsense." He took her hand and dragged her to a mirror, standing beside her as they looked her form up and down. She had worn tights and a close-fitting shirt at Jiyong's request. She was indeed muscular, but she wasn't V-shaped, not even close. 

"What do you like best in your clothing? In stage costume or just in general, tell me."

She cocked her head and looked at herself in the mirror, Seungri and Seunghyun peering into the mirror from the side curiously, like the other two could see something in it they were oblivious to. 

"Simple. I like my jeans and t-shirts. I like pull-over sweaters, loose tank tops, cotton dress shirts and men's low-button blazers, clean cut with only one or two solid colours."

"Hmm." He scrutinized her form further. The look in his eye made her feel like she should feel like a bug, but it felt almost no different than when he dressed-down a stage costume, or fixed her outfit when they were in public. It was nice not to feel judged when she was being inspected for once. "So, no lace, no exaggerated frills. What about straight-cuts?"

"In dresses?" She looked at herself. "It would make my shoulders look too broad. I've built up a lot of upper body strength but not as much lower body."

"I disagree, but I can see what you mean. You'd look tube-ish, even with your arms covered. And I doubt you want a corset."

"Well, no." She looked at herself sideways. "But I figured that was part of the package."

"Not necessarily." Jiyong moved to stand beside the mirror, looking her up and down with his own eyes. "Ballroom?"

"Highlights my muscles too much."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "There's nothing  _wrong_  with that, you know."

She winkled up her face. "I don't like it with dresses. I'd rather it compliment or hide."

He nodded the same kind of nod he had in his creative comas. "I can work with that. I need you to be patient, though."

She smiled ruefully. "I came with extra patience because there are dresses involved."

* * *

Jiyong recruited Seunghyun as his dress-holder as he disappeared into the racks on racks of white, leaving Seungri with Daesung. She was in a proper bra for once, but she had a cloth band over it anyway and boy-shorts. She was on the pedestal, waiting for Jiyong to return. It was useless at this point for her to go to the changerooms and come back to them, plus they changed in front of each other all the time and the sight of her body was absolutely nothing new.

Still, for Seungri, seeing her unashamed like this made Yongbae's words ring deep in his mind.

_She doesn't feel beautiful enough for any dress, especially inferior around wedding dresses._

"Is it a little chilly?"

She looked down at him and smiled. "Nah. Warmer than backstage, for sure."

"It's nice."

"Hmm?" She looked at him so innocently, childishly curious. "What is?"

"The dresses. It's nice to see you in them. You look good."

She smiled at him. "You're getting funnier by the day, Seungri."

"Thanks, I guess, but I was being serious."

Her smile fell and she sighed. "Thank you, then."

"Normally people smile when they're complimented." He walked over and stood beneath her. "And they look more nervous in their underwear than when they're handed a beautiful dress."

"Well, let it never be said I was normal." She chuckled, but it was half-hearted. She sighed again and Seungri put a hand on her thigh, squeezing it in support. She took a moment, noticed that Seunghyun was standing across the room, and sat down on the pedestal, Seungri standing between her legs, one hand falling on either thigh. "I know Yongbae told you."

"About what?"

"That I'm not enough of a woman for these dresses."

"Yongbae didn't-"

"Neither you nor Seunghyun-hyung would ever come in here with me and stay for this long unless you were either forced to or felt you had to. If it wasn't my own wedding, I'd leave too. This is dreadfully boring." She gave him a crooked smile. "So I know he told you."

He squeezed her thighs and put his forehead to hers with a sigh. "Okay. Fine. He did. But I'm not here because he asked me to. I'm here because you won't see how stunning you look. You're beautiful in everything and nothing. You were just looking at yourself in the mirror, looking at the way your muscles flex in the sunlight, smiling at yourself. You're beautiful, Daesung, and you know it. Don't you think it's time you acknowledged it?"

She patted his cheek. "I'm really not. Sure, I'm proud of my body - I didn't put in all those hours just to cringe at it - and I like how I look when I'm dressed how I like to dress. But I'm just uncomfortable in dresses, in regular women's fashion. I don't like how it looks on me. I don't . . .  _fit_  the look."

Seungri raised an eyebrow at her and dropped onto the balls of his feet, elbows resting on her knees, looking up at her. "How do you know? I never see you wear it, never heard of you even trying it on. You certainly don't let the costume staff do it, and you politely decline all of the designers for photoshoots."

"Do you see a leather catsuit and just know you're not going to pull it off?"

"I think that's a little different."

"Women's fashion isn't as cut and dry as men's fashion. They're so much harder to fit, meant for girls like 2NE1 and SISTAR."

"I'd still try it on, even if I was dubious." Seungri replied pointedly. "Plus you know I'd rock it."

She giggled. "Well, duh."

"Is it all the media attention for so long?"

"Seungri, I don't know how else to explain it to you: I was mistaken for a man for four years after Bigbang's debut."

He flinched. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I'm just not feminine. That's all there is to it. Jiyong wears dresses better than I do."

Seungri rubbed her thigh as they lapsed into silence.

"Well, isn't this just cute."

The two idols looked up to a man just taller than Yongbae. 

Seungri was on his feet immediately, placing himself between the man and Daesung. "And you are?"

"Doesn't matter who I am, so much as what you two were just up to."

Seungri rolled his eyes. "God forbid members of the same group talk."

"God forbid that the male member be between the naked female member's legs. Wouldn't it just be tragic if there were pictures of it?"

"And who do you think you are?" Seungri barked, giving the man a glare that should have set him on fire. 

"Well, I'm Kim Leewon, Seungri." He held up his cell phone, grinning wickedly. "A good friend of Yongbae's from the military."

Daesung pushed Seungri out of the way, her face neutral. "And?"

"How would you prefer he see these? Should I show them to him personally or give them to the magazines? They haven't given up on you yet, you faithless slut."

She caught Seungri's arm before the maknae could launch himself at the larger male. "Go see if Ji or Seunghyun-hyung need any help."

"But, noona-"

"Now, Seunghyun."

The blonde was seething, moments from launching verbal venom Leewon's way, but did as she told him to, her blank stare fixed resolutely on the other man. "Fine."

Leewon smirked as soon as Seungri was gone. "Planning on bribing me? You could blow me to delete the pictures, but I might just have to take more since those pretty lips would look so good wrapped around my cock."

"I'm not the kind of girl who will put shit into my mouth." She replied evenly, posture and sitting arrangement regal even with her clothing disadvantage. She'd been topless thousands of times on stage, all she was missing here was pants. It wasn't like she'd never been in shorts and topless. 

His smirk turned into a sharp grin, an angry one. "So, what? You only suck off the cross-dressers you call a group?"

"Run out of insults about me already?" She stood, walking towards him, stopping just within touching distance. 

His smirk returned. "Finally come to your senses?"

She gave him a dark smile. "Just keep in mind that I don't do this for just anyone. And I want those pictures gone first."

He opened his phone and deleted them, showing her his gallery afterwards with a smirk. "Get to it."

She looked around them, surveying for staff. Finding none, she moved him further into the relatively secluded, but spacious, area they'd chosen for the fittings. 

* * *

Hunshik had come over to their apartment a couple of times to see Yongbae. Yongbae hadn't been shy in introducing Daesung, nor convincing her to sing for him on more than one occasion. He really liked her, as a person as well as an idol: she was quiet, considerate and genuine. She didn't bullshit him, nor did she fake any of the enthusiasm she showed him and his stories about him and Yongbae's service. She even made comment on how Hunshik was in Yongbae's second year of service picture in the small album she'd sent him. In short, the small crush he'd had on her idol persona had disappated into the same kind of close friendship he had with Yongbae. She was like a younger sister, the woman his brother was madly in love with.

"How do you think they're doing with the fittings?"

Yongbae was still surveying the small park. "I'm not sure. Want to swing by?"

"May as well. They've been there for hours now and Jiyong still hasn't called you to report yet."

Yongbae shrugged. "Sure. I don't think I like this place anyway."

It didn't take very long, even in Seoul traffic to get to the store. 

"Ji said they were in the back left, whatever that means." Yongbae directed, navigating the blindingly white and silver store. In the back, there was a semi-circle wall of mirrors nestled against a changeroom.

"I wonder if she's out roaming the store with them." Hunshik queried.

"I don't know. If they're busy, we'll leave a note."

There was a surprised grunt from behind the wall, a masculine voice that didn't match the other members. Something heavy fit the floor and there was a faint moan and a little bit of panting that sounded like Daesung.


	10. Shattered

Yongbae and Hunshik rounded the corner and only the idol's quick reflexes saved Hunshik from the phone that cracked the wall it hit and exploded into pieces. 

Leewon was laying prone on the ground, nose a fury of spilled and gushing blood. With a kind of speed and efficiency borne only of life on stage, Daesung had on her tights and was finishing lacing up the boots she'd worn. 

"What the actual fuck?" Hunshik whispered, voice lost in shock. 

Daesung shook some hair out of her face, looking up at the voice. "Oh. Hi."

"What happened?" Yongbae asked, breaking from his awe to rush over to her. She brushed him off, standing straight and pushing her hair back over her shoulders.

"Not worth mentioning." She assured, smiling.

Leewon managed to stand, trying in vain to wipe away the blood covering his face and spilling into his mouth. "You fucking bitch. I'm going to skullfuck you and make your boytoy watch."

Yongbae was too affronted to do more than stare for a long minute, but Hunshik was ready for war. He had elected to serve an extra year to finish his term with Yongbae after he'd made friends with the younger man. He'd seen Leewon the whole way through and disliked the man from the moment he laid eyes on him. Now he had an excuse to kill the man. 

Daesung was faster than either of them.

Like lightning, she was back across the space. There was a sickening  _crunch_  noise and Leewon's face effectively shattered the mirror when the two collided. All around them, there was a sudden rush of footsteps and a collection of frightened gasps from the staff that appeared. 

Daesung, though, looked anything but upset. Her body held tense for a long moment, thick and powerful muscles coiled for a follow up punch, even though the sound Leewon's jaw made didn't sound the least bit healthy. Her body fell back into normal stance once more, but the blood on her knuckles spoke more than any words the witness of the scene could come up with. The way she stared down at the man crumpled at her feet was very close to the way one would look at a disgusting bug in a jar, their prescence insignificant, but still revolting. 

Seungri pushed his way through staff and other customers who came to look, then stopped dead. "Oh my God!"

It was like his words broke the ice they were encased in and the staff scrambled, some running to check on Leewon, others asking Daesung what happened, if she was okay, that they were sorry. She held up her hands, everyone moving away from her without thinking. Her stride was measured, controlled, fluid as she walked over to Leewon, effortlessly hoisting the man over her shoulders. The crowd she'd gathered followed her as she went to the store's front doors, Seunghyun and Seungri hopping in front of her to open the glass panels. She stopped at the top of the short steps down to the sidewalk. Passerbys pulled out their phones, capturing video of the idol who resembled more a furious goddess.

"I'm going to kill you, you stupid whore." Leewon choked out. 

In a move that made Seungri's body string with familiarity, she threw the man onto the concrete, mercilessly watching him crumple into a blood-soaked mess. "Next time you attempt to blackmail me for sexual favours, I won't as forgiving as I've been now. Don't come near me or my family ever again."

She turned away then, gliding effortlessly back into the store.

* * *

Once safely beyond the view of phone cameras, Daesung turned to the closest staff member. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen. I'll gladly pay for another mirror."

"Goodness, no!" The woman breathed. "Don't dream of it! We've broken mirrors for less purpose than you. I'm so sorry this happened to you here. Does he bother you a lot?"

She shook her head. "My fiance, usually."

"You're really brave. Come, I'll find you a new changing area while my staff deal with the mess. Do you have any personal belongings there?"

"I'll grab them, Daesung." Seunghyun interjected, laying his suitjacket over her shoulders to give her some defense against her partial nudity. 

The woman, who turned out to be the manager, was quick to find them an even more secluded spot and ordered the staff to give her some space, but make sure that only the people who entered the room with her be allowed within if they could help it.

"Holy shit!" Seungri finally burst out, wrapping her in a tight hug. "Who knew my noona was such a badass?!"

She blushed, letting Jiyong clean the blood from her knuckles, checking them for any wounds of her own.

"Did you know he was going to say those things? Is that why you sent me away?" Seungri pouted at her, then he became serious. "Are you okay, though, noona?"

"I'm fine, honestly. My knuckles ache a little, but I try not to make a habit of punching people regular enough to be used to it."

"I know you're engaged to my best friend and all." Hunshik knelt in front of her, taking her other hand and kissing the back of it. "But you are the most beautiful human being I've ever seen. You completely laid him out in two punches. I will give you my house just because you did that."

"Could you give me a second alone with her?" Yongbae said softly, hands in his pockets. "Maybe go collect the dresses you probably dropped in your rush?"

Jiyong took one look at his friend and gathered the other two. "Yeah. I'm sure Seunghyun needs help too. You too, Seungri, let's go."

"But-but, noona-"

" _Now_ , Seungri."

"God, you sound like my mom." The maknae pouted but followed the order. That left Yongbae and Daesung alone, her perched quietly on the new pedestal, hands in her lap.

"I'm sorry, Yongbae."

He walked over to her, looming above her between her parted legs, then dropped to his knees. His arms snapped around her and he buried his face in her stomach, squeezing her so tight she could hardly breathe. "I'm so happy you're safe, Daesung."

She felt wetness on her stomach and gently eased him back, heart breaking as she saw the tears beading in his eyes. She gave him a tender smile as she wiped them away, pouring her affection into the kiss she pressed to his lips. "I'm sorry I scared you."

"I was scared  _for_  you. I don't like the idea of someone trying to force you into a corner, and certainly not to have sex with them." He squeezed her briefly. "What happened?"

"Because I was changing so much and we all see each other in our underwear all the time during tours and rehersals, I decided not to use the changerooms between dresses. I just changed on the pedestal so that Seungri and Ji could help me into the dress or hold it up or whatever. Seunghyun-hyung and Jiyong-hyung went to look for more dresses and Seungri and I started to talk. He was laying on and petting my thighs and I guess Leewon got pictures of it. They looked like lovers' caresses, but you know Seungri around me."

Yongbae nodded, his shaky smile prodding her to continue. 

"He made himself known and I sent Seungri away to find Jiyong, just to leave the area. He wanted me to . . . to get rid of the pictures. I told him to delete the pictures first and implied that I would . . . " She took a deep breath, eyes locked with his. "Then I broke his nose with a solid right cross."

He couldn't help but laugh, sitting up more to kiss her again. "I'm so proud of you. So brave, my Daesunggie." He rubbed his nose against hers, lashes leaving butterfly kisses along her cheekbones. "But please, if someone every threatens you like that again, get help. You never know what people can do, or who else they have with them."

Her hands cupped his face. "I know, Baebae, I know. If it hadn't of been Leewon, I would have. I promise not to do it again. At least, not to send away my backup."

He hugged her tight again. He knelt there for a long moment, just taking her in, warm and safe and fierce in his arms. "I love you, Dae."

"I love you too, Bae." She hugged him back, resting her head on his shoulder. 

"Would you like me to come shopping the next time?"

She shook her head. "I can take care of myself. I'm not going to come back for a month, I think, though. Let this settle down."

"You don't have to do a dress if you don't want to."

She gave him a brilliant smile. "I know. I have a bet with Jiyong-hyung, though. He had four-hundred-fifty-seven dresses left to show me before I'm officially exempt from dress-shopping. He said if he can't find me one after the first five hundred, his expertise is useless."

"Well, in that case, I can't wait to see the dress you choose."

"I'm going to let Jiyong put everything back and when everyone comes back, I'm just going to suggest dinner."

"I'll buy."

"Let's bring Hunshik too. He doesn't know the others really well, but it always feels like Seungri needs a friend."

"So long as you don't mind sass battles."

"As long as I don't have to be in them."

He kissed her again before standing. "Alright. I'll tell Jiyong. Just stay here for a bit and relax, okay? I'll take care of everything when we go home, too."

She smiled. "Okay."

When he vanished around the wall, she took a long look at herself in the mirror. She broke out into a giggling grin.

"It feels good to finally turn the tables on someone who's fucking with me."

* * *

"Say it one more time and I'm going to throw water in your face!"

"Seungri, if you throw water, I'm leaving you to walk home." Yongbae said, taking away the glass. 

"But mudslides are just chocolate milkshakes with a measly shot of vodka in it. What kind of a drink is that?"

"This man right here knows his shit." Jiyong grinned, wrapping an arm around Hunshik's shoulders as the maknae gave a glowering pout. "Aww, look! He's angry!"

"How can you tell?"

"Because he looks ten years old again."

"You didn't even know me at ten!"

"You're all wrong." Seunghyun interjected, grinning at them.

"Huh?" Jiyong was even more nasally when he was drunk. Hunshik raised an eyebrow and Seungri drunkenly stared at Seunghyun like he was going to pull the moon out of his back pocket. 

"Wine is the best alcohol. The rest of your nonsense is weak."

Yongbae sat back from the table, arm comfortably draped over Daesung's shoulder as she snuggled into him, occasionally snorting or giggling at something stupid the members or Hunshik would say. 

"Aww, you're so cute!" Hunshik chuckled, startling Yongbae out of the affection-induced stare he had pinned on Daesung.

"Get your head out of your ass." Seungri rolled his eyes. "You don't have to see to know that they're cute. They're gross they're so cute. Like, ew."

"You just say that because you can't get yourself a stable girlfriend." Jiyong laughed. 

"Says Mr. I-blow-through-a-model-a-month."

"Those aren't girlfriends. I don't do girlfriends."

Seunghyun snorted, sipping more wine. "Then stop picking the shallow ones."

"It's not like I can just walk out onto the street and pick up a girl!"

"The waitress was giving you looks." Yongbae suggested, far too soberly chipper for Jiyong's liking. 

"Don't sass me. I get enough of that from the kid."

"For fuck's sake, I'm twenty-fucking-nine! I'm not a child!"

"Yeah." Hunshik raised and eyebrow. "Because now I'm convinced."

Yongbae looked back down at his soon-to-be wife, this time catching her looking up at him. The rattling conversation around them dimmed, a peaceful quiet trapping them in their own world for just a moment. 

"Are you happy?" He asked, tucking some hair behind her ear. 

"I couldn't ask for anything more." Her smile was dazzling, blinding in the best way. "I've got my dreams in my arms already and a family already around my table. There's nothing left to ask for."

He smiled, tipping her head up, breathing his words against her lips. "Me neither."


	11. My Queen

Yongbae was nervous. 

So many months of planning gone into the location, the food, the flowers, the guestlist . . . And it was all happening before his eyes right now. The guestlist had been a relatively narrow one - their families and Bigbang were a given, along with the women of 2NE1 (whom Daesung in particular was close to), YG himself, some other labelmates and a few extraneous friends, including Hunshik. This was also a blackout event: no media was allowed within, even notified of the event, and no one was allowed pictures without permission from either the bride or groom. 

He pulled down on his cufflinks once more. God, he was nervous. 

"You need to relax." Hunshik said, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Look, everyone's seated. Seungri just told me that she's almost ready. What are you nervous about?"

"I don't even know." He replied, his newly-blonde hair falling around his face. "It's just kinda surreal, you know? We've been friends for . . . damn, fourteen years? I've been dating her for five of them. I know this isn't really going to change anything, but it's still huge. We're getting  _married._ "

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Seunghyun interjected, "but they're ready to go. We need to get in position."

"You'll do fine." Hunshik patted him once more on the shoulder before going to stand at the end of the groomsmen line. Jiyong took his place as the Best Man, Minzy across from him as Maid of Honour.

* * *

"There." Jiyong finished with a flourish, grinning stupidly. "You look amazing."

Daesung grinned at him, but swatted at him too. "That's just because you managed to get me on dress four hundred and eighty five."

He beamed at her. "I told you I wuld find you one. Though, to be completely honest, I was getting worried for you."

"You're such a diva." She rolled her eyes and her leader gave her a final once over, making sure everything was in place, the zippers were done up properly and her bodice fit right. "Am I ready to walk to my ball and chain?"

Jiyong snorted. "Yeah, because you two aren't glued to each other every moment of every day like lovesick freaks." He made a face. "You're so full of shit."

She giggled. "Absolutely."

"Are you excited?"

"I am." She beamed even brighter at him. "You know I haven't seen him since yesterday morning, when he went to Seunghyun-hyung's place to get ready and you came to mine. I have no idea what he'll look like. I'm just as excited to see him as I'm sure he is to see me."

"Oh, I doubt that. You've seen him in a formal suit hundreds of times. He's  _never_  seen you like this."

"I'm just in a dress, Ji. It's not  _that_  much different."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Yeah, because this  _isn't_  the man who has a sing he performs in both Korean and English titled _Wedding Dress_  and was so intent on only long-term dating that he only dated three other women before he decided he wanted to marry the one I'm looking at. No, can't possibly be."

She rolled her eyes. "You're such a prick."

He fixed a lock of hair. "You love me."

"Mmm-hmm. Aren't you supposed to be the Best Man or something?"

He looked down at his watch. "Shit, yeah. It has been almost ten minutes since I sent Seunghyun away, hasn't it? Okay. Well, don't fall." He gave her cheek a quick kiss and a soft, fond grin. "Man, it's so weird to think that my best friend and my metaphorical little sister are getting married today."

She gave him an equally soft smile. "Isn't it, though?"

"I'll see you up there, then." His smile was a little more watery, trying to pass off dabbing away tears as his eyeliner shifting on his waterline. He ducked his head with a quick "good luck" before walking away.

"Are you happy?"

Daesung stiffened at the question, looking over her shoulder that the older man behind her, but said nothing. She immediately wished Jiyong was still here. 

He sighed. "I don't blame you for not forgiving me for the grief I put you through when you chose your path. But then, as now, I'm your father. I was wrong, but that doesn't mean I don't love you and that I'm not concerned for your happiness. Your mother told me you love him, and that he loves you, but I want- No, I need to hear it from you. I need to know that you're happy."

She looked down for a moment, golden auburn hair and the veil hiding her face from him for a long moment. "I am. I've never been happier than I am with Yongbae. I love him with all of my heart."

He moved in front of her, cupping her rounded jaw with his hands. Very gently, as to not mess up her makeup, he kissed her forehead. "I'm so proud of you, Daesung. I'm as proud as can be. It soothes my soul to know that you love him so."

"It's time!" Her mother called. "Get her to the doors!"

He lowered her veil and handed her the bouquet. He offered her his arm and with a small smile, she looped hers around it.

* * *

Yongbae felt like it took ages. 

His hands were getting sweaty, his body was getting jittery and his clothes felt itchy and too-tight. It was like a pre-performance hype only the slow, calm atmosphere of the small church they were in constantly reminded him that there was no available outlet coming to save him. Even Jiyong wasn't able to help him. 

"You'll die when you see her." He'd assured, but now his brain was twisting those reassuring words into terrible imaginations that did nothing to heel the sense of doom that hung over him. No, he was bordering on running away when the organ startled him out of his delusional state. The doors at the end of the aisle opened up and he caught his first sight of Daesung. 

Her hair was parted to fall around her face, her lengthy tresses spun into loose ringlets. She had a golden tiara underneath her veil, nested comfortably in the ruddy waves. The veil covering her face less netted and more silky, giving off a sheen when stuck with the sunlight pouring into the small gathering place. Her dress was a simple, yet elegant smooth white, starting at a gentle scoop neck stretching from shoulder to shoulder then stretching down, unobstructed, to the floor. The material was matte and looked soft, moving effortlessly with her body without obstructing her. On her shoulders were golden leaves beading with gemstone dew. From underneath the leaves, there were long, loose sheaves of fabric that covered her upper arms and fell away at her elbow, fluttering along the back of her dress as she walked. Closed-toe white wedges peeped out from underneath the white fabric. 

Yongbae was breathless, having to be nudged by Jiyong to remember to accept her hand and lead her up to the altar. She smiled at him coyly from under the veil and he lit up in response, all the feelings of dread evaporating in the pit of his stomach. 

"I don't know how you managed it," He whispered, "But you look even more beautiful than you normally do."

She pursed her lips in her nervous gesture and squeezed his hand. "Thank you. Not doing too bad yourself, either."

He raised her veil and his breath was stolen once more, caught in the loving glimmer within her eyes. They stood quietly when called upon by the pastor to do so, appearing to listen to the elder man drone. Their focus was on each other, though, fingers playing softly amongst each other.

"Do you have any vows you would like to say before God?" The pastor asked at long last. 

Daesung took a deep breath, looking Yongbae in the eyes. "All that is best between us comes without words. I have nothing to say that I can't show you better. All except that I love you, with all of my heart."

Yongbae had to stop himself from pulling her in for a kiss right there. "We've spent most of our lives together, either as friends or lovers, and I look forward to ending our hopefully long and healthy lives together as one. I love you, in all that I am."

Minzy cooed softly, unable to stop herself, and Jiyong dabbed once more at his eyes. 

The pastor smiled at them. "With those vows before God, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

His arms looped around her waist and hers around his neck.

"Is this real?" He managed to whisper past the lump in his throat.

She giggled. "God, I hope so."

Mirth erupted inside his chest and he pulled her close, sealing her radiant smile between them. 

* * *

The reception was probably the most fun either of them had had in a long time. They dances so much of the night, each taking a turn with the bridesmaids and groomsmen. It was wonderful, for Daesung, to see Yongbae dance and not become Taeyang for it. He just moved, his natural fluidity making even tips and misses seem purposeful and elegant. 

For Yongbae, watching Daesung and the others, his groomsmen in particular, was really funny. 

Daesung and Seunghyun were playfull together at the worst of times, so to have their eldest member into the wine dancing to some bubblegum pop song, it was outright hilarious to watch the very sober bride mess around and jerk over the dance floor with her partner. Seungri was a little better, but the over sexualization they poured into the moves made it laughable, not even to mention the foolish faces the maknae line kept giving each other. Her dance with Jiyong was the highlight of the evening. 

Jiyong had become a more serious person after his time enlisted, more sombre and self-reflective (which could be both good or bad depending on the day and the subject). That wasn't to say that he didn't have fun, didn't still laugh and joke, but he'd most certainly changed. It was a beautiful thing to see Daesung bring out their pre-debut, worry free dork of a leader as they danced to Seungri's  _Strong Baby_ , no matter how indignant the maknae was about their butchering of his choreography (not that they even really knew that it was, even Ji having long since retired it from his memory).

"It's a sin!" The maknae practically screamed, only Hunshik keeping him in his seat.

"Calm down, squirt." The soldier muttered. "Let them have their fun. Ji looks like twelve up there, he's giggling so much."

"Haven't seen him like that since the debut." Yongbae agreed. "I mean, he always looks the youngest of us, just because he's so genderfluid, but he's really lost the years tonight."

Seunghyun nodded from behind his wine, mortification at his earlier dancing having caught up to him. "Alcohol really knocks age right off him."

"Excuse me, youngest getting offended over here." Seungri said, a petulant pout decorating his face.

Hunshik gave him a cheeky smirk and pinched his cheeks, cooing at him sarcastically. "Aww! Look at the wittle maknae! He looks just like his baby pictures!"

Seungri swatted his hands away, growling out some pretty inventive nasty names.

"Aww, the wittle babwy is embawrrassed!" Hunshik cooed again, laughing like crazy when Seungri punched him in the arm. "Oh! Baby's got bite."

Seungri glowered at him. "I hope your ass cheeks grow  _together_."

"Isn't he sweet? Thinks I'm still young enough to be growing, like he is."

Seungri hit him again, this time with considerably more force.

The song ended and Daesung guided her more inebriated partner back to the table. Seunghyun had just enough time to pull a chair out for him before he fell into it, giggling to himself and laying himself on the older man.

"I haven't had that much fun dancing in ages." Jiyong sighed as he finished his drunken giggles. "Get married more often!"

"RiRi here is still underage, so I think that's up to you two cuddlers over there. Next wedding's on you." Hunshik teased.

"On it." Jiyong tipped his head back and bopped Seunghyun's nose. "You and me. We'll get married and finish raising Seungri." His eyes widened. "He can be our flower boy!"

"Fuck all of you." Seungri hissed, indignant, before officially abandoning their table for the bar.

"They don't serve minors!" Hunshik called after him.

"I hope you choke next time you're sucking your own dick!" Seungri yelled back.

Surrounded by their loving, if dysfunctional, musical family (now officially having intigrated Hunshik as well) Yongbae lifted an arm, Daesung naturally falling into him. There was so much adoration and mirth in her body, her eyes, her smile. He didn't think he coudl fall any more in love with her than he already was, but then, he'd been proved wrong before. 


	12. Beaches

Yongbae woke slowly, taking a deep breath as he looked up at the white sandstone ceiling, just absorbing the silence, both inside and outside his head. Slowly, leisurely, he stretched out each set of muscles, his groan of satifaction nearly sexual when he finished. 

"Mmm. You  _do_  sound good like that."

He rolled onto his side, eyes first landing on his  _wife_ _'s_  wedding dress, then on the woman herself. 

The doors to the ocean balcony opened outward, letting the framing curtains dance wispishly on the Mediterranean breeze. The way the sun on the water was still more pink than golden hinted at an early morning. 

He chuckled, falling back into one of the 'sexy' poses he'd done hundreds of times for hundreds of magazines. "Now all I'm missing is my smokin' hot female drapery."

Daesung snorted into her cup as she took a sip, eyes closing in mirth. "Is that a suggestion or an invitation?"

"A heavily nuanced, professional recommendation." He winked. She giggled, both hands holding the simple white porcelain vessel. 

"Well, who am I to deny your expertise?" The wind hit just right to pull a long lock of shimmering auburn hair over her shoulder. 

His smirk softened to a smile and he flopped onto his stomach, eyes roving over her form appreciatively, but still not quite out of his waking daze to be aroused by her just yet. "I haven't seen that one. Where'd you get it?"

She looked down at the only garment seh could be bothered to wear this early in the morning, a soft, white linen housecoat. "One of Jiyong's gifts. I think they went shopping together, though, because there was a conspicuous absence of leather fetishwear in our wedding presents."

He had to laugh at that. "We'll have to thank our leader."

She nodded in agreement, her papery tie-up nightgown fluttering in almost perfect sync with the drapery as she added three marshmallows to her cup.

"What are you drinking?" He asked, not bring able to stop himself from smiling. 

"Coffee."

He barked out a laugh. "Coffee?"

She gave him a playful pout over her shoulder. "C'mon, Ji isn't here to doom me to hell for messing up his lifeblood. I'm allowed my own small victories sometimes, aren't I?"

In response, he only smiled and burrowed futher into the bedding. "You should come back in here. Much nicer."

She grinned again, taking up her guard once more leaning against the doorframe, presumably having been watching the sunrise. "You just want to get me out of my clothes."

He blew some blonde hair out of his eyes, meeting hers before throwing his hands over his head. "Busted."

They stood and laid there respectively in a long, tranquil silence, the waves beating rhythmically against the rock somewhere below his lovely, lovely Daesung. 

* * *

Turns out that between Seungri and Jiyong, they were given an entire wardrobe of linen clothes. Not that Yongbae minded so much. 

The Greek Mediterranean waters were warm this time of year, and Seunghyun and Jiyong had so kindly paired together to rent them a completely private, perfectly small island. So, naturally, Jiyong had been fifty steps ahead of all of them and assumed there would be a lot of splashing, surf and just general water. What better honeymoon clothes than ones that go seethrough when water is so much as in the same post code?

Yongbae was very much indebted to his best friend. 

Daesung's hands smoothed over his shoulders, her grinning face more devilish than angellic at the moment. "I should soak you more often at concerts. You look good like this.  _Delicious_ , some might say."

"Mmm. Feel like playing, my lovely Daesunggie?"

She kissed him just as chastely, as gently, as tenderly as she did every morning they woke up together. "Who wouldn't?"

He chuckled. "The problem with that, you see, is that I'm only looking for the approval of one woman."

"Ah, well. She's very lucky to have you."

"I'm much luckier to have her." His hands slid around her waist, pulling her into him. "She's one of those girls who could have any man she wanted bend over backwards for her, could get whatever and whoever she wanted. But she wants me."

Her smile softened. "I do."

His heart still stuttered, wild in love but tingling with nerves all the same, the way it did when he kissed her for the first time, holding her close to him, feeling the heart of her skin through the willowly layers between them. Five years and five rings between them to show their commitment and neither of them had stopped feeling the simple giddy anticipation of getting to see each other when they came home. They still giggled after short, sweet kisses when they were alone, still burned into each other when they touched intimately like this. 

"I love you, Daesung."

"I love you too, Yongbae."

* * *

Yongbae didn't think anything would ever feel quite as good as Daesung crawling onto his lap while they laid out in the sun, the sand warm around them, and ran her fingers through his hair, lips teasing up his throat, his dog tags catching on her collarbones as she moved up him. 

"Feels good." He murmured, turning his head just enough to catch her eyes, almost hidden beneath her falling hair. 

"Good." She murmured back, plush lips gently pressing against his jaw, her chest pressed fully against his, her thighs grazing his sides in a way that was just arousing enough not to be ticklish. 

He pulled his own fingers out of the sand, carefully dragging the tips along the silky smooth skin. She shivered against him, breath hitching pleasantly in his ear. His palms flattened against the sturdy flesh, sliding up to cup her ass through her pearly blue bikini. "It's wonderful when you're so forward like this."

"I like how I can make you shudder without even taking off my clothes." She replied, pressing another gentle kiss to where his cheekbone met his ear. "I like feeling how you react to me, even when it's not enough to get aroused by."

"You've got that to an art. You can pull whatever response out of me that you want, almost anytime."

She nuzzled against him, simply coming to rest on him, content as she breathed in the salt, the sea, the sand and him. 

His hands fell to more modest spots, gently roving over her bronze skin. "This reminds me a lot of those posters you sent me during my enlistment."

She blinked at him, then grinned broadly. "The  _T A E Y A N G_  Tour, right?"

"Yeah."

"I almost forgot to tell you about that." She laid her head on his shoulder, another gentle kiss on his neck. "It was my most successful album."

" _T A E Y A N G_?"

"Yeah. YG pulled me aside at the wedding and told me that he wants me to do a solo world tour."

"Really?"

She nodded. "I want to invite you and the other two along."

"What about Seungri?"

She slid a hand over his right pectoral muscle. "He's got to enlist this January. He won't be with us to go."

* * *

Yongbae had been a lot of places, all over the world. However, his honeymoon island in Greece was now his third most favourite place, after his apartment and his parents' home. Yes, he reflected on the plane ride home, Greece really was a lovely place. Maybe he could bring his children there one day.

It didn't take too long to gather their things and meander out to the parking lot. It was Seungri waiting for them, leaning against his decidedly American muscle car. 

"They should use you to model on those cars instead of women in skimpy clothes." Daesung teased as they approached their maknae. 

"I certainly am prettier." The blonde replied, sending a saucy wink Yongbae's way as he stretched himself out over the 1967 Mustang Shelby GT500. 

"Absolutely." She chuckled, patting his thigh. "I'll buy your calendar when it comes out."

"You better. Hunshik told me I was full of shit, but he's just a jackass." Seungri  rolled his eyes playfully and sat up again, popping the trunk for their luggage. "C'mon, then. Tell me how your honeymoon was."


	13. Victory

When Daesung answered the door, the microwave clock telling her that the sun would be rising in a couple of hours, she didn't quite know who she was going to kill, just that they had to go. However, once the door was opened, she was faced with an entirely different problem. 

Seungri winced when she gasped. "I know. I'm sorry to bother you so late at night. I just . . . I need to talk. Did I wake Yongbae-hyung up?"

"No, he's still asleep. Come in." She stepped aside, assessing just how long Seungri had gone without sleep. Bangs and dark circles on him weren't anything new, hadn't been for a long time, but he hadn't bothered with concealer tonight. He looked high-string, jittery and at once worn out, tired. He coudn't stop moving, but couldn't stay standing. 

"What's wrong, Seunghyun-ah?" She whispered, taking his hands in hers as they sat down on the couch, facing each other. 

Seungri's eyes left hers, drilling into the couch as he tried to find words. 

"You can tell me." She added, voice breathy. He nodded, lips pursed and body tense. 

"Noona . . . " He said, gripping her hands very tightly, bangs sheilding his eyes from view. "I'm so scared."

"Of what?" She eased, runnign her thumbs along the back of his hand. 

"I got my letter when you were on honeymoon." He sounded like he was fighting to keep his composure in place, but was losing that battle. "I wanted to call you then, to tell you, but I didn't want to spoil your honeymoon. I didn't want you to come home early because of me." He felt like he was shaking. "But I'm so scared. The other three have done it already. Hunshik spent three years there like it was nothing. But I'm so scared to go."

Gently, she pulled her hands away and opened her arms, letting the younger man fall in, almost immediately letting out his pent-up sobs against her shoulder. She held him there, stroking his hair and letting him fully exhaust himself. "My poor maknae."

* * *

When Yongbae rolled over in the early hours of the morning, arm searching for Daesung's warm body, he was confused. She wasn't the deepest sleeper in the world, but she always took extra time to sleep if she could get it, cuddling into him, spooning him, gently playing with his messy hair or hers. She didn't like to leave their bed, especially when he was in there with her. As he came to his senses - actually sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes - he noticed the faint hum of the grand piano in their living room (the engagement gift YG had given them) echoing placidly through the hall. He threw on sweatpants and walked out into the dark living room, spotting Daesung instantly, lit up against the ever-glowing backdrop of the city, and gingerly sat down beside her as she played the ivory.

"What are you doing up so early, baby?" He hummed, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"When we were trainees, Seungri used to have nightmares. He was afraid after he'd left home, got nervous the longer he went without seeing his mother after he moved in." Her fingers danced along the keys. "If he woke up in the middle of the night, he always accidentally kicked me awake. We would go down to the practise room together and I would play the piano for him until he fell asleep again. I would pick him up and bring him back and he wouldn't have nightmares the rest of the night." Her voice caught in her throat, but she kept playing. 

He stroked down her back. Daesung didn't speak to hear herself talk, ever, so whatever she was trying to spit out was most certainly difficult. 

She took a breath, leaning into him more. "When Seungri appeared on our doorstep, sleepless and scared, I just didn't know what else to do."

"Where is he now?" He asked softly, kissing her bare shoulder. 

"Bundled on the couch. He's asleep right now. Cried himself out."

He nuzzled into her shoulder again. "Come back to bed. Get some rest and we'll deal more with this in the morning, okay?"

She nodded, letting her final notes fade into silence before she stood, taking his offered hand.

* * *

Seungri woke up to the smell of food being cooked, which was absurd. He lived alone, after all-

Oh. 

_Right._

"Are you awake, Seunghyun-ah?"

He looked up at Daesung, whose thigh had been turned into his pillow, her fingers casually stroking through his hair. "Yeah."

"Good." She smiled softly. "Up, then. I'll show you the bathroom and get you some clothes. Mine will be a little baggy on you, but you should be fine with your belt."

He could do nothing more than follow her, gratefully taking in his noona's care. "Look, noona, I'm sor-"

"Nope! None of that!" She opened the door to the bathroom, smiling at him brightly, patting his cheek. "What kind of a noona would I be if I can't take care of my dongsaeng?" She got more serious, but she still didn't look angry. "Seunghyun, I think I would be upset if you tried to hide this from me. You're my one true Seungri."

He ducked his head to hide his tears. She seemed to know what he needed as she tenderly patted his head. 

"When you're done, come to the kitchen. Yongbae is cooking and we're going to watch a new anime that's piloting. Sound good?"

He tried to force his voice steady, but failed. "Thank you."

She pulled him into a hug, lovingly kissing his forehead before she ushered him into the bathroom. "Get cleaned up and then come into the kitchen! We'll be waiting!"

* * *

He would up spending the next three days there, laughing so much he cried. He even managed to sneak into their bed. 

Yongbae was on his back, Daesung draped over him with her head tucked into his collar. Seungri had decided it seemed like a perfectly fine opportunity to slide in alongside Daesung and cuddle up to her like they had as trainees. Man, he had forgotten how  _warm_  she was. No wonder they liked to sleep in little to no clothing. But Seungri also learned something, nearly asleep.

"Yongbae."

"Daesung."

Seungri looked over at them, suddenly wary, only to see his noona bury her face further into his hyung and said hyung wrapping both arms around her. 

"Love you."

"Love you more."

Seungri blinked after a long minute. "Ew."

* * *

"I was wondering why you weren't home."

Seungri looked up from over Yongbae's shoulder as the other man cooked. "Ji-hyung!"

Their leader smiled at him. "You been here all week?"

"Yeah. Just can't get enough of my elders." He pinched Yongbae's cheek and the elder playfully nipped back at him. "They're so cute, all fluffy together!"

Jiyong laughed, sitting down at the table. Seunghyun followed shortly after, peering into the open apartment door before he entered, seating himself beside Jiyong. "What you making for dinner, Bae?"

"Kimchi." He threw a smile over his shoulder. "You know mine's the best there is."

"Damn right." Jiyong agreed, idly scanning the room.

"What did you want me for?" Seungri asked at the same moment that JIyong's eyes landed on the folded up admissions letter. He tried to dive for it, but his leader was faster. 

* * *

Seungri came home one evening, a week or so after he left Daesung and Yongbae's apartment, to find Jiyong sitting on his couch, staring off at nothing.

"Hyung?" The maknae queried, more than a little nervous at the statue of his leader. 

"I'm sorry."

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry that you didn't feel you could come to me." His eyes fell to his shoes, hands running through his pink hair. "I'm sorry that I made you feel like I would treat you as less than because you're scared, like being younger makes you worse than I am. Like. . . like I wasn't ready to cry when I walked through those doors, didn't immediately want to run away, didn't want to fake my way out of it. I'm sorry."

Seungri swallowed down his instinctual smartass remarks and sat down beside the smaller man. "Where is this coming from?"

"Daesung always knows what's going on with you."

"She's my noona."

"Yeah, but I'm your hyung too." Jiyong looked distraught, close to tears, when he met the younger's gaze. "I . . . What good am I if you don't  _want_  to approach me? What kind of a leader, an older brother am I if you're afraid of getting  _ridiculed_  should you come to me? How much have you hidden from me because you were  _afraid_  of me? Didn't want to get  _cut down_  by me?"

Seungri couldn't hold his stare. 

Jiyong choked off a sob. "I failed you as a leader. I failed you as an older brother. I failed you as a friend. I'm so sorry."

"Daesung gave me a copy of the track you finished before your enlistment." Seungri said softly, still not able to look at the trembling man beside him. "I listened to it every day. It gave me strength. Even if you were off on a base somewhere, I had a piece of you, away from the public, that was all you. I missed you so much. There were so many times I wanted your advice, wanted to ask you for help, but you couldnt be there. I took time and thought about that, how much you mean to me, how much you do for me. I was upset when Seunghyun left, he's my hyung. But my life didn't stop. I recorded the day before he left, and I was recording the day after. I wasn't upset about Yongbae going any more than Seunghyun, except to see Daesung hurt because of it. But you . . . I cried so many times listening to that song. I still listen to it to calm myself, to bring me back down to earth. I was listening to it when I decided to go to Daesung with the letter. I could tell from the track that you were scared, terrified of what would happen to you. But I couldn't stand on my own, face it like you did. So, I went to my noona. She helped all of you go and welcomed all of you home and I thought that she could help me too. She talked with Seunghyun, recorded with you and was with Yongbae. I thought she could help me too. And she did. Just like you."

Jiyong pursed his lips, nodding, taking the other man's hand in his, urging him to continue. 

"I just . . . I wanted a hug. And it's not that my hyungs don't support me or care for me or what I can't tell. Daesung's just . . . Daesung. I went to her for the same reason the rest of you did."

Jiyong pulled Seungri into a fierce hug, his wirey frame clinging to the younger man with invisible strength. "Please don't hesitate to talk to me, okay? Don't hide from me when you're scared or in need. Please."

"I promise, hyung." 

They released each other, Jiyong dabbing at his eyes even though he wasn't wearing any makeup. 

"So, tell me what you thought of that song. I still don't know if I'm going to release it yet or not."

* * *

Two months later seen Jiyong's eyeliner and mascara smudging his cheekbones as Seunghyun drove them away from the airport, Seungri having disappeared into the airport twenty minutes beforehand.


	14. The Beloved Maknae

By far, Seungri was the one that called home the most. 

During his intitial year, Seunghyun hadn't called home - or back to Bigbang, at least - more than five times, four of them being in conjunction with birthdays. Jiyong had only called for birthdays, and even they were short calls. Mind, he'd been the most actively involved in the military lifestyle, constantly on the move with his squardon and working himself as hard as he could to ensure bodily exhaustion. Yongbae hadn't had much time to call, being with Jiyong and Hunshik almost all the time and with Daesung out of reach anyway.Seungri, by comparison, was left to his own devices and didn't quite seem to know what to dow tih himself. He adapted the slowest of them to the lifestyle, not quite able to completely keep up with the pace of the military exercises, what he was expected to learn. 

Needless to say, he missed his hyungs and noona. 

He called them as much as he could, noticing more and more that Daesung looked worn out. She was obviously working up to her album release and the tour that would inevitably follow should the album take off. The Japanese test audiences adored it like always, but they had also given her a Korean test this time (which was completely new) and they had fallen for her as well. He was proud of her success and brillaintly happy for her, only marred by his inability to hug and kiss her himself, not only smile through a screen. 

Yes, he missed them greatly, even that pain in the ass Hunshik.

* * *

 _T A E Y A N G_ was officially released three months after Seungri's departure and the response was overwhelmingly positive. Even the Korean audiences that didn't normally pull together for Daesung's work called out for her. The media outlets fired up about her again, this time lathering her with love and showering the album with compliments. 

Yongbae was really proud of his wife. All of the effort and love she'd poured into the album had payed off. He knew the emotions she'd put into each song, especially the four singles she didn pertaining to the four of them, specifically, would be the biggest hits. Whether or not her audiences realized it, they always responded best when she was the deepest into her lyrics. 

On the other side of that coin, however, when Daesung did manage to make it home, she snunk into bed exhausted and instantly lapsed into sleep. She was busy constantly, either on variety shows, promoting the album on talkshows or radioshows or working with her crew to assemble the tour that would be coming in a very short two months. 

On one of her days off (demanded by YG so she wouldn't collapse onstage), she invited her bandmates plus Hunshik out for dinner. 

"Long time no see. The tour must be going well, though. I see it every time I walk outside." Hunshik commented, forever the most punctual. 

She smiled wearily at him. "It's been exhausting, but that's good. That mean its working."

He snorted good-naturedly. "I bet. How's life being married?"

Yongbae's smile was soft. "Not much different. She's not around as much as she was when I came back, so it's been a little different."

"I'm kinda of surprised that none of the hosts have commented on my new rings." She looked down at the bands. "But I suppose that we're constantly changing jewelry, so it will take them a while to figure out that these two rings in particular haven't left my hand."

"Meh, give them time. Then you'll wish they hadn't."

She grinned. "Probably."

Jiyong was the next to show up, his hair a shining white.

"Woah." Hunshik murmured. Jiyong rolled his eyes. 

"Yeah, yeah. I didn't realize this is what would happen when I had my hair stripped. I also didn't think it would take as long as it did. I wanted to have it yellow before I came, but that was apparently out of the question." He turned to look at Daesung. "So, how's it feel to do a tour this big all by yourself? Do you need some help?"

She gave him a relieved smile. "I could use some pointers, but not today. I really don't feel like giving the tour any more of my brainpower. Not the technical side of the tour, anyway."

Jiyong gave her a funny look, but then the waitress came over and asked what he wanted to drink. 

Seunghyun, of course, was the last to arrive. 

Dinner went relatively quickly from there. They ordered, talked about their various problems, the status of their jobs, got to listen to Hunshik crack jokes at them because he only worked managing a department store and didn't have the "precious pressures of being a beloved world star". It was really funny, especially knowing that he didn't mean it, having not been able to complete the _Ringa Linga_  dance training and watching Daesung, Seungri and Yongbae just fly through its performance. When dessert came, Daesung cleared her throat. 

"I did have an ulterior motive for asking you here."

Hunshik almost dropped his spoon. "I only have twenty won in my wallet. Don't make me pay for a place like this."

She laughed outright, having to stifle herself. "No, no. I promise, this is my treat. I wanted to ask you, all four of you, if you would like to accompany me on the  _T A E Y A N G_  tour. You don't have to come up on stage or perform, through you're welcome to if you would like."

"Fuck yes." The words spilled out of Hunshik's mouth before he could stop himself. "I'd love to."

Yongbae smiled softly at her. "Sure. I'll come."

Seunghyun and Jiyong looked at each other, the unspoken conversation passing between them. 

_We loose recording time. Then there's all the weariness that comes with the constant travelling. It's a lot of work._

"I'm in." Seunghyun rumbled, leaning back with his glass of wine, idly assessing his strawberry dessert.

Jiyong ran his hands through his hair. "Korea and Japan, right?"

"Yeah. A couple extraneous stops in Vancouver and China."

"Six months?"

"Yes."

Jiyong let out a long-suffering sigh, but was smiling. "The things I do for my dongsaengs."

"So . . . you're coming?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, hyung!"

* * *

Seungri wasn't quite sure of when Daesung would be leaving for her tour, only knew that it was a really big deal because her face was plastered everywhere int he town close to the base. YG was really throwing his weight behind her this time, pushing her hard. 

He was hard-pressed to escape it back at base, even, learning that one of his barrack mates was in love with her, having preordered her album and the posters that accompanied the album theme. It was mildly uncomfortable to hear his barrackmate discuss how much he adored her, how sexy she was and that if he could, he would marry her. One more than one occasion, he'd been particularly tempted to show the pictures he'd taken from Daesung and Yongbae's wedding, to show him pictures of them kissing, half-drunk and lip-locked on a darkened club's dance floor. 

But, if there was one thing that helped soothe the distance between him and his family-like bandmates (he even had to grudgingly admit that he missed Hunshik too) was that he could tell Daesung had used them as inspiration to write the four best-selling and most infamous of her songs.  _Taeyang_ been obvious to him from just the title: Yongbae, after all, was the supreme muse for the whole album.  _Dragon_  was about Jiyong and his ever-present fight against expectation, to be recognized as a free human being, an artist crippled by stigma and dogma.  _First To Go_  reflected Seunghyun, when he heard it. Seunghyun had been terrified when he'd left, not knowing what to expect from his military service and drowning in that, even while Korean laws took him away anyway. What struck him the most, and for the most obvious reasons, was  _Last To Leave_. 

He'd never known how Daesung always seemed to know what was best for him, but she had come to his rescue once more here. He would have never been able to vocalize his feelings; having to follow after his hyungs was alomst worse than having to be the first to face it down, knowing what to expect but not knowing if he would be able to cope with the pressure. Listening to the track, looking at the track's poster on his barrackmate's wall, he wanted to be held by Daesung and cry, thank her over and over again for giving him voice when he couldn't speak. For giving him the boost, the understanding he needed to straighten his shoulders and keep moving forward. 

* * *

Daesung and Seungri were the two best known Bigbang artists in Japan. Needless to say, both of them were very comfortable in the Osaka arena, knew the place well and had a lot fo great crowd memories here, both of them even having had solo concerts here. 

"It's Seungri's birthday." Jiyong said to her as they watched the crew assemble the stage. 

"I know." She replied. 

"Do you want to facetime him before or after you go up on stage?"

"Neither."

"What? You have to call him today."

"Don't worry, I will. So will you guys." She gave him a mischeivious smile. "And so will the VIPs."

HIs jaw hit the ground. "You're not."

"I am."

"Get out."

She giggled. "No thanks."

Jiyong's face lit up. "Is this why you wanted us to come?"

"Partly. I wanted to be able to do this with all of us, but I also wanted to bring all of you out to vacation here while I work. Hunshik especially, since he hasn't really ever left Korea."

He tapped her nose. "You're the best, Daesunggie."

She grinned back. "I know. Go tell the guys. I need you to keep Seungri distracted, though. we're going to do it at the halways break."

"The ten thirty break?"

"Yeah."

"Right. I can work with that."

"Thanks, Ji."

* * *

For Hunshik, getting to watch his best friend's wife and his favourite artist perform on-stage was the best thing that had ever happened to him, aside from meeting Yongbae and Jiyong in the first place. She was a stunning performer, even pulling him up at one point to dance with him, smiling and laughing, a natural entertainer, a playful tease. 

It was awesome.

The crowds screamed her name, a sea of golden light up flowers spanning the whole of the dark arena. It was marvellous and breathtaking. Even better yet, he got to see her do it over and over again, bring them to their feet with screams and calls for encores. They couldn't get enough of her, especially in Japan. 

Jiyong had gathered them one particular night at the halfway point of one of their nights at the Osaka complex and brought them through to the foot of the stage, leading them up onto it when Daesung's voice faded out the last notes. 

"Is it ready?" She asked, pulling the mic away from her lips even as the fans went more wild with the appearance of the other Bigbang members (even though she danced a surprising amount with Yongbae and occasionally Jiyong behind her). 

"Yeah. Ready?"

She wiped some sweat from her forehead and ran her fingers through her hair, shrugging off her exhertion. "Yeah."

"Okay." Jiyong gave a cue to one of the crewmembers and the megascreens showcasing her performance to audience members in the back changed to black. The camera rotated around to face the audience, Yongbae taking Daesung's mic as she took a moment to catch her breath. 

"Hey, Osaka!" He called and the audience roared. He gave them a moment to calm down. "As you know, I'm sure, our maknae, Seungri, is going through his military service right now. But we need your help tonight. Today is Seungri's birthday, and we're going to call him live inside the stadium."

The audience sounded like they were getting tortured, but Hunshik supposed it was a decent cross between cheering and fainting. 

Yongbae raised his hand to quiet them and Hunshik was surprised when they (largely) listened to him. "Seungri is going to come up on the screens adn, when we give you the signal, we want you to sing _Happy Birthday_  with us, okay? Can you help us?"

Now, Hunshik didn't speak Japanese, but he was pretty sure that is Yongbae had asked them to kill the person next to them, in their frenzied state, they would. 

"Please, quiet down." Yongbae said. "We need you to remain as quiet as possible until its time to sing together, okay? Otherwise Seungri won't be able to hear us properly, okay? Quiet, please."

The audience dulled to a low murmur and Hunshik was floored. he supposed that having abs like Yongbae's would make even the most ravenous fangirl bow to their oppa.

"We're good to go! C'mon, Daesung, he's about to pick up!" Jiyong called, ushering all of them to duck behind the camera with him. Daesung took her place before the lens a mere minute before Seungri's face appeared on the flatscreens. 

"Hi!" Daesung chirped into her mic, laughing as Seungri's brow furrowed. 

"Daesunggie? Why do you have a mic? Why are you so sweaty?"

She shook her head at him, but kept smiling. "I'm in Japan right now, on the  _T A E Y A N G_ tour. What about you?"

"I've got two hours before lights out, so I'm just hanging out in the barracks right now." He settled back against his headboard, smiling at her. 

"Well, I have some special guests here to see you too." Jiyong's smiling face appeared, followed shortly by Yongbae, Hunshik, then Seunghyun. They were all giggly smiles as they waved at him.

"Yah! What are all of you doing with her? Hi!" He waved back. 

Jiyong motioned to someone offscreen and the camera tilted down, more parallel with the ground. It was revealed to Seungri, then, that they were standing in the middle of Osaka arena, surrouned by thousands of VIPs. 

Yongbae half-turned to the audience. "Sing with us now!"

Seungri couldn't help it. He cried. In front of his bandmates and a whole shitload of Japanese VIPs, he cried. Sacrificing time from her concert (and his bandmates taking time from their lives to be there with her) to sing him Happy Birthday. He was overcome with love for them, gratitude and affection warming him completely. 

They all gathered around Daesung or Yongbae's mics. "Happy Birthday, Seungri!"

"Thank you." He hiccuped out. "Thank you so much."

"We love you." Daesung smiled at him. She looked back at the audience. "All of us. We'll call you more personally later, okay? For now, I need to get back to the show."

"Absolutely, absolutely." He dabbed at his eyes. "Have a good performance. Fighting!"

The five of them grinned brightly at him, almost completely in sync as they returned the gesture. "Fighting! Go Seungri!"

He laughed bashfully. "I'll see you later, then. Enjoy the performance!"

They ended the call to the audience's roar of applause. 

That night, Seungri went to sleep with his thoughts and heart deep and warm in his chest


	15. Her Final Surprise

Seungri stepped from the airport like a prisoner getting his first taste of sunlight. It really made Daesung smile. 

"Welcome home, maknae."

"I know you missed me, but you don't have to be clingy."

She smiled and ruffled his hair only for him to slither his arms around her, sticking himself to her like a lifeline. 

"That's my job."

A surprise Yongbae flicked the youngest member on the ear, startling him into letting his wife go. "C'mon. Jiyong wants to make sure that his baby is well and alive."

"Still don't trust me to live on my own, huh?" He groused. 

Yongbae smiled wanly at him. "You haven't given us much evidence otherwise."

Seungri was so close to being offended, but the ringing clarity of Daesung's laugh drained the tension from him and he couldn't help but laugh out his stress, his exhaustion, the ache the plane left behind. 

She pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Welcome home, Little Seunghyun."

* * *

Reintigration into Bigbang was a lot easier than Jiyong and Seunghyun had made it look. They made it seem like it was some big paradigm shift from one lifestyle to another, but Seungri idn't feel that way. 

"It's just because you never really left this one behind." Daesung had said to him one evening when he was sleeping at her apartment, the only habit he hadn't been able to leave behind - he was so used to hearing other people sleep alongside him, the silence of his apartment was completely eerie. "You changed outwardly, but Jiyong and Seunghyun are method actors. They dive into roles, but it takes them a while to come out of them."

"That's fair, I suppose." He murmured, almost asleep on her shoulder like Yongbae was on her lap. 

"Mmm-hmm." She hummed, leaning her head on his. "Sleep, my boys." Her fingers threaded into her husband's hair, whispering over the maknae's cheek.

"Mmm." Seungri cuddled closer but made sure he didn't jostle his hyung. "You'll make a great mother one day, Daesunggie."

"Sleep, RiRi."

* * *

Seungri was easy to work with when he came home, almost ready to jump right back into recording. Yongbae had to retrain his vocals a little and help with his dancing, but other than that he was itching to get back to work and so was the world itching for them. 

Every network wanted their reunited band back together once they caught wind of the production of another album, a Bigbang album, no less. With the reformation of Bigbang, however, came a new contract. This time, YG had much less control over them and their creative process thanks to some mauveuring by Jiyong and YG's sincere wish for them to remain with the label. So, when it came to the shows clawing at them to come, their resolute answer of 'no' was a final one. 

However, one day during recording, Yongbae came back from the dance studio to the recording room and frowned. "Where's Daesung?"

Seungri raised an eyebrow. "Should I be keeping track of your wife?"

Yongbae ignored him, brows furrowing further. "No, I mean, has she been here at all? I don't see any of her things."

"Nah, she hasn't been here." Seunghyun replied, controlling the mix while Jiyong rapped and sang in the booth. "We thought she was with you. You always come together, don't you?"

"Not always. She said today that she was going to sleep for an xetra hour before she came, but that she was coming." He checked his phone, but there were no messages.

"She might have just slept through her alarm." Seunghyun suggested. "Wouldn't be the first time one of us has done that."

He blew a breath out his nose, shoving his phone into his pocket. "Could you text me when she shows?"

"Sure, but what did you even want her for?" Seungri queried. 

"I just wanted to have lunch, actually." He rolled his shoulders. "It's just strange for her to be . . . not where she's supposed to be."

CL snorted from across the hall as she locked up her recording booth. When Yongbae raised an eyebrow at her, she only giggled a little more and strode away with a cheeky wave. 

"What was that about?" Seungri muttered before shaking his head. "And yeah, I'll tell you when she comes. Now go dance."

* * *

Daesung didn't come. 

Yongbae drove home that night with his heart in his throat and worry clogging his mind. However, when he came home, spotted Daesung in the kitchen idly preparing food, he slumped against the door in relief. She seemed to have heard him, because she turned around with a gasp.

"Yongbae! Wow, you must be tired." She rushed over to him, her sturdy and unharmed hands pulling him into her. "Did you overwork yourself again?"

"No, I- You never came to work and I got worried." He ducked his head, knowing how foolish it sounded. She was a grown woman, she knew that she was doing and she didn't have to report to him or anyone else. He knew that, cherished it about her, even, but still . . .

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I meant to text you to tell you that I wasn't going to come in, but," She pulled her phone from her back pocket and signed heavily. "I forgot to press send." She smiled self-depreciatingly at him. "Sorry to worry you."

"No, I worked myself up for no reason. You've taken care of yourself long before we even dated." He gave her a quick kiss and pushed off the door, wandering into the kitchen. "What are you making?"

"Little sausages with yellow and red peppers and snow peas fried in oil with ketchup."

"That sounds really good, actually."

"I thought so. Take a seat, I'm almost ready to start the actual cooking, so . . . "

"Okay." He settled down on one of the chairs in the little dinner set, contenting himself with just watching her move so fluidly about the kitchen.

* * *

"Have you been working out harder?" Yongbae murmured into Daesung's ear, hand sliding down her stomach.

"No more than normal." She hummed back, enjoying his languid early-morning caresses and tingly little kisses. "Why?"

"Your stomach just feels tighter."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Just noticing." He whispered against her skin. "No matter what form you take, you'll always be my goddess."

"Mmm. You say that now." She ran her fingers through his hair,  pushing the woodsy strands out of his face. "But what about when I get bloated with all those kids you keep hinting that you want?"

"I'll have to shower you with extra love, then. After all, that would mean you have to share it with the baby too."

"What if there was more than one baby?"

"I'll just have to give enough love for all of you, no matter how many their are." He kissed along her shoulder, his other hands twining its fingers with hers. "That's all there is to it."

"You're too sweet for your own good." She murmured, smiling as she twisted to meet his lips, his hand slipping between her hips. 

"I'll show you just how sweet I can be, my lovely angel." 

* * *

Jiyong walked back into the recording studio, a triumphant grin on his face. "We're a go! YG's sending the album off to be copied."

They all cheered, Seungri tackling Seunghyun to the floor as he giggled and Yongbae and Daesung wearing matching smiles, both separating at the same time to smother Jiyong too. 

"We did it!" Seungri yelled, breathless, to the studio's ceiling. 

Jiyong couldn't keep his smile down. "Next, though, is promotions."

"We get to choose our own pace now, so that will make life easier for us." Seunghyun replied. 

"BUt don't let that freedom be an excuse to slack!" Jiyong eyed the other members. "We have freedom, but we shouldn't abuse it. All this freedom means is that Seungri won't have as-heavy black bags under his eyes. If we make a schedule, we keep it."

"We promise, hyung." Yongbae and Daesung soothed. "We know."

"Okay. We go out drinking tonight, celebrate, then tomorrow we go over the offers for airtime and choose which ones we want to do. Sound good?"

* * *

Hunshik was quietly sitting at home watching tv when the next show came on. He decided to watch it through, just to see his Bigbang friends squirm. 

He spat out his drink in surprise.

* * *

The show they were on had a game they did halfway through the program where one member (or two, depending on the group size) would sit on a stool and confess a secret to each of their other bandmates. 

It was embarrassing, but relatively uneventful. Yongbae went first, followed by Seunghyun, Jiyong then Seungri. Daesung had placed herself last, looking at her dongsaeng and hyungs. She was wearing loser clothing than normal for even her and when she folded her legs under her, it showed. She'd been waiting for this particular show and was containing her nervous energy relatively well, in her opinion, because none of her bandmates had mentioned it ro given her funny looks. 

"Start!" The host declared. 

"Seungri," She began, "Oh, Seungri." The audience laughed and their bandmates snickered. "Through all of your wild phases and into your service, I worried for you the most. Besides Yongbae, you're the member the most like family, a little baby brother I never had and my unofficial first child. I love you the most."

Seungri played up his cuteness, really working his aegyo, before she moved on to Jiyong.

"Jiyong," She began somberly. "I wish I knew how to look as attractive as you do as a woman." The audience roared and her leader flushed, laughing behind his hand. "You're so much better than I am with skirts and heels. How do you do it?"

Jiyong hid his face in Seungri's shoulder, even as the maknae teased him further for his embarrassment. 

"Seunghyun-hyung." She regarded him with a grave look. "When are you ever going to marry GD and take custody of Seungri? He's such a tiresome child."

Seunghyun took a moment to register what she said, but as soon as it clicked, he fell onto his back laughing. It took quite some time to get him to calm down, but she was glad that he took it with good humour. 

"Yongbae," Her gentle tone was sincere this time. "My precious Taeyang." She pulled her hand out of a hidden pocket and leant down, passing him what looked like a Polaroid picture. 

Yongbae stared at it for so long that Seunghyun tried to peer around him to see it, but the younger man pressed it to his heart, eyes beading with tears as he looked at her. His word escaped him in a weak gasp. "Really?" 

She fought back her own tears, smiling back at him. "Yes."

He jumped up from the floor and trapped her against him, squeezing the life out of her. " _Really_  really?"

"Yeah." She breathed into his neck, but her mic still picked it up. 

He sunk down to his knees, taking her hands with him and kissing her knuckles. "You're a goddess."

"What the hell are you even on about?" Seungri demanded, finally getting up to look at the paper still clutched desperately between Yongbae's fingers. "Holy shit!"

Yongbae tore his gaze away from hers to look at the photo again when he notices two things that didn't look like they were supposed to be there. "Is that . . . Are there . . . ?"

"Three?" She whispered, leaning down and cupping his face in her hands. "Yes."

His body gave out on him and he just fell back against the floor, muttering, awed, at the ceiling. "Three. Three of them . . . Three . . . With Daesunggie . . . "

Jiyong crawled forward and took the picture from Yongbae's slack fingers, holding it properly so the rest of the band and the host could get a good look at it. Naturally, it registered in Jiyong first, having an almost fatherly sense for their only female member. "You're pregnant?!"

She flushed, but beamed, still sitting neatly on her stool. "With triplets."

"Triplets . . . " Yongbae echoed from below her. 

"Quick, show the camera!" The host commanded, Jiyong turning the  _ultrasound_  in his hand around to face the camera. 

Yongbae jolted up from the floor again and swept Daesung out of her seat, swinging her around and peppering loving kisses over as much of her face as he could reach. "I love you so much!"

She laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist even when he finished spinning and sat himself down on her stool. "You're pregnant."

She giggled. "Yup."

"With my child-  _children_." He gave the word enough reverence to make her feel godly. 

"Mmm-hmm."

"Triplets."

"Yes."

"Triplets  _you and me made._ " 

She pushed some hair out of his face. "Absolutely."

His hand settled on her stomach and he pulled her down for a kiss, uncaring that the cameras were rolling, if their conduct was unprofessional, if they were disgusting their bandmates. He pulled away and pushed her back, just enough to raise her shirt, both hands coming to trace over the now-obvous baby-bump nestled amongst harad-packed ab muscles. 

"Hey there, babies, it's," Tears came to his eyes, "it's your  _Appa_. Your eomma and I are going to take really good care of you, I promise."


	16. Epilogue: Our Little Ones

**_Because I'm kind of convinced you guys want this to go on forever. ~~Not that I would mind.~~  So, because you guys love this so much, here is a  ~~surprisingly large~~  epilogue. Enjoy.  ~~Tell me if you want an epilogue of the epilogue.~~_ **

* * *

 

During her pregnancy, the boys would not leave her  _alone_. 

Jiyong went out and bought a whole gender neutral wardrobe for triplets and never repeated an outfit (all Chanel and Givenchy, of course). Seunghyun bought three cribs (with beautiful matching bedclothes) and matching wardrobes - all of the finest craftsmanship wood had to offer and each sublty different. Seungri flooded the room with plushies and toys. 

And perhaps she was biased, but what she loved the most was the little white iPod and its small docking station, a recorded collection of Yongbae playing the piano. Sometimes the music was classical, sometimes upbeat, and sometimes he or she would be singing some improv song that would end with happy giggles and coos of affection. 

She insisted on painting the room herself - "I'm not even in the second trimester yet, lay off!" - and kicked them out for the day while she did it. When her boys came back, they were astonished by the brilliant array of colours, stencil butterflies, flowers and all of the Bigbang logos, including the ones from their solo work. 

Jiyong cried. 

Daesung caught him, smiling as she kissed his hair. "Each baby gets one of their godfathers' logos over their crib. Do you like it?"

Even in her arms, Jiyong sunk to the floor, face buried in his hands as he practically sobbed, hiccuping  _thank you_  over and over. Seungri wasn't far behind, leaving the room in search of tissues. Seunghyun didn't care that his tears spilled down his cheeks, only smiling like a maniac as he crushed her in a hug, whispering to her how much he was going to spoil their little ones. 

She laughed. "Yongbae is their father, hyung."

He kissed her forehead, still beaming. "They're Bigbang's as much as they're yours. As their godfather, it is my duty to spoil these babies as much as possible."

"Whatever you'd like, hyung." She giggled back.

"Hey, how do I get a mention?" Hunshik griped from the door, furiously trying to hide the fact his eyes had gotten wet too. 

Daesung pulled him further into the room and pointed to the wall alongside the door where there were hung pictures of precious moments. One was of Yongbae, Hunshik and Jiyong during their miitary service, another of the wedding party where Hunshik danced with both the bride and groom and a whole array of group photos of the five and six of them over the last twenty years. "Don't worry, Shikkie. You're here too."

Yongbae clapped him on the shoulder. "You can spoil them with how often you're over for dinner."

Hunshik paused. "That does sound like a good deal."

They all laughed before Daesung shooed them out of the room. "i have to put the furniture back."

Seunghyun's brows furrowed, standing taller without thinking about it. "No, Daesunggie, you're pregnant-"

"-And that does not make me an invalid." She levelled him with a judgemental stare. "I will do whatever I feel like until these babies come out and no one can tell me different."

Seunghyun turned to Yongbae to appeal, but her husband only raised his hands in surrender. "She's a big girl, hyung. Big enough to get  _pregnant_. She knows best what she can handle. Besides, she's not even really showing yet. I'm giving it a few months before I try to change her mind."

Jiyong was exhausted, his waterworks finally running dry. He waved Seunghyun off. "No more! I need a drink and a place to rest. We move to the living room. Make sure to join us when you're done, Daesunggie."

She beamed and nodded an affirmative, closing the door and going about moving the furniture again. 

* * *

When she went into labour, the only one not panicking was Daesung. 

They were all vigorously pacing as she underwent labour, Seungri in particular looking like he wanted to bolt every time she grunted as the contractions started. Even Yongbae lost his normal cool, the same way he had coming home from his service, according to Hunshik. The ex-soldier had come with them to the hospital and been with them through her admittance and her adjustment to the maternity ward, but had approached her and Yongbae after she'd gotten comfortable. 

"I'm really sorry, but I can't stay here." He'd whispered, looking ashamed of himself. 

Daesung winced, a hand coming to her stomach, but the other coming up to pat his cheek. "Don't worry about it. I don't know if I could do it if I weren't the one giving birth. Even for another woman. This is going to be long and tense, for everyone. I don't mind if you go." She winked. "One less person to worry about chewing through their nails so much they're not even left with fingers."

"I'm so sorry, both of you."

Yongbae smiled at him, taking his wife's hand. "I'll call you when the triplets are born, okay? When everything's settled down, alright?"

Hunshik nodded, still nervous. "Thanks. I promise I'll come back when you call."

Yongbae tossed him the keys to his car. The other man blinked in confusion, but Yongbae only smiled. "I won't be needing it for a while. Plus, you can run errands for me when it comes down to it. 

* * *

Seunghyun had been the first to fall asleep, despite the nerves. Seungri, too, wore himself out worrying and fell asleep on his hyung. Yongbae made it valiantly through to the wee hours of the morning, but it was Jiyong who was awake with her the whole time. 

The contractions were coming too close together to get any sleep by the time her exhaustion set in, Yongbae with one hand in hers while bent uncomfortably over the bed to sleep. Jiyong had her other hand, idly playing with her fingers. Over the hours (she'd gone into labour sometime around ten am, if she remembered correctly, and it was close to six am now), and as the boys fell asleep, Jiyong became calmer, falling silent as he only held her hand, stared at her and sponging down the sweat beading on her forehead as the long contractions took over. He could only offer her sympathetic smiles, gently brushing her bangs out of her eyes and bringing her water and sweets, carefully peeling and feeding her slices of orange, peach and apple. 

"I never thought I'd ever get something like this." Jiyong had whispered, gaze locked on Daesung's face, his quiet voice loud in the empty hospital. "When I auditioned for YG and got accepted, when I made friends with Yongbae and when Bigbang happened, I never thought that I'd ever get the family I have now. I never could have guessed that I would get to be here while my pretty little sister  _has her babies_. I never thought I'd have such a close-knit group that I can look at a woman who is not related to me, not married to me, and feel as if her children are mine as well, as if the wellbeing of her and her babies mean as much as if they were mine. 

"I'm so grateful to be part of our world, Daesung. I'm so grateful that you could put up with me being angry and bitter in the beginning, not shying away from being grouped with me. I'm so grateful that someone like you is the lifelong partner of my best friend and unofficial brother. I'm so grateful that I can be here with you, both of you, and be paart of the privileged few who get to see and hold your little ones just as you give them life. I'm so grateful I'm worthy, in your eyes, to be a protective symbol over your babies' cradles. I'm so grateful that all of this could come to pass, that I could be blessed with a family so close our bonds override blood. I'm so grateful to have gotten the chance to be your hyung, your leader, your brother. Bigbang is my world, for sure," His lips quirked up, "but I'm absolutely sure that I have room for however many little ones you're willing to give. So, thank you, Daesung. I love you."

Even though her body siezed from the contractions, now coming seconds rather than minutes apart, she smiled bright enough to light up the room. "I love you too, Jiyonggie."

He returned her smile, eyes misting over as he gently extracated his hand from hers, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He disappeared out the door, returning with nurses who started to get ready for delivery. Jiyong roused the others, silent gratitude hanging unspoken in the air around Daesung, her face twisting with pain. 

* * *

Seunghyun, Jiyong and Seungri were told to wait in a small room just off to the side of where they wheeled Daesung off to for the delivery. Yongbae was allowed to go with her, at her insistence. None of them knew how long they sat there, silent. Close to four hours, if the way they could feel the springs in the plush couch start dingging into their asses.

Seungri looked ready to bolt again, so Jiyong calmly took his hand, the peace Daesung had given him permeating through the steady touch to calm the maknae's violent tremours. 

"She'll be fine." Seunghyun murmured, wrapping an arm around their shoulders. 

"I know." Seungri replied, a heavy sigh leaving him. "She's too strong to die."

Jiyong snorted. "You're worried about her dying?"

Seungri punched him. "Triplets are dangerous just normally! Why aren't you worried?!"

"Because it's already over."

The three of them snapped their heads up to see Yongbae in the doorway, grinning like an idiot. His blonde hair was messy as hell and the bags under his eyes made him look like Seungri-warmed-over, but the way he was  _smiling_  . . .

"Daesung's all cleaned up now and the triplets have all been checked over, all perfectly healthy. Do you wanna see?"

They were standing before he finished talking and he only laughed, leading them down a couple of hallways before they entered a decently large room with a view over Seoul, a dryer and a pop-up cot set up next to Daesung's bed. 

She was only barely awake, only able to use her eyes in greeting. Yongbae stroked over her hair and gently picked up one of the babies - one of the little  _girls_. 

"Jiyong?" Yongbae moved over to him, handing him the child and teaching him how to hold her properly. "I would like you to meet Dahye."

His eyes began to water again as he bent down, brushing their noses together as the baby girl slept. "Hey, honey. It's Uncle Ji-" He swallowed past the lump in his throat. "It's Uncle Jiyong. Gonna take such good care of you."

"Seunghyun-hyung?" Yongbae positioned him similarly, laying down a slightly smaller girl. "This is Aehyeon."

"Hey, baby!" Seunghyun rumbled, lighting up and going to tap her adorable little nose. She was more awake than her sister, though, because her small hands reached out and grabbed at his finger. The other members swore they saw Seunghyun's soul leave his body, the overload of  _precious_  sending him straight to Heaven. 

"The youngest for the youngest." Yongbae joked, laying the smallest infant in Seungri's arms. "Say hello to your new niece, Hyorim."

"I'll protect you with my life." The mumbled, kissing her forehead. He felt little hands stroke his chin and when he pulled away, Hyorim  _giggled_. 

Jiyong laughed through his tears. "Even the baby thinks Seungri has a funny face."

Even Daesung managed a chuckle, though her usual rasp sounded a little more like sandpaper than a human vocal sound. Yongbae was at her side in moments, stroking down her hair.

"Don't worry, sweetheart." He soothed. "I'll take care of the girls. You just get some rest, okay? Look, Ji's already a natural. I'll get him to help me wrangle up the babies, then I'll take care of our girls."

Neither hyung nor maknae made a smart remark, too caught up in watching their new godchildren and nieces play or mouth at their clothing or fingers. 

Yongbae wrapped an arm around Jiyong's shoulders, leaning on his leader as exhaustion overwhelmed him. "They're the most precious things, aren't they?"

"Absolutely." Jiyong stroked over Dahye's face again, just to watch her face scrunch up. 

Aehyeon and Hyorim yawned at the same time and Yongbae was suddenly alert again, like a golden lab who just got tazed. 

"I hate to have to part you from them, but we have to put them to sleep." He guided them over to the cot, which was larger than it had looked, and pulled some thick white sheets from the dryer. He folded them on the bed, precise and careful, then took each of the girls in turn and laid them down, pulling the bottom half of the sheet up to cover up to their little chins. Their swaddling would prevent them from rolling over, so the only objective was to make sure that they stayed warm. Yongbae covered Daesung with another one of the warmed sheets and she sighed contentedly. 

"Get some rest, okay?" Jiyong urged. "We're going back to Seungri's apartment, because it's closer, so we don't disrupt the staff. Call me if you need anything, absolutely anything, in the meantime, okay? We'll be back as soon as we're rested and cleaned up. I'll bring you some things as well."

"Thanks, man." He hugged each of them in turn. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Seunghyun tapped each baby's nose, entering himself into a giggling fit. "You absolutely will."

Jiyong ushered them out, having to practically force them. He took one last look.

Yongbae kissed Daesung's slack lips, whispering something to her, before climbing on the cot and gingerly laying down next to the babies, one arm laid above them and one underneath as he curled around them protectively.

Jiyong closed the door, letting his family, new and old, rest peacefully. 


	17. Epilogue: Uncle

Now, Daesung considered herself very close to the other members of Bigbang (Yongbae excluded). She shared silence with Seungri, passion with Jiyong and silliness with Seunghyun. Even Hunshik had a special place in her heart, a calm voice that could bring a simple outside perspective to their lives. 

But, if possible, they crowded her even  _more_  since the girls had been born. 

Yongbae, the lucky bastard, escaped with Hunshik with a cheeky smile when Jiyong had opened the door (why had she ever given him a key?) and swept right by her to find the children he seemed to want to steal. Seungri and Seunghyun were more gracious, stopping to hug her and greet her, but Seunghyun was practically vibrating and he practically jumped out of her arms to go to the triplets. Seungri rolled his eyes and went with his noona into the kitchen to make some coffee because this was going to eb a  _long_  night.

* * *

Each sister had a favourite. Of course, Eomma and Appa always came first, but they each had someone specific they clung to. It made it really difficult if only one of the other members was available to come. The other two would feel abandoned, even if they were played with. 

Dahye really liked Seungri. She would make the same pouty faces as him when she didn't get something she wanted and the held the same aloof disgust for broccoli. BUt, perhaps most importantly, they both really liked to sleep together on the couch. They had bouts of hyperactivity, but most of thee time they were the most sassy and the most lethargic. Seungri would get tired from keeping up with her and lay down on the couch, sitting her on his chest to play with his rings or necklaces. Eventually, though, she would get bored of that and notice that her uncle had gone to sleep under her. She would crawl up him and nuzzle her way under his hands. Once sufficiently covered, she, too, would lay still and fall asleep listening to the echoes of her uncle's heartbeat. 

Aehyeon clung to Jiyong. Both of them level-headed but prone to diva quirks, looking after their sisters and groupmates respectively. She was a calm baby - not lethargic or sleepy, but quietly worming around the apartment to get a look at everything and babbling when she wanted higher or to see something closer. Jiyong indulged her, carrying her on his hip like she belonged there, some sort of precious accessory. He was patient, too, and explained things to her. She couldn't speak yet, but she seemed to hang off his words, even more rapt than when she was sitting on Yongbae's lap watching him play the Moonlight Sonata on the grand piano when she fussed in the early hours of the morning. She would grab at Jiyong's other accessories, but she never tore at them, and he would be so endeared that she had managed to acquire quite a significant portion of his jewelry collection. She would play with his fingers, content in being idle, as she sat on his lap while he talked with the other members or watched one of their scheduled get-together movies. 

Hyorim adored Seunghyun. She was largely a quiet baby, but when she saw Seunghyun, she became the most giggly mess. He couldn't help how he giggled back, her shrill peals of joy ringing through the apartment. She loved his voice, sometimes impatiently pawing at his throat if he had been silent too long for her tastes. Sometimes, she would miss him so bad the only way to get her to sleep was to play his songs, or songs he featured heavily in. She was also one of the few people who appreciated the many layers of clothing he wore, liking to snuggle up in the fabric or pull the flaps of his jackets around her and rubbing her face into the silky lining. And Seunghyun could deny her nothing, taking over her care completely when he came over, which was at least twice a week. He would roll on the floor with her, play peek-a-boo, build with her blocks, cuddle whichever stuffed animal she gave him. He even have her one of his diamond-encrusted platinum Swiss watches because she really liked looking at it. It was a twelve thousand dollar watch. The sound Daesung made when she found her infant mouthing at the links was inhuman and horrified. Seunghyun wouldn't hear of having it returned, especially with the way Hyorim's eyes remained glued to it whenever she could see it. 

"I have two more just like that one." Seunghyun had cut her off, firm. "I gave that to her a month ago and look, it's fine. She likes it too much to break it. Just let her have it. It's nothing off my back."

"Hyung, it's too much. I don't care if she likes it. She's not even a year old yet." Daesung had pushed back.

Seunghyun shrugged. "Give it back to me if you really want, but I'll just hide it in her crib. She'll sniff it out."

She loved having the extra hands around, though Yongbae and Hunshik were around a lot of the time and would trade off duties so she could go into the studio or work out or even just have time to herself in the decent silence of a small coffeeshop. But her boys were going to make her girls spoiled. 

"I think it's cute." Yongbae had said, the other three having taken over so that the couple could go out for dinner alone. "It's sweet that they'll give them so much, even if they're too young to appreciate it all."

She worried her bottom lip between her teeth. "That's what I'm afraid of, though."

Yongbae pulled her in for a brief kiss, stroking over her cheekbone lovingly. "Babe, even if our girls start to become spoiled, do you think Jiyong will let them get away with that kind of thing? I mean, remember how hard he was bringing us up? Then Aehyeon will keep her sisters in line. It'll work itself out, don't worry."

She sighed and pressed their foreheads together. "Okay. You're probably right."

He chuckled. "It's good that one of us is nervous, though. It'll keep Jiyong on his toes so he can't abduct our middle child."

She laughed, fondly grinning at him. "I'm so happy here."

He blinked. "Like, the restaurant?"

"In life. Everything that lead up to this, the combination of everything. My group, my husband, my children. I'm happy here, just in this little instance of time."

His smile was soft and tender, his kiss sweeter than the caramel of the dessert they'd shared.

"Me too, Dae. Me too."


	18. Return of Superman

Yongbae could have cried when Seungri threw open the door to his apartment, letting it hit the wall with a sharp  _bang!_ that echoed through the small space. He'd dashed forward and capped his hand over the youngest's mouth, the silence holding out just long enough to think that maybe, by some beautiful stroke of good luck, Seungri  _hadn't_  woken the triplets. 

Dahye made a small sniffling noise from the other room, Aehyeon gave a loud yawn and Hyorim gurgled. More silence. 

Seungri was glaring at him, but didn't move. Yongbae stepped back and made a shushing gesture. Seungri lowered his voice to a whisper. 

"What was that about?"

"The girls have been really active today and they keep crying for their mother." Yongbae replied, gently closing the door and guiding Seungri to the more distant space of the kitchen.

"Daesung's in Japan right now, isn't she? Can't you just tell them that?"

Yongbae's glare almost made the maknae's heart stop. "You try telling two year olds that they can't have their mother because she's in another country and see how well that goes. Better yet, you take care of the girls while I go nap. I could use one."

"Dae hasn't even been gone two weeks and you're already burnt out?"

"So . . . are you volunteering to do the next two week shift?"

"Hell no."

"Then shut up."

Suddenly, Dahye was standing beside Seungri, tiny hand on his leg for balance in just her diaper with the stuffed panda Seungri'd bought her for their last birthday. "Sukbu?"

Seungri jumped a little at the small voice, but looked down and knelt next to the little girl. "Hey baby. Didn't appa just put you to bed?"

Dahye nodded, but tapped his knee. "Do you know where Eomma is?"

Seungri's eyes flickered to Yongbae, but the look on the man's face said that there would be no help coming form him. "Uh, your mother is in Japan."

"Japan?"

Seungri nodded slowly. 

"Where is that?"

Seungri picked the tot up and brought her over to Aehyeon's plastic globe. "See this little yellow place right here? This is where we are, Korea."

"Korea." Dahye echoed. 

"And see this little purple island here? This is Japan."

"Japan." Dahye recited. 

"That's where your mother is right now."

"Why did she go there?"

"She's on tour right now." Dahye obviously didn't understand what theat entailed. "She's up on stage singing for a lot of people and making them happy."

"Eomma sings for other people? She said she sings for us and Appa!" 

Seungri quickly backtracked at the misty tears forming in her small eyes. "She has very special songs for you and your sisters and your father. Songs that even me and your other uncles don't know! She doesn't sing those - those are only for you."

Dahye calmed down some. "When will Eomma get back?"

"Her tour lasts for another month and a half."

"Two months without Eomma?"

"Unfortunately." Seungri pushed back her hair. "It's her job."

"Why did she have to leave us behind?" Dahye was letting little tears roll down her puffy cheeks and Seungri was hopelessly moved. 

"But you still have your Appa and your uncles."

"But I want Eomma!"

"Eomma?" Aehyeon murmured from the doorway to her bedroom.

"Eomma!" Hyorim screamed from her bed.

Seungri paled and Yongbae dove for the phone, hands shaking and cursing the fact he couldn't call both Seunghyun and Jiyong at the same time. 

* * *

"What did you even come over here to talk about?" Jiyong asked, Aehyeon asleep in his lap. 

"There's this girl that I really like and I wanted to ask Yongbae about what I should do for our first date." Seungri muttered miserably, Dahye curled up in his jacket with Seungho the panda.

"Why Yongbae?"

Seungri rolled his eyes. "This girl's a long-time friend of mine and I finally got her to agree to go on a date with me. Who do we know who successfully dated a long-time female friend? So successfully that we're holding their children?"

"I have a lot of dating experience too, you know!"

"Yes, well." He made a face. "In retrospectc, I should have just facetimed Daesung."

"She's in concert today. Wouldn't have helped." Seunghyun murmured, Hyorim inside his jacket with him and sound asleep. He cradled her, rolling onto his side and dozing off again, the lazy overzied teddybear. 

Seungri made a dismissive sound. "I'm her dongsaeng. She'd pick up for me."

Jiyong kicked his leg, hard. The maknae went to bark back, but Jiyong motioned to Yongbae, who was laying on the couch. His hair had grown out quite a bit, shading into his eyes, but not doing much to cover up the exhausted bags. Usually, the girls weren't much trouble to anyone, especially their beloved father, but this was the first time Daesung had been on tour since they'd been born and she didn't want to transplant them for two months into a new country and keep them locked up in  a hotel or dressing room most of the day. Which was fair, because where the little ones went, Yongbae went, and he wasn't thrilled about that idea either. But Yongbae hadn't been left with the girls alone that long, and neither parent knew what the girls' reaction would be to the separation. It had taken its toll on the man, staying up crazy hours with his daughters, trying his best to keep them happy.

"We should come over more." Jiyong whispered, stroking Aehyeon's head. "He looks like he could use the help."

"I'll come." Seunghyun rumbled. "Hyorim and I can go down to the duck park."

"Until Daesung comes back?" Seungri laughed.

"And what's wrong with that?" Seunghyn bit back, holding the smallest girl close to his chest. "She loves me and ducks. It's a perfect combination."

"What we  _should_  do is put the girls into their own beds, let Yongbae-ah sleep and come back tomorrow with an overnight bag." Jiyong proposed. "I'll give him the keys to my apartment and he can go rest up for a couple of days."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Seunghyun murmured.

"I've got recording booked." Seungri said. 

"Unbook them." Jiyong barked. "Our family needs some assistance. It's not going to kill us to be with the little ones for a two days and an evening. Plus, I can assure you, Yongbae will probably stay with us most of the first day and be back before noon on the second. 

"Fine. No need to get bossy with me."

* * *

Things went smoothly, mostly. The girls got distracted by their uncles being around a lot, but still got homesick for their mother sometimes in the wee hours of the morning. Yongbae took to playing her music around the house. The girls kept asking him why they didn't understand her words and he told them it was because she was singing in Japanese. 

After that it because a breeze. The girls seemed to have colelctively decided that they wanted to learn Japanese to be able to understand their mom's singing and Yongbae got to teach them. By the time Daesung came home, exhausted by her tour and the plane ride, her little ones could say basic Japanese phrases and recognize Japanese letters (though they still had trouble understanding kanji and the complete difference between hiragana and katakana). 

Daesung walked in the door at midnight, making sure to keep her movements as hushed as she could on the wood floor. She found her husband on a king-sized blowup mattress step up in their living room, one girl under each arm and Hyorim on his chest. She smiled, shedding her clothes and changing into her boyshorts and a white tank top before gently easing herself down onto the mattress.

"Welcome home." Yongbae murmured, peeking out an eye and smiling. 

"Good to be back. How've the girls been?"

"Good, good. They want to learn Japanese."

"What?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you tomorrow. You should get some sleep, though, because they'll be  _mauling_  you tomorrow."

She smiled and kissed him, slow and sweet, just reabsorbing what it's like to be back home and not in the too-familiar pantheon of a stage. "You sleep too, honey."

"I love you, jagiya."

"I love you more," She gave him a cheeky wink. "oppa."

* * *

Despite being home, Daesung's schedule picked up and she was busy most of the time, off recording or mixing or working on a show, drama or movie. She was home almost every night, though, and when she wasn't or was gone extra-long days, Yongbae would take the girls to see her at the studio (if she was in YG). They were always happy to see Jiyong, no matter what, and he was perfectly content to let them roam around the studio so long as they didn't enter the recording booth.

It wasn't much longer after that when Yongbae was approached by the producer of Return of Superman.

"The studio and I were wondering if you would like to be a part of Return of Superman, you and your girls." The man said. "You and Bigbang have been features guests many times for Tablo and other young children, so we figured it was only right to ask if you would like to participate with your own young ones. You're under no obligation, of course, and I will leave it up to you what days you would like broadcast."

"You'd let me choose?"

"We offer the same courtesy to every parent we're with, sans when they accept special guests." The producer said. "You don't have to answer now. Here's my business card. Discuss it with your wife and give us a call if you're interested."

"Thank you very much." 

They bowed to each other, Yongbae collecting his babies and shuffling them into the elevator to go see Eomma.

* * *

"Do you want to do it?"

Yongbae shrugged, lips pursing. "I mean, I think I do. It's so hard to really tell.

"Then you should do it. I think you'd like it. Plus, you can bring in the boys to come play and boost ratings, maybe set yourself up for another tour soon."

Yongbae shivered. "You know, when I was off for those months after the girls hit six months and you told me how much they missed me, I can't even begin to imagine your pain. When you went to Japan, theyd id nothing but cry, literally cry, until you returned or the guys came over. You deserve all the vacation time possible for putting up with them."

"They're my babies." She winked. "The secret was to let them sleep in your bed. Then they would sleep through the night. And you could have slept with them during naptime."

His mouth dropped open. "How did you figure that out?"

"That's what Hyorim wanted. Dahye asked me to play your songs on the piano.  _Eyes Nose Lips_  on repeat."

"You poor soul." He nuzzled her. "I'm so sorry. I didn't even think."

'Well, they'll have to get used to it. We haev to keep up with Bgbang, if not our solo stuff, and they'll have to come and learn patience and separation."

He shook his head, kissing up her neck. "Don't talk about that yet. They're so little and I don't want to see their innocence tainted so quickly."

"And yet we leave them with Seungri."

"Touche."

* * *

They had all gathered at Seunghyun's mansion at Seungri's request.

Of course, the man was the last to show up, much to Dahye's dismay. Seunghyun had distracted the little ones, though, setting them in a little penned off area with toys and blocks to play with, out of the way of traffic but not of sight.

The front door opened and the adults looked up, the triplets playing on unhindered. Seungri rounded the corner, followed by a slim but fit woman in he rlater twenties with dark hair and a firm grip on his hand. 

Seungri was completely and utterly uncharacteristically nervous, but the woman squeezed his hand in reassurance and he swallowed it down. "Guys, I'd like you to meet my, uh,  _girlfriend_ , Hyeja."

Yongbae stood with a gentle smile and approached them, hugging her. "Pleasure to meet you, Hyeja. Welcome to the family."

She smiled and ducked her head respectfully. "Thank you."

"Take a seat. I'll go get some wine for the two of you." Seunghyun jumped up, that stiff, awkward smile from their teenage years rearing up on his face. Daesung scotted over on the couch and gave them room to sit down, smiling broadly at the other woman.

"Ah, I'd heard you'd had children." Hyeja said. "All three are yours?"

"Yes. Triplets. Dahye, Aehyeon and Hyorim."

"What lovely names."

"Thank you." 

Seunghyun came back with the wine then, handing the two glasses to the new couple.

It went pretty well from there. They learned that Seungri had met Hyeja in college and had taken to her for her simple, but no-nonsense attitude. She was a placid, but well-mannered woman who was polite, but easy to talk to. The two had remained friends and he'd even taken her on a couple of his private trips. They'd been on a few dates over the years, but they hadn't felt right getting together until a couple of months ago. Hyeja had been in college for Literature and English studies, aiming and succeeding in becoming a high school teacher and a part-time book translator. She had been trying fruitlessly to teach Seungri English over the years and her stories about his screw ups in foreign countries had the group laughing. Daesung and Yongbae really liked her: Seungri had never brought even so much as one of his girlfriends back to meet them, so they both knew he was serious about her and was likely going to wind up marrying her, if everything worked out well. They were happy that he had found someone who so effortlessly fit into his life, understanding the gaps caused by his job and the balance to Seungri's unpredictable craziness. Not to mention how Seungri watched her, enraptred in every word she said even when they weren't directed his way. She was calm and soothing, something the hyperactive Seungri needed more often than he got.

Hyeja excused herself to the bathroom later on in the evening, after she had gotten fully comfortable and Seungri stopped looking like he was regretting every decision he'd ever made. Daesung immediately pulled him in, kissing his forehead. 

"She's lovely." His noona assured. "I can see why you two are so drawn to one another."

"I really love her." Seungri said. "But we're nothing alike. We're not mellowed together like you and Yongbae."

"I like to think we're more of the exception to the rule than most people." Yongbae said, leaning forward. "But I like her too, for the record. She'd make a great long-term girlfriend. Wife, even."

"You think?"

The couple nodded together, but it was Yongbae who spoke. "Absolutely. You look at her the same way that I do when I look at Daesung. Plus she's very smooth where you're jittery."

Seungri breathed out a huge sigh of relief. "Good. I'm glad."

They left an hour or so later, since Hyeja lived on the other side of Seoul and had class the next morning. Seungri took her back with a wave and his sportscar disappeared into the evening lights. 

They went back to the living room, the triplets asleep on a low air mattress Seunghyun set up for them, all wrapped up in blankets that smelled of their playful uncle. Jiyong and Seunghyun collapsed onto their loveseat and chair respectively, Yongbae opting to lay with his head in his wife's lap. 

"Well, it's official."

"Yup." 

The couple looked to Jiyong, who had spoken first. "Huh?"

"Seunghyun and I are going to die alone."

"Yup."

They looked at each other, then back to the two eldest band members. "Okay, start from the beginning and fully explain yourselves."

"Seunghyuna nd I decided that if Seungri got married before we did that not only is it not possible for us to marry, but the two of us, specifically, will live together and die surrounded by fifty cats and one dog."

Yongbae snorted. "Why just one dog?"

"I like dogs, but not as much as cats." Seunghyun clarified. 

"I see." Daesung replied slowly. 

"So, we're going to die alone. Together. Fate has decided."

"How much have you had to drink, Ji?" Yongbae queried, eyebrow raised. 

"Dunno. Seunghyun just kept it coming."

"Alright, well, we shoudl get you two to bed before this sticks when you're sober. You'll find your girls, all in good time."

* * *

Seungri married Hyeja six months later, going to a neighbouring island to the one Yongbae and Daesung had gone to in Greece. Hyeja became a semi-permanent fixture in the Bigbang members' lives, alongside Hunshik. She fit in well, very bluntly telling Seunghyun that he was the most handsome man she had ever met and that was why she was more attracted to her Seunghyun, preferring the Lee over the Choi variety. Seunghyun had sulked for days, muttering under his breath and cursing his puberty success story. Seungri had gotten a little indignant, asking her if she thought the other two male members were better looking than him too.

"You're more handsome than Jiyong and Yongbae isn't my type. I wouldn't have married you if I thought I could do better."

Hunshik had laughed right in his face att he gobsmacked expression Hyeja left him with and followed his other friend's wife into the kitchen, praising her skill at shutting the maknae up. 

Yongbae ultimately decided to follow through with Return of Superman. Some nights, when things were dry and Yongbae was sure to be featured, Bigbang (plus Hyeja plus Hunshik plus the triplets) would gather around to watch the show. There was one particular day when the girls just would not calm down - Daesung off for a photoshoot for the week in London, Paris, New York and finally Toronto - and were absolutely terrors. In the episode, Yongbae looked up to teh picture of Daesung and Yongbae that hung up on the wall and he made a whimper-like noise in the back of his throat, longingly singing  _Come Back Home_  to the picture. It had left Hunshik in tears he was laughing so hard, but Seungri pale-faced.

"We are never having children."

"Says you." Hyeja retorted.

"They were terrible that day, but I still love them and they're not like that even ninety-five percent of the time."

"It's the fiver percent that I'm worried about."

It was always like Hyeja could see right through him, tenderly kissing him. "We're having kids, like it or not."

"Okay, jagi."

"Ha! You're whipped!"

"And that's why you're single."

Seunghyun and Jiyong said nothing to Hyeja's retort on Hunshik, just cuddled together, preparing to die in cat feces and despair. 

"A pair of divas, both of you." Hyeja muttered wihtout looking, still focused on staring Hunshik down. "Maybe if you left the studio and your homes, you'd actually meet someone worth your love, or be worthy of someone else's."

"Harsh." Seungri said.

"True." Daesung chirped. 

"Okay, we get it. We're hopeless." Jiyong hissed. 

"Not hopeless. Just useless, currently."

"Are you sure you're actually married to the fetus?" Hunshik said. "Because I could certainly come to love you."

"Hmm. But can you handle my hard sarcasm?"

"Certianly."

"My cavalier attitude?"

"Absolutely."

"My harsh retorts?"

"Confidently."

"My leather whip?"

"Sure- Wait, no. That wasn't right. What was it again?"

"Harsh retorts?"

"After that?"

"Oh, leather whips."

"That's the one. Question: Used on me or you?"

"On you by me."

"In that case, I have been disqualified."

"Thought so." Hyeja turned back to the tv just in time to see Yongbae collapse on the floor, the little ones running over to swarm him and cover his face with pillows. He was unresisting to them at that point, at the mercy of their whims.

"They really take a lot out of you, don't they?" Daesung chuckled. 

"Yes, but I love them. Plus, I've yet to do something as exhausting as run a world-wide solo tour. An audience of three is a piece of cake."

"Hmm. I'm sure."

All in all, everything was looking up and moving forward. Nothing much more to ask for, really.


End file.
